Way of Life

This is adsurd..absolutely. Human has to learn..Human has to grow up. For one to grow up, there's has to be risk, sacrifices and difficulties. It's only through these hard processes and moments that human learn and learn and grow from there.

One can't just stucked in the shell. If that's that case, something has to be done. If not, things will go out of hand. It don't just involve a person. It involve many. I may not be related, but i feel i have the responsibility. It's good things are starting to change. Reminders has to been given every now and then.

Imagine a person who's always at home. He/she won't know what's going on out there. He/she won't know what is the life out there. It will cause great harm and difficulties when he/she go out to work in future. Parents can be there for now, but what about future?

There's a saying that goes:

Give the person a fish and he'll survive for that day only.
Teach the person to fish and he'll survive forever til the day he dies.

Right now, i can only say everything is unstable. I had always thought it can last. At least for the very 1st few months. But now, things seems to take a turn. I'm still not feeling as though i'm part of what i should be. All those words shooted from your mouth seems to have a specific direction and damage to me. It's words of anger, yes i agree. But isn't it too harsh? I'm sure i'm not treated how i should be treated when those words was shoot isn't it. I'm very sure. Worse of all, that sentence finally came out. I knew..it has scarred my heart once again. Never will i forget that, and never easily will i forgive that. It's done. Not easy to forget. I've learnt a lesson. One that only i can teach myself.

For now, i won't pin too much hope. I'll let nature take its course. I realise there's certain things that it's better if i keep to myself and not tell anyone else. I've learn to depend on myself more. I trust myself more than anybody else now.

Sidetrack abit...i've been exercising everyday recently. I'm on my way to 6-pac physique. No more tummy for me. No more wobbling fats for me. Just a healthy body and i want to make sure i can eat well, at the same time, maintaining a healthy body. It's hard to resist food, especially when you are in a food heaven like Singapore. There's alot more food i want to eat! Someday, i shall drive around Singapore and eat all the good food i can find. Yummy..

Random

Finally touched my cut stick once again. Main joy wasn't because i got to play pool again, but because i get to catch up with my friends. It's been a long time since i last met up with Don and Jon, especially Jon. Each had our own commitments, nevertheless, we are still able to meet up.

Both of them are going to 'ORD' soon. Left 2-3 months of service and they'll be on their way to sch. Happy for them. Mentioning about school, i myself i going to school too. Had confirmed to enrol into the Diploma of Travel, Tourism and Hospilality management. Thankfully, i got the support of my mum and Dear. If everything goes on well, i should be starting school on 11 July.

Yesterday i was feeling super low. Out of the sudden. I felt as though i had no life. I was bored, i was feeling as though i had no life. So much things i wanted to do, to colour up my life. I want to go out. I want to spend time with my Dear. I want to watch soccer. I want to play games.

Man Utd won yesterday! 4-2. A big comeback from them. The EPL title is within reach now. Chelsea didn;t get their full 3 points as Bolton came back from behind to drew level with them. YES! I can't wait til the day where i watched them lift up the trophy.

Changed Thai Baht today. The exchange rate had dropped. But it's only a little difference, so not affecting us alot. May's coming, which means my trip is nearing. The news of Phuket receving tremors from the Earthquake from Indonesia yesterday does made me feared awhile, but i'm still looking forward to it. Phuket, here i come!!

Random

I feel that i haven't blog enough tonight. There's still stuff i haven't blog down here.

Back to the topic - MSU 2007.

I seriously think it's a crisis here. There's obviously no lack of pretty girls in Singapore, but due to the prospects, lots of such girls aren't partcipating. Most girls in the compeition isn't as attractive. some even spoke English that's broken. I suppose they don't just look at the body, looks but also the brains. But it's obvious who stands out more. Right from the start, i could made a guess of who will come out top. The points she got, doesn't it tells the viewer the results already? Hmm...i was disappointed that peggy didn't get through instead, the other got into the top 3.

PS: XiaXue looked fat when she posed the question to the contestant. Waha!

I somehow regretted buying A-cash for my maple. Purpose for buying is to gain twice the experience. But i'm having difficulties finding people to train with me. I've been dying non stop and always stuck within those few %. I'm so frustrated. Haiz...i'm starting to hate this game. Yes, some of you are going to smile upon seeing this, go ahead, hopefully it will come true some day isn't it? Haa, i hope so too..

I seriously want a Digital Camera. I've always wanted to take out pictures, capturing those good moments with my loved ones. Espcially special occasion whereby it's specially meaningful. Ever since that fateful day where i lost my digital camera, i've been feeling kind of sad. Always asking myself how did it even got lost whenever something like that struck my mind. I want a Digital Camera..I'll save up after my trip. I'll get it..someday!

Mum has been telling me how good my PSP is. Being able to play video, music, games and even surf the net and watch tv, she can only say it's a right choice that i bought it. But the games i go for are quite limited. There's isn't really much genre of games i would play. So i can actually use it for lotsa of other stuff.

I'm now transferring all my photos that's inside my hard disk drive into the web. Yahoo web hosting seems a nice place to store my photos. The easy upload tool really saves me alot of time. It quite user friendly too. Someday i'll go clear my laptop and computer. Have been toggling between the two recently. Computer for the downloading of games whereas i use my laptop more for games and design stuff.

Recently, i'm hooked of songs by Relient K. Guys who are interested in rock music, get their songs from me. I got a whole chunk of their collection of songs. Blah blah blah....

Random

Let's start from Sunday - my guard duty. It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I've finally learnt how to pass weekend guard duty the easier and relaxed way. A few vcds/dvds, newspaper, magazine and food will do the trick. Rented 'A night at the museum' and 'Protege'. Both shows make my money worth spending.

Was totally shagged on monday but luckily, my boss's away at Germany till Thursday. I'll be free all the way. Shiok..

Pay finally came. First time i took pay so late, it's like around a month after i worked, then the pay came in. Nevertheless, it's always late than never. I miss my Dear over the past few days. Especially during guard duty. I'll never forget how she helped me passed my time when i'm in that 'prison'. She doesn't realised how much it meant to me when there's her when i'm having guard duty. If she did, things would probably be much much different and better. But still, she did made me feel better.

I suddenly feel so loved. We didn't argued as often as before. We were so loving recently, maybe it's before the air is cleared. We're just waiting for our first year anniversary and holiday now. May will be a great month for us, and yes i'm very sure it will be.

Made a new blog for Dear, something that resemble mine. I've been constantly working on the surprise that i'm going to give for my Dear this coming 1st year anniversary. Hearng the experiences from my friend did helped me. Hmm...seems like thing's going on very well for me.

My PSP is flashed V3.30! I'm soo happy. No more having to off my psp just to change game. No more facing plain theme background, instead, it's the picture of me and my dear. =)
I'll be downloading more games for my dear.

New BlogSkin

Finally, i've changed my blogskin. After so many attempts to change it, i've finally overcome my laziness and convinced myself to create a whole new look my blog.

Reason for that picture on top: A special meaning just for me and my dear.

Had a wonderful Dim Sum over at Red Star restaurant along with my working colleagues, a lunch treated by a female captain at my office. First time i went out with my colleagues. Actually nothing much..back to the food. That restaurant looks familiar to me but i just can't recalled anything about it.

Tml's guard duty again. I hate Sundays guard duty. All because the next day is a working day. I'll have to bear that uncomfort and lotsa stuff. I rented 2 shoes, brought one magazine, brought 2 tidbits and a waffle to past a boring day tomorrow. Wonder will tomorrow be a smooth and peaceful day for me...haiz!!

NA

So much has brought us till today. Not easy to let you go..always easier said than done. I'm sill loving you, more and more. Fate brought us together, love carried us on...Happy Eleventh Month Anniversary Mrs Dear! Muacks!

Corporal at last! / Disrespectful Bro

Got my 1st coporal pay! That little amount mean alot, especially to NSF. Plus, i was even happier when it was announced that NSF pay will increase by 50 bucks in july this year. Wah shiok, which means in a few months time, i'll be getting XXX bucks? Woot!

Another good news to share. Man Utd got through to the FA cup final with a whopping 4-1 win over Watford. Possibly facing all time rival, Chelsea. hmm...there's too much rivalry going on in between these two teams now. In champions league, in english league and now in FA cup. But there's a worrying issue, i truly wish Man Utd could hold that trophy in the final. It's been a long time since i had the feeling watching Man Utd crowned champions. The injury list is going and worrying. but i'm sure, everything will be overcome.

I have this nuts brother. His temper has really gotton over him. He talked to our parents with dissrespect. Yes, i didn't helped him with the overseas call thingy, but yet, he should have understood. What on earth do i know what's he's talking about. I know nuts about such things. Furthermore, if he knows, send me some website or procrdure that i could see or follow.
Instead, he blast my dad off, making my dad feel so angry and pissed. Dad says, this kind of son is disappointing. If in future, temper is still not curbed, the one to suffer got to be he himself. I don't know what to say. He really has a super bad temper and disrespect. He thinks he can get past everything just by blaming me. Fat Hope dude..He already gotton himself hot on heels. Dad's will surely be giving him a chop once he's back...disappointing...haiz..

haiz, i dread of the word guard duty. I'm like doing one duty almost every week. Even my mum ask why? I'm sick of the thought. Even worse is that there's stupid idiot who's planning my duty. He's simply just a blur cock. Nex month, i shall strike off alot of day for personal commitments. He better give me a decent date. Dammit..

Army Daze

I literally spend my whole day rotting in the office, doing nothing but surfing MinDef forums and chatting with my online maple friends. The good thing about my vocation is that i only follow orders from my direct superior, who happens to be one of the best guy on earth. He does almost everything by himself, leaving his personal asisstant, ME, with nothing much to do. I'm going to be spilt by him..*Choo...*

Guess what i saw today. A monkey. Not an ordinary one..it's one with its intestines coming out from the left part of his body. I feel from it. From what i heard, this monkey was fighting with another bunch of monkeys and got its stomach ripped off, leaving his intestines to hang out of this body. It's disgusting..Puke Puke..It appears to be limping, wondering if he could survive past today.

Made a pact with Dear regarding our 1st year anniversary presents. Hee..We made a list of what each other wants and choose from there. Hmm..i sort of know what to get for her already, and of cause without fail, there will be extra surpriese for her. Just you wait Mrs Dear.!! And also, our trip is confirmed!! We got our air tickets and hotel rooms already! When is 24th May coming?!?!?! I can't wait u know!!!

Going to get my Coporal pay tml!! Woot..1st increment of pay! So happy..i can smell the scent of money!! *Sniff sniff*

Random

Where's the promise we hold? Never did we try. I'm not sure. When 'Fishball' told me his trip to Malaysia with his girlfriend, i was only full of envy, nothing else. From a point of time whereby he told me his relationship with his girlfriend..from how egoistic his girlfriend is to how much time he had with her only per week...all the way til the day he's back to Singapore from the short holiday with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's family. He has grown to think that he can last with his girlfriend. I used to hear 'i don't think we can last, i don't have feeling that we can last'..until today, he told me 'the feeling of us being able to last is here'. As much as how Da Nu Ren his girlfriend is, there's certain thing they are able to resolve. I'm so envious.

After that judgment day, i held heart to heart talks, all for the better. Accomodation and understanding is all we agreed on, along with some promises. Til today, none of us to able to fulfill it. Somehow, i'm feeling the opposite with 'Fishball'. Not that i feel we can't last, it's just that the feeling of being able to last is not there. Partly due to me..Sadly..

Loving you..but i can't give you my everything

Yet what i can give is not what you ask for..

Neither one of us want to admit defeat

Many times, i just want to hug you close..

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Work sux today..It's bored. Plus that trip to medical centre. It's so confusing. You can make two parties happy. First, i got a letter which excuses me from over exposure to direct sunlight, which in turn is used to excuse myself from range. But it's not approved by my colleagues. Yet, my office warrant office buy my story and excused me. Today, i went to explain to the medical officer, yet, i didn't get a specific letter. Sian..I predict work will be sucky for the next week days or weeks to come. Guard duty tml..Boohoo

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Interesting news: Our Singaporean very own singlish word 'kiasu' is officially a regconised english word. It made it to the Oxford English Dictionary, along with the word, 'wiki'. Congrats to another singlish word turned english word.

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Monokuro Boo...(Dedicate it to my Dear)

'Boo' 'Love?' 'Enjoy?' 'Happy!'

A hidden message from the four words above. A message Monokuro Boo wanted to send across. It goes like this..

We live in a very complex world and have various stresses from everyday life, but we sometimes need to move away from the real world and think things simply. Therefore, Monokuro boo is here to heal you, who are tired of the real outside world.

Monokuro boo is a attractive couple, even though we don't know whether they have thick heads or they are sullen. They love each other so much!!

Monokuro Boo is based on the concept 'Simple and Convenient'. They are a symbol of happiness and love..

Random

Music - No one today can resist the beauty of music. Be it any genre..Rock, pop, classical, jazz etc etc..I used to have a huge collection of songs. I can still remember how i once fall in love with pop all the way until i got influenced to the swanky tunes of techno and eventually to getting addicted by the power of rock music. After i got together with dear, the route of music path to my ears changed, not very big but just abit. I was made to love chinese pop, rock..basically just chinese songs. Til now, my 'rock' passion is fading. Due to the lack of guitar practice. Anyway, music rocks my ears, world and life. BUT!!! My collection music is gone mostly. After this damn laptop met up with an accident, most songs i loved or used to loved are gone, til now, still unable to sastify the hunger of my ears. I have to re-collect them again. It's going to take a long time before i make up the list..

Have been reading up the Mindef forum at work. I've been rather slack. I've this boss that doesn't really treat my as his personal assistant. He asked other colleague of mine things that he's supposed to ask me. Well, i don't really care anyway. Back to my topic on the forum, there's still forum on Relationships. Inside, you could see people posting about their relationship. Mainly trouble people met in their relationship. My curosity proved to be of good intention and i must say i realised quite a few things about myself. I'm definitely the best boyfriend that dear can have but i can be good. I won't be perfect, but i'll be good. I'm learning everyday.

All that forum-ing has inspired me. I've thought of things i never think before. I even had an idea of what to get from my Dear when our 1st year anniversary comes.

By the way, Dear was nice to accompany me to watch TMNT. It's a very nice movie. From childhood till now. Even though i've lost touch with the turtles for ages, but the movie just got my out of my seat. The feeling of being a child just came back. Nice movie with a few funny scenes but the turtles looks abit skinny..making them look abit weird..

Another good news. Finally, Don's able to go holiday with me! I'm was glad enough to be able to go on holiday with dear once again. Just when we thought we couldn't get anybody to go to the trip with us, Don called. He made it. When it was told that only 2 seats were left, i have this fear that he couldnt make it, but luckily, he did. Now i shall wait eagerly for my leave to approved and i'll just look forward to that trip.

Life's a Highway or Rollercoaster

Life's not a highway. Isn't like that that movie said. Life should be like a rollercoaster. Full of ups and down. It makes your hearts popped out, having a twinking aching on your heart each time u fall from the peak. It gets you excited and thrilled each from you move up from below. That's all the same for life. You feel hurt/disappointment etc..when you are pushed down from the top and it gets you motivated and happy each time you realised you are steadily moving up.

Never doubt me. Cos that will sets a difference between a fine thin line of what i deemed as. I hate things i do gone down the drain just like that. Never show what i've done is not appreciated, for that will stop me from continue doing them. Never say out what would swept all away. 'm constantly reflecting on myself but don't push me. Each time my heart is scarred, it takes time to heal, i'll termed is as the cold down period.

I've really been heeding advices and constantly learning. All i need is time, it might take long, but i just need it. Sometimes, a slap or two will wake me up.

Holiday plan's almost ruined. Now it's all dependent on Donna. I can't imagine a trip that's near 2 months away can be fully booked. Well, maybe it's partly due to the school holiday season. I really wished to go for a break. Break from everything, just me and my loved one, along with my friend. No worries, no commitments, no anything!!

Random

Exactly one week since i last blogged. Has been busy all week - guard duty, work, late night movie and simply just plain tired.

I got a scare of my life when i received rumours that they might increase my guard duty to 5-6 times per month, with 2 being weekend. But luckily, it all turns out to be false alarm. Phew, i got 3 guard duty for the month of april - one weekend and two weekdays. Which means more days to spend for myself, most prob with my Dear.

I feel so bad today, and most prob tml too. I'm working today and tml..i took up the job all because i need it. I really do see the need. It's been a long time since i'm earning that decent amount of salary. Luckily, she understands..but she still misses me as much as i do. What happens yesterday will allow the slightest thing sparks a big happening.

Sorry for everything yesterday Mrs.Dear. Everything is like a stranger to me now. Maybe it's being scarred now. At the moment i mean. Time will heal, it's just a matter of time. I'm nt sure how things will turn out in future (hopefully just like before). Your heart is still with me, it has always been here, it's still there and will be there as always. I'll do what i promised you, i'llk try my very best. Same for u too..

I've been receiving pranks sms recently. This stupid irritating idiot's sending stupid sms-es. Police report is just a mile away. Just one more sms and he/she's gone. I've been through all this before, i know what's it's going to be like. I may not know the number, i may not be able to know who...but i'm very sure, once the police intervene it, all will be out. Til then, that person better count his/her days now..

Hasn't been mapling recently. I'm lagging behind, very seriously..As for my psp, it's doing very well and fine. Started playing more games, started downloading more games as well. Another good news, my laptop is finally back to my arms. So happy to own two workstations again. It's soo convenient..

Too tired to proceed any further...ZZzz

Random

Mood was a high today. Rather since yesterday. It's like i've did something which i've never done since ages ago. Yes! Hanging out with Dear. Always cooping at home during weekend will make my heart sink. What's weekend without walking out in the hot sun, along the buzzling streets.

Kicked off yesterday at kBox. It's always our 10th month together. Time flies..So much been through. We don't need to be seperated to know how much we meant to each other. Isn't it Mrs Dear? I just realised kBox has quite a few nice english songs to sing too. But most are original singers with some dumb pictures..Imagine u singing a rock song, but all u see on the screen is those loving 80s Music videos..Gosh..don't match at all..

Celebrated JieWan birthday way in advance too. Popped her an unexpected surprise. Haa..1st time i see her short hairstyle and also her bubbly self after so many months..Hearing her experience as a teacher in school, i was thinking to myself, being a teacher isn't that bad a career. She seems happy with teaching. I can just imagine different sorts of people being a teacher. Example myself, dear, my bro etc etc..haa..it can be quite funny..

And YES! Finally took our NeoPrint after so many months. I've always love taking photos with Dear. Keeping it as a good memories. Esp, yesterday, which's also a special occasion for us. She also got her long awaited 'ShiLin fried chicken cutlet". Haa..

At orchard that place, u can also find cheap dinner. Far East Plaza has one!! The Sakura Restuarant has nice food, their food is as cheap as $3.5. Well, not that expensive for a meal at orchard huh..

Warming and heartening. That's exactly how i'm feeling. Love drowned me. My arms has her in the morning. Hee, her revision class has finally started. Hopefully, she's really trying to work towards her target and study hard..

Random

Just when i was about to blog about happy thing, i received a bad news. She accepted the tuition. Well, i have to respect that decision. I won't challenge it. Right now, it doesn't really matter. There's so much i wan to made known what the consequences might be, but i failed to put it across. It's only 24 hours per day, to some it may seem long..but to certain people, it's not enough, not even when u put 48 hours into a day. I won't say much, cos i know it's not going to change anything. I'll just hope everything will turn out fine in future. I see lots of complications, challenges and implications ahead upon receiving the sms, but i'll just prayed nothing will happen.

Learning how to say NO. To many, it's still a problem. It has to do with your character, strongly. Some get influenced easily, some don't. Some sympathised and pitied other easily, some don't. So the word NO naturally seems hard to come by for the latter one. Learning how to say NO is important. It saves you from regretting your choice of not saying NO. Think of it this way, short term pain/suffering is better than a long term one. So learn how to say NO and save yourself from suffering. If not, just pray.

Finally, a sign of relief. My laptop has been sent for servicing. Today rain was heavy. It almost vlew my umbrella into a upward cone shape. I'm basically fighting against the wind rather than the rain. Just when i managed to win the fight, this big bus came from the side and past by me. My lower part of my body was splashed by the water. Gosh!!! Soaked Chicken you may call me.

HP service center is certainly cool. This is the 1st time i've seen a service center that really went to the extent of serving people. That place not only offers u food, drink, comfortable seat but also the usage of their computers. Own time own target. So cool, it's makes u forget that u were in a queue. Cool huh..

My visit to the medical centre today was a pleasant one. The wait wasn't long. I'm trying to get range excused. Instead, the medical officer gave me an excuse of over-exposure of sunlight based on the medication i consumed. Indirectly, i'm excused from range..BUT BUT BUT...it's only for a month..

Tml's Man Utd match against UEFA 1st 11. I intend to watch, how i wish i could really wake up. Hmm..let's hope i'm able to wake up to watch..Meanwhile, i shall continue to download my PSP games..Mentioning about PSP, i managed to get my PSP to emulate to Version 3.03. Still, i'm trying to make sure it can emulate to the latest version - Version 3.11. If anyone knows how, please enlighten me!!

Blog Relocated

I've decided. It's time i breathe new air. So that'll be all.

Blog relocated..

Good Time Pals!

Double Blow - PSP and Laptop. It's been days since i bought my PSP, still, i hasn't started playing. I know nuts about it. When i bought it and reach home, opened up the package and i'm just simply staring at the psp. It knows me, but i don't know it. I had no idea how to go about starting the PSP, installing software in it etc etc..

Luckily, i had friends who saved my day. The latest version of hacks failed on me, i had no choice but to demote it to the previous version. Worse of all, my Laptop DIED ON ME - All thanks to my impulsive action. I should have wait til it load the page where i could just select shut down. But i didn't. I conveniently reach my finger to the power button and simply just shut it off! Consequences: Laptop could not load windows. Gosh..i'm doomed. I didn't submit the warranty card for this laptop, i lost the warranty card and it seems everything is gone. All i could do now is pray.

Catched 300 yesterday with Don, Gan and Mun. A nice show but abit not realistic. I realised there's alot of nice movies coming up. Up 1st : Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles! Woot! I must catch that movie. Followed up by Transformers, Spiderman 3, Fantastic 4 (2). Cool..All those childhood superheros are coming to the big screen.

1st week of April - i'm going to have a jamming session with my friends. I feel kinda guilty for not playing my guitar regularly. Too many things to occupied myself with. But it's just 3 songs, i shouldn't complained. I'll just perfect these 3 songs that we're going to Jam. Rock on Dudes.!

PSP At Last

Finally, i bought my PSP!! Silver in colour. Looks cool..I realised there's so much i need to know about it before i can really enjoy it. The software, firmware, settings etc etc..Though it made a big hole in my wallet, but i suppose it worth the money. Its functions made me WOW. I can't wait to play my very 1st game in my PSP. Tml, i'm going to get all the games possible from Donna!!

Dear bought my this horoscope keychain. I loved it, it can record voice message for 12 seconds maximum. An cute ox with the voice recorded by my Dear. Hehe, i loved it..Thanks Dear..

I'm been quite demoralised on how i might have to change my guard duty. I don't want to stand guard at sentry. I don't to be in a situation where i have to carry my rifle and stand there like a big boulder for 2 hours. Stand 2 hours, rest 4 hours, continue this cycle for 3 times. Gosh..If weekend, this cycle will have to be done 6 times, whole 24 hours. Something has to be done.

I'm glad my maple is doing well. This major patch has been quite a trouble for me. I want to reach 4th job level as soon as possible. Can't wait..!!

Strike TOTO

Sianz..i'm going to serve my weekend guard duty again..The thought of being 'locked up' in that stupid camp just turns me off..my guard duty frequency increase this moh - from the usual 2 to 3. Haiz..i hate to do guard duty when the next day is a working day. I feel super uncomfortablr for not bring able to bathe in comfort and sleep in a nice bed (Tthe bed in my guardroom is yellow with stains and dirt spots). Imagine sleeping in that kind of environment. My guardroom is even worse. I can see spider webs all around and big fat lizards making that damn irritating voice..

A nice weekend to be spent inside that damn place in indeed demoralising for me. My morale for work on monday will be super low i reckon.

I should have known better. What have become of me..i so sorry for what i have done, yet i do not realised it in the nick of the time..so sorry dear. Thanks for being so forgiving..it's nice to have you with me, how i wish my tml will be spent with you..but got that damn guard duty..Time's really wasted today, hopefully, i'll have a better weekend next week.

Work has been rather smooth recently..i've been wanting to buy a PSP but i'm still trying to save just enough..There's still alot i should know abt it before i really buy it..i'll do more survey..people who owns a psp, please tell me more!!

Oh ya!! I strike TOTO yesterday. Yea..2nd time in my life. But, only 4 numbers striked. It's already an achievement cos it ain't easy striking 4 numbers - 5,6,17,35. My lucky numbers..i can only say i owe it to my Dear, becos all numbers has to do with her<..except for 35..

Got to think how am i going to spend tml..haiz...

Random

I find myself blogging less frequently as before. Simply because i has lost the mood in blogging. The enthusiasm in blogging in no longer around. It's hard to blog about your life, or what u have to say when u know there's actually people out there reading your blog not because they want to know how i've been up to but just reading so that they have something to gossip in, more to talk about. It's irritating yet so unpredictable to deal with such people.

I've thought of changing my blog add, til now yes i still have the intention, but circumstances don't allow me to do that. I'm having restrictions in blogging in my OWN blog. It's sounds funny, even absurd but that's how things are now..

CNY - As i grow older, CNY gets more and more boring. Nothing ever interests me..not those goodies or red packets(er, maybe yes), it's more like looking forward to gathering with people whom i'm seldom in contact with. But surprisingly, i've been gambling quite alot this year.

Friday is finally here. Though how much i said i'm finally free after my brother's gone, deep down, i actually missed him. Haa...i can't believe it. But whatever it is, he's still my bro. And lucky him and he should be honoured that i actually took a day leave to send me off. Woke up early and reached the airport. Now comes the funny part, in my whole life, i've never heard anyone who doesn't know which airline or flight he's taking until that very last hour. Yes, that's until my bro. Gosh..we actually went to the wrong terminal cos he though he's taking Tiger Airways til his friend called him up and give a big knock on his dummy head. So we had to rushed to Teminal 1 to take his AirAsia flight. Luckily, everything still goes on well.

And so, off he goes..it'll be another 3 and a half months before my family can see him again. So for this 3 and a half months, i'll be watching soccer matches alone, play my games alone, even talk to myself. Pathetic...bet he feel the same ways, hopefully he does, then he'll know how important we are. Hope by the time he's back, he'll treat my mum better. Even me too..haa

That night was shiok, went gambling with Dear's cousin and watched movie. It's the 1st time i went out with Dear til so late. Err, with her cousin as well of cos. I watched Norbit for the 2nd time. Not that it's a very very fantastic movie, but it's funny. Moreover, i promised to watch with her. I've yet to watch Protege!! I'm going to catch it next weekend.

Yesterday was boring. Seeing her doing last minute studying makes me abit worried. Haiz..if only...Feel so empty not meeting her yesterday. Donna and Gav paid a visit to my family yesterday. Finally, we betted again. Wahaha...Stupid Jon found a new close friend that gave him the choice to give us up. Better not let me see him or he's DEAD!!

After the house visit, it's mahjong time at Don's house. Woot..we had a feast before we started our session. Mutton curry, Chicken curry, Vegetable curry, Fishcurry, Briyani Rice, KFC was on spread on the table. Haa, of cos, we didn't managed to finish, I've this thing against curry. It's either very nice or it just sucks big time. I can't stand mutton..Ewww!!! It just makes me feel like vomitting..

I was on a winning streak playing mahjong yesterday. I supposed we played around 20++ rounds yesterday. Hee, 1st time in my life i did so well in mahjong.

And oh yea, i baked my very 1st cake today. Wasn't that fantastic but good enough for a 1st timer. As compared to baking, i still prefer cooking. Hmm.speaking of cooking, it's been a long time. Secret recipe guys?

Sick Thoroughly

So many things happen within this few days..There's Chinese New Year Preparation, Valentine Day, 9th month Anniversary with my Dear and also, both of us fell sick..

This whole week, i only went to work once. Monday was gladly an off day for me. I managed to skipped the event held by my camp (phew!). I'm so lucky to have my guard duty on sunday. But sadly, Tuesday was a working day for me, so i didn't really look forward to anything. Whole day was so meaningless. Just watching the time pass just like that..

Tuesday was much more better. Alot of stupid things happen. It's as if i haven't been to work for a long time. But still i went for the run. A run organised to ensure we soldiers have a healthy lifestyle. 3km - 16 mins plus...hmm..nt sure if that timing is good but sure i'm not bad cos most people are still behind me when i cross the finishing line. =) i'm just waiting for Wednesday to come. I've look forward to it since ages ago...just my off work time was delayed due to some preparation for the inspection tml!! ARGH!!

Finally, wednesday came. Many emotions involved..but i'm not going to talk this day.

Thursday - Sick. Went to the doctor, he said i've got food poisioning. I was running to toilet every now and then the night before - vommiting and bombing the toilet. Dear was sweet enough to come and take care of me despite her being sick herself. I was feeling so much better. Love's the medicine...but something still irks me until now.my eye....the red patch on my eyeball is still there, and dun seems to be fading. I don't know what to do with it. It makes my eye look so vulnerable. But the problem is, i can see perfectly. Just hope it will be back to normal in no time..

The red patch on my left eye

By the time friday comes, i'm already all well. Went around doing last minute shopping for New Year stuff with Dear. I realised while doing the shopping that all those goodies don't really seems of any interest to me anymore. In fact, Chinese New Year isn't a festive season to me. It's just a plain holiday where i don't need to report to work. Nothing much to look forward to. It's just more eating, more meeting of people that's all..Plain...

Just had my Reunion lunch. Yes, my family has this trend of eating reunion lunch and dinner. Of cos, it's steamboat. I've always loved steamboat until Wednesday that i presumed it's the steamboat that made me have food poisoning..But nevertheless, steamboat at home was not bad. It's been so long since i eat with my family...nice feeling..it shall be like that again tonight..chaoz...

Congrats Don

I miss my dear dear so much..even though tml hasn't even started. The thought of tml being stucked inside the camp makes me feel to rejected. I feel so negative towards guard duty. Miss u!!

Oh ya, grats don for passing his theory test..

Random

Heart pierced. Yes, what u said might be true..but it just came as thousands of bows and arrows aiming towards me. U leave me with no space of defending myself. U don't care how i'm going to feel when those bows and arrows were shooted at me. All you want is to get your point clear to me.

Well, clear enough. I'm just asking for a treat from you, cos i have no money left. But u relate it back to the lunch incident. Now i know..and rest assured, i won't ask a single treat from you. At least it won't complicate things and create misunderstandings. U calculated how much i've owe u. U remember clearly the times where u helped me finiancially, but u well forogtten the times i helped u when u were having finiance difficulty. Never mind, i'll return you what i owed to prevent being bombed again. Now i know who to go to when i really need help in terms of finiancially.

Sorry for what i've done wrong. Sorry..

Dear's sick today. Hope she really get well soon. I don't know if i passed her the virus but no matter what, trust me i'm really worried.

Miss u..

Sick..Sick...and still Sick

Finally i'm all well..Been sick for the past few days. I think i'm the record holder for taking the most number of MCs since the start of this year. Everyone must be thinking how i have been chao-keng my way since i'm posted there.

My whole life has been haunted by sickness. Asthma, Grastric or Fever u name it. This 3 are my worst enemies. Each time any one of this hits me, i'll be in great torture and suffering my way til i'm well. If i'm lucky, just a few days will do, if worst, it will be months. I still remember very clearly, the worst asthma attack i had and how long it took me to cure. A pathetic, torturing 10 months. That's also how i got my PES C9 status.

It's hard to have a good body. I'm not one who can take good care of myself well, although more often than not, i've been telling myself, it's time i really should. Though i didn't succeed each time round, i'm glad to those who took care of me. My mum especially. Ever since i was born, i'm always sick. She has been the only one who has been taking great care of me while i'm sick, even until now. So i'll say thank and love u mummy! Thanks to my dad during my later part of my life where he realise his care for me is important. But surely no thanks to that brother of mine. He'll just pretend as though nothing happen. Now there's always an extra care from my Dear. This care allows me to heal faster. Haa..true enough..

I've prepared the materials. So it's time to start work..soon..hopefully i'll be able to succeed.

Gosh..i've been exploring around so many times..i managed to fight powerful mobs. Just yesterday, i levelled up. I declared myself level 91. I visited Pianus right after that and before i even see his head for more than 3 secs, i'm dead. So didn't managed to take a screenshot while i'm still alive. I need mesos. There has been so many people who's crazy over gachapon. Gacha-ing and then sell of those items, earning them millions of mesos. That was my intented solution to solve my mesos woes but i decided that it's not that worth it after all. I shall earn it the hard way. I've yet to hunt my 1st steely in my whole maple life. And i vowed to get it! At aLL cost!!!

Miss my dear already...chaoz....

Random

Gosh!!!! I slept sooo late last night. I had less than 4 hours of sleep. I turned in at 2am..but after some tossing here and there, i think i manage to doze off at around 2:30am..And i woke up freaking early - 5:45am..Woke up feeling very restless, like a living dead..But no choice, have to report to work..well, that's life

I'm very disturbed at the fact that the toilet bowl in my kitchen is leaking water. Nothing is done too..maybe not yet. I can't stand the fact that the water is just leaking down freely..it's as if throwing coins down the pipe. I feel a little bit heartache (Although i'm not the one paying the utilities bill). What makes the matter worse is that, my mum actually forget the off the showerhead just now and the showerhead was turned on at FULL blast..at the very least, for an hour. Gosh, that's throwing piles of notes down the pipe. I suddenly feel so scared. This month utilities bill is going to be a huge sum. Hopefully, dad will be able to handle the amount. Haiz..the bad thing about this house is that everywhere seems to be leaking water - my kitchen tap, toilet bowl, showerhead..arghh....i always have to make it a point to ensure the water leakage are at their minimum before i turned in for the day (cos i'm the last one to sleep).

Dear was sad. Reason i won't say it down here, cos some people reading my blog just don't deserve to know. I just want to tell you, u are not the only one feeling sad, i am sad too, so are ur parents. But no matter what happen, umust always learn from it, heed advices. Don't always think that i'm stressing you. I'm just trying to help you. You know yourself better than no one else. U need to be pushed..You may say, your parents don't force you, that's simply becos they don't know how u are doing, but i know. Cos i'm the only one u've been telling things to.

Tml my camp start this healthy lifestyle event. It held every tuesday and friday. But luckily for me, i'm excused running..so i supposed i'll just walk 3km..that's abit dumb but a good way to past time.

My maple has been doing well so far. 30 more level to go and i'm all ready for 4th job. Oh ya, and Man Utd won 4-0 against Tottenham last night. It's so cool. O'Shea even became the Goalkeeper after Edwin Van Der Sar was injured in the last 5 mins..haa...1st time ever...

Jia you Dear...Love you..Muacks!

Unpleasant HairCut

Went for a hair cut on Saturday. It's a visit to Dear's favourite saloon. I've never waited so long for just a haircut in my life. This neighbourhood saloon although it small, the number of patrons visiting it is far much more than those exclusive saloon. My haircut was also much faster as compared to the '10 mins hair cut'. Like my current hairstyle. Paid a few bucks more due to the little increment cos of the Chinese New Year season.

1st time on an outing with Fishball. Motive: To shop for Valentine's Day present. Quite enjoyable to go out with him. Went to several place. Even played pool. Taught him how to play pool, i feel as though i'm some professional. But poor him, his back got worse after playing pool. Sorry dude..Suntec was our shopping spot. We thought we can have lots of options there. Who knows, we went shops after shops..eventually, we chose to go Marina Square instead. Over there, the shops are much, and that explains the variety too. But still, we couldn't find much options. *secret for now*

Recently has been eating too much fastfood. I suppose that explains why my face is facing so much problems now. I hope the dry period will go off soon. I shall constraint myself for a few days.

Not in a good blogging mood now...tml shall blog more..

NA

I thought i wun have to envy people again. I though i'll be able to spend that day the way that i've been dreaming ever since i was in a sec sch student. I envy people and always wondering when would be my turn. Months ago, i have so much on my mind about that day. I've always been looking forward to it. For finally, for once, my wish is going to come true. But now, everything has changed. I'm following the norm. I'm not going to fulfill my wish. It's the 1st time that's special to me.

What was said make me so useless. Yet again this year, i could only have the share of envying people again. I said before, if only one could be happy, i rather it be her. So everything shall go according to her wish. I dunno whether it will be a happy day for me, but i'll try. But at least for now, i'm sad, i'm disappointed. She meant well, i knew it. But that's really not what i want.

She has been telling what she expects from that day. I got that in my head and also planned. I been wanting to make a huge surprise. For all that express how far i would go just to make that day a special for both of us. Even to the extent of taking half day leave.

But it seems everything is pointless. The things that i have been thinking for the past few days especially, all are unnecessary. All gone down the drain. I won't pursue this matter any loner. For it's going to be endless. This time round, i have no choice. A day that's supposed to make both happy could only make one happy. It might even not let both be happy on that day.

How i really wish that day never come. I don't look forward to it anymore. I don't want that day to come. I shall cancelled my leave. I'll do what i promised...

Random

Guard Duty on Tuesday was alright. It seems like i'm starting to accept the fact that i have to do at least 2 guard duties per month. Seriously speaking, i'll have to consider myself lucky enough to do Guard Duty at School of Ammunition. Where on earth can u get KFC delivered to your guard house. Where on earth can u watch hours of tv while doing guard duty. Where on earth can u get duties that only require u to prowl even less than 5 mins. All only at SOA. Haa..But the after effect of guard duty is that super exhaustion on my body. It just makes me feel so restless, as though my body is splitting apart. The comfort at home has made my body unable to adapt to our harsh environment.

Received news about that happen to sis. Take care sis..don't get too upset.

V.Day. A day that's considered special to me. I've made plans. No point changing it. I won't. I know i'll be happy on that day..i know u will be happy on that day too.

I utterly disappointed. Ive never imagined that. If you are going to do something behind your partner back, i suggest u don't do it. By doing it, u'll lose that trust that u've gained over the months. Breaking up should not be hanging on your month without much thought. And worse, u don't be with the person just because the person wants to. It's super unfair. Haven't u even thought about the happy memories before? Haven't u know how much u have gone through til today? Is what u did right or ok? Think for yourself...

I was on a bus just now. I notice a new trend of tapping EZ-Link card by lazy people. I saw this uncle, with his card on his cheat pocket, he conveniently bend down and puts his chest in front of the tapping machine and 'beep', off goes the sound. The gesture and position that uncle is in, it just makes himself look like a fool. His actions is considered funny though..nice way of tapping your EZ-Link card.

Singapore won Thailand 2-1 on the 1st leg. It's seriously unbelievable. Even til now, i strongly believe Singapore wont have the ability to beat Thailand. All by luck. Look at the line-up. How many players were imported. Somehow, they were similar to Chelsea. Using money to attract talents, tobring this 'fake' fame for Singapore.

Man utd won Watford 4-0. A big thrashing. 6 points away from Chelsea. Good. I shall wait for the day where Man Utd clinched the title. I'm waiting...

Random

ARrgh..i failed to exercise again. On both occasions..But it's ok...i didn't eat too much unhealthy food recently. I have been consuming this supplement to maintain and control my cholestrol level, making sure it's of healthy level.

Great news from the NSC on friday. Doctor says i'm recovering well. I'm sooo happy. 6 more weeks and i'll be able to stop the medication for long. Shiok..after nearly 6-7 months of consumption, i can finally stop. No more worrying of forgetting to medicate, no more forcing myself to eat just to eat that medicine. Yay...the scars will take time to heal. Very very long time, but i'm sure the wait is worth it.

Missed the outing to Chinatown on Saturday. All because of two sleepyheads. Gosh..haa..it's ok..Dear and i had plans to make it on this coming sunday. Had planned to make a trip to Starhub Plaza Singapura to get my mobile phone mms fixed. Dammit..my mobile phone has been without MMS settings for months, I just can't seem to get the settings from anywhere - be it online, through the customer care consultant or manually. I'm so fed up. So much so that i've decided to bring that mobile phone personally down to the Starhub to get them fixed for me. And of cause, i didn't cos of my beauty sleep.

I wanted to teach tuition. Til now, i hasn't get anything started. Dear's going to help me. That extra income will do me great. Given the situation i'm in now, it isn't such a bad idea to tutor afterall. Anyway, i can go home after work almost everyday, except for special case such as guard duty. So i was thinking, y not. Dear supported me too...so do my parents.

As for the business that i'm doing, i have really no choice but to give up. Seriously speaking, i realise that it's just not my cup of tea, I'm not cut out to do such a thing. I tried, even though i didn't give my best. Sometimes, certain thing u don't have to give ur fullest to realise that u are not able to do it. It's too much a burden to me finiancially. I should have listened to Dear earlier, then i won't have to suffer.

My maple slowing down, but luckily, i found this new place to train. A nice place, where all the super pros partying me. Suddenly, i felt as though my character has been upgraded. I can't wait to reach 3 digits level. Here i come...

Tml's guard duty. As usual, it will set my morale to low automatically the night before, all the way until i finish work the day after my guard duty. I can't wait for Wednesday to come, that's when i can see my Dear. I know i'll miss her..so does she. What happened today is plain fear. But that fear was silenced off by your assurance. Thanks Dear...let's look forward to what we just talked about ard 1 hour ago. 4 years isn't too far..it's possible.

K la, i gonna visit my Sweetheart is Dreamland now....

NA

I don't know..but i just feel so bad..

I just knew that was going to happen. That laptop WILL NOT be used. Expected. U asked me to trust u one last time. I did...u broke it. I expected the reason for not using it. I sensed that strong unhappiness that u know i'm out. Haiz..u didn't even bothered to give me a call that i've been waiting.

I won't dare to do it again. NEVER.

Debit Card!!

So many happy things happen within these few days. Firstly, i finally got my Debit Card. The feeling of being able to possess a debit card again is just great. Though my previous experience with my very 1st Debit card wasn't really a good one, but the convenience of having once just makes me feel having after i got it. I got the Capitacard. Seeing the privilleges that the card brings, i'm just glad that i got that card for myself. Finally, i can book movie tickets online, buy stuff online and have a card that has my name on it.

Woot..Yesterday i got everything i wanted for Dear. That's why it makes me especially happy. I'm seriously contented. We have been through alot and til now, i'm dare to say, what's bad is past..what's good is memories. We've overcome lots of obstacles and we shall look forward to the future. Today, there's this colleague of mine, asking me why stick to one girlfriend. He suggests i should keep my options open. Well, my reply was simply: I'll be faithful to my girlfriend. I was thinking, if i don't, then what would be love. Where would be the trust. I'm not some people who would agree to have flings around. Hiding behind their partner back just to go out with some guy or girl. One is enough..if u know u can't commit, don't enter into a relationship. Dun be selfish. I love you my Dear..my one and only.

My exercise plan is going well. I've been exercising quite regularly. Tml, Dear's going to exercise with me for the 1st time. Woot..i can't wait. Mentioning before the importance of exercising, i'm going to make sure i and Dear lead a healthy lifestyle and stay healthy.

Had a long talk with Gavian. Decided to quit what we are doing now. No point going on. We are just not cut out for it. Hmm...suddenly, i feel that the burden is off. I should have listen to my Dear. I'm relieved now. I rather spend the money on buying something better for my Dear for her Valentine's Day. Can't wait...my very 1st Valentine!!

Stress..

Oh great..i'm sick..yes..again..Counting the number of days i'm sick ever since i got into my new vocation, it can be seriously said to be dangerous. I think my immune system is getting poorer. Time for supplements and regular exercise..plus of cos, proper diet. I can't afford to be sick all the time. It makes me feel as though i'm a handicapped, a useless person.

The trauma is back. I'm traumatized. I don't know what i should really do. Should i changed my metality of how i see it now? I used to thought just it alone will be strong enough to hold on to everything. It will overcome everything. But what was said yesterday night makes me feel that, it's not just about it. There's more things that's being involved, things that i've never considered it to be one before. My mood is ultimately low. Just because of certain things, it can endanger the whole thing between u and me. Is it so vulnerable that words can cause it to be broken? Is it so simple that it doesn't deserve any respect? I don't act on impulse is unavoidable..but know what to say, what not to say. Anger words may be harsh. The one saying might not feel the same way as the one hearing it. To me, it may just be anger words..but to me, it's these words that makes me ponder - pondering what a person am i, what have things come to such state, what can be done, why those words was said. So many things to think.

My physical headache out of the sudden is being overlapped by this mental headache. I couldn' sleep. Tears don't flow from my eyes easily..if it does, it will also mean that my heart is crying. I'm not comparing to anything before. It's just that, promises made must be kept. I don't nag at a person with bad intentions. If i know i will get scolding, coldness or whatever jus because i nag, do u think i will still go ahead with the nagging. I couldn't bear to just forget abt everything and just dump everything. This way, complications won't occur but it will show that i'm not concerned. I'm sad..but i know i'm not the only one..Right now, i'm still thinking..The thought of being left alone, not being able to contact is scary. Everything is still whirling up my mind now..i can't seem to sort them out right..cos i still haven't get pass myself. Somehow, i don't know who am i, what kind of a person i am. Failure?

Business hasn't been good. Had this very thought of giving up. Anyway, support from family and friends isn't that great. I shouldn't say there isn't any at all. But there's people doing the same thing as me. I'm stil learning. I've seen people succeed in it. Some may think i'm just nt cut out for it, why waste my time..but why can't i learn. All i need is time.

My maple is doing well. But i'm going to stop playing soon. I'm always playing at the wrong timing. It just cause so much misunderstanding. I don't want what i do to be an excuse being added to what's so unnecessary. Cos it will cause all the disappointment, hurt and sadness...

Random

Weekend's coming to an end. Tml's a working day again. Back to facing some idiots at work. Sian..

Today ain't a bad day. But nevertheless, Dear and i never failed to make things back on track and we ended the day really sweet. I like my day today. Thank you Dear..and sorry too...

My character in maple seems harder to level up now. At level 86, training at coolie zombie is started to get harder. I'll start finding new maps to get my character pumping up his percentage fast. My guild is getting stronger - more stronger and active maplers. It's never too boring to play maple again..

Have been having so much talks about Chinese New Year with Dear. I think this year's Chinese New Year will be a nice one for me. There will certainly be lots of nice food, hong baos and hehe..going to spend a special holidays with Dear..Can't wait..

Meanwhile, i shall countdown to my 1st valentine day.

Random

I don't know is it that she always forget what she say or she just pretend that i have forgotton about it myself by keeping mum about it. I hope that she will treat what was said seriously and not something that bypass her ears. Treat what people gave you like your own. It hurts to see how things given to you are being treated. I hate it when what was planned was not carried out. I don't know if it's because you are lazy but it seems that i'm always the one doing the trips. Argh...can u remember?

Bought lotsa stuff yesterday. Went out with a great shopping with mum and Dear. Started the day good..but ended the day lousily. Shall update about my shopping list tonight.

My maple is doing well and fine. It's climbing up slowly and steadily. 4th job doesn't seems to far for me now. I'll be there in no time..

Importance of Exercising

Yay!! I finally started on my exercise program. The importance of exercising. I can't stress it enough. I saw a new report on tv.

A skinny or average-build human being doesn't necessary means that he or she is less prone to disease like heart disease, diabetes etc than people who are obese or heavily overweight. Yes, obese people are prone to such dieases because of their dietary habits and no or little exercise. The main point here is that diseases such as heart problems etc look for people who don't excise and not people who are skinny. Usually, heart problems, stroke and diabetes all are cause mainly by a powerful subtance called fats. And it's these fats that are located near certain organs that proved to be disastrous. Fats around our muscles aren't the main cause..it's those fats that are around our heart, kidney etc that leads to diseases and illness. For example, if we don't exercise, our heart don't pump as much, it's became so inactive that the stomach can't absorb what it can, so eventually, these fats got to the heart and form a thin layer of fats around it, blocking arteries etc..that's when heart problems and stroke occur. High cholestrol is also the high consumption of fats, which the body can't absorb and is being retained in the body. That explains that high level of cholestrol. Main point here is, EXERCISE REGULARLY.

Come 21st March 2007, i'm going to be a Coporal. Finally. That's means higher rank and most importantly, more pay. Although a mere 70 bucks increment, but it's already like a big bonus to NSF like us..yay...

Feburary come fast! There's so many things for me to anticipate. Sometimes if u really think, time makes us realise what really matters to us. Think now..

Random

I'm now at Dear's hse...she studying..me plaing my own laptop...Hee..Facing her, she look so focused in her work. Another side of her..a more serious one..Hee..on and off, she'll stick out her tongue, rub her nose, move her face around..haa..cute dear!

It's been 3 days since Sis's bf enlist. She has been missing him as expected. It all brings me back to those days where i'm in Tekong while Dear's at home. We'll chat on the phone..missing each other so madly..hee..those days are over...

Guard duty on friday was relaxed but an irritating one. I hate doing duty in the rain. It makes the floor so wet and dirty..totally irks me off. I feel so awkward. Worse enough, i'm doing it with one private and a stupid coporal. A damn lazy one. He chooses his own slot in the benefit of him. Selfish ass...But time flies and finally sat is here. Dear's sweet yet again to come and look for me..Hee...

Next week i'm going to surprise her..hee..can't wait for that day..

BMW Covertible Ride

Today i got my butt on a seat of my dream car - BMW convertible. Super cool. Shaped like some robotic turbo car with silver finish. My favourite colour. Sitted inside, u feel as though u are floating. The engine silence, power surround sound. Totally cool...Finally...yes, finally..i have no regrets anymore..

http://usa.asus.com/news_show.aspx?id=4809

The above link. Go ahead..click on it..Showed to me by my friend. My dream laptop. Envy..whoever's getting it, let me know. Give me every chance to envy you or even rob you. It has the best of stats..good enough for almost everything..ARGH

Guard duty tml. sian...til now, i'm still putting myself in the well. Thinking how nice it is that some people actually do not need to serve guard duty. But like most said, it's part and parcel of NS. We take SAF's pay, we have to listen. I shall just wait for Saturday to come..

Movie - Life's a HighWay

Life is a highway. This sentence comes from a title of a soundtrack from the movie 'Cars". Life is really a highway, full of ups and downs.

My day began well. Finally, i get to have my PES status remained at C9L2. It's a great great news, which means i won't have to go to Tekong for that damn BMT. But sadly, i couldn't get excused for my range. I hate range...it gets ur ears deaf, get your body sticky and muddy. Ewwss...just the though of it turns me off..

It's real convenient to have a laptop with you. U bring it whenever and wherever u want. Hehe..i'm still happy at the thought of it..

Tml's another day of work...haiz...

Random

Soo full..til now, my stomach still feel bloated..Tonight's dinner is cooked specially for me. My beloved mum cooked it specially for me. My favourite wanton soup, steamed beancurd with prawn, spicy chilli sardine with onions and chilli omelette. Yummy...Dear got lucky to have a decent share of today's dinner too. Hope she's enjoying it.

Tml i'm going to get my PES status reviewed. Hopefully, my PES status remained..I wanna skipped my range again, skipped those stupid IPPT. ARGH!!! Shoo Shoo...


Made model for the water mitigation for my superior again today. It's always fun making model. Spent the rest of the day chatting with my colleague about games. Realised that there's so much about games that i still don't know. I used to be interested in games, be it console games, pc games etc etc...

Introducing Chery QQ

Today a few of us were talking about cars. There's this car that i've heard it sometime on news before. The model is Chery QQ. It's a car that's made in China. An economy car that is suitable for simple usage. Easy to drive, easy to manage. I was thinking maybe i'll start pestering papa about this..I'm quite interested in this car now..The review of it isn't that bad too..

Finally, applied for Capitacard debit mastercard from DBS. Hopefully, it will go through successfully. Can't wait to receive the card..

If you think you're unlucky, read on!

You think you are the most unluckiest person on earth. You think you are the pitiest person that has ever exist. You think you have no future. All the above shouldn't exist at all. Wait til u hear what i'm about to say.

A colleague of mine, turning 20 this year, has served NS for about a year. Recently, his condition has worsened. He belong to PES E status due to his skin condition and his eye problem. He visits skin centre for some therapy almost 3-4times a week, each time taking almost half a day. But i supposed what's bothering him most is his eye. He's almost blind, yes, ALMOAST BLIND. His eye is very blurish and has cause him great convenience. He used to be better but it just got worsened after he enter army. He told me alot of thing. He asked, have you ever wondered what you would do if u go blind? He even said to me, he haven't been in love once and he said he won't have any chance cos he's going to turn blind soon. His blood pressure and eye pressure has make his eyesight almost disappearing due to his breakage of nerve near the eye.

He told me he can't see things that near him. His scope of vision is so narrow that u keeps banging into things. Once he said he even bang onto full height mirror and said sorry to his reflection because he couldn't see. My heart reached out to him when i heard what he said. He said he's having depression now and i feel very sorry for him. But i must say he's strong that he's still living life as usual, just with abit negative thoughts. He told me this, i don't want my last moments which i can see to be in army, i want to see more beautiful things. At that moment, i shut my mouth. I didn't know what to say..

To me, i would rather go deaf, i would rather go dumb but i would never want to turn blind, for that is the most scariest thing that can ever happen to me.

I've been feeling super lousy today. I feel totally depressed. Still suffering from the lapse yesterday. My mood wasn't ok until just now when i reached home after meeting Dear. Dear, u did make my mood better.hee..out of the sudden, i miss her so much. She managed to score well for her assignment and i'm glad for her. She's picking up well and hopefully, she can make it through and well for her exams.

My PEs status is expiring soon. I'm going for the review soon and hopefully, it will stay at C9L2, which means no IPPT for me. Guard duty this friday, the though of it just makes me feel sucky..Haiz..

Don't Do Things Last Minute

I find myself quite weird earlier on. I just gone so quiet and silent by myself out of a sudden. Nothing happen or maybe it just that i'm bothered or troubled by things that doesn't really matter. Whether it's about Dear, work, family or what..i couldn't figure out what happen to me. It's a rather depressing feeling that makes me feel like doing nothing. Not in the mood to talk either.

It's not good to do thing at the very last minute. There's always risks involved. No matter how lucky u were to manage to scrap through, things won't go your way all the time. No harm preparing the things u need earlier. No harm planning ahead. In fact, it gets u ready. What happen just now hopefully is a good lesson. Advice to you: Pack your bag the night before u turn in. And lastly, on your mobile phone to the normal mode the moment u are out of that sch or office!

NA

A real bad day yesterday. It kind of woke me up. Reminded me how i have changed. I used to better..but not good as before. I'm supposed to be better than before. I'll change..i'll take note. But it takes two hands to clap. I may agree to what was said, i felt regretful too. But it doesn't mean i accept what was said. Both of us has to reflect. What i did was totally wrong, in fact, so wrong that i almost fall into that deep pitch that was supposed to be my stepping stone.

Sunshine after rain. Hope it won't happen again. Both are at fault so let's move on. Know what to do, what not to do. Things will get better. The agreement on 4 years later is still on.

I finally got started on it. Now i'm just going to start thinking how do i reach it to people..shall crack my brain, squeeze out my creative juices..

NA

I've got a bad feeling..i tried to help..but u must help yourself too...there's a limit to what i can to and a limit to how much i'm allowed to help you. If i overdo it, it will cause unnecesary trouble and misunderstanding..Wish u gdluck..

Misses Movie With My Friends

It's such an envy to be able to catch the latest movies at the theater. I miss those days where i always catch new released movies with my friends. We used to watch movie almost every week, sometimes up to 3 movies per week. We even bought the gv coupon to sastify our hnger for nice movies. Gone were those days..

So finally it's my turn to envy people who catches the movies they are interested in..some day, i'm going to be like last time..so crazy about movies!

Random

Finally i'm well. Free from bad flu..free from uncomfortable sorethroat. No fever too..phew..Alive and kicking!

Yesterday was chionging maple. Finally, i've found a new place where i can train well. It's always better to train in party. You gain exp fast, you get more items and more fun! Seeing Don's damage just make me feel so jealous. His damage reach as high as 5k plus as compared to mine which is around 2k on average. We made plans tomake our mapling more fun. We shall chiong together, raid maps together, bring out our guild, eliminate inactive members, earn mesos together. It's nice to have a mapling buddy. Well, don has been my gaming buddy since years ago. We started out on games like yahoo pool, pokemon, swat 4 and lotsa of other games. Cos it's never bored to play with him.

Presenting 'kendoboi'

Finally planned my business with Don. It's really time i get started. Shall elaborate more on my blog next time. I feel confident to bring this business up. Got support from my dear too.

Went to 'kuan yin'temple with Don today too. Prayed for a few people. Hope they stay healthy and happy, of cos that includes me..=)

Sick

As mentioned yesterday, and i woke up today feeling extra uncomfortable. Decided to report sick..It's so troublesome for me to report sick. There are so many people i have to inform - my superior, my in-charge, my friends etc..

Broke but no choice, i went on the the Edinburgh Clinic. Luckily, my family doctor was there. Got a few medicine for flu and some antibiotics. Got a letter from her for the medical officer and the best - 2 days MC!!

I keep telling myself no eating of food that would bring up my cholestrol level. Eat more veggie as mum and Dear would said. I promised them i would change my eating habits and diets.

Dear's eyes has been so pain. Even til today, yet stubborn her still dun wan to see doctor. Poor her..hope she get well real soon..

Right now, i'm just feeling hot on my body..temp: 37.2 degree celcius.i'm so scared i would have a fever..please don't come to me..

Random

A terrible day..1st working day of the year was quite alright. No more slacking around in the office allowed. All the high ranking officers and staff are back. Get caught sleeping, reading magazines or simply just doing personal stuff will just get u into hot soup, meaning sign 3 extra guard duties..Sob..that's is why i'm always on high alert. Moreover, the new commander is said to be a pyschotic man. He screams at his man, he throws his temper at his man and he will basically just make a big fuss out of a small matter, making no turning back for you.

Made a model for the whole day. I get envy from people because my job now is just making model. Futhermore, it's own time own target. I choose when to do, when to rest..But the pressure of making it look real to the actual one is there, i dare not let a strand of hair down.

As i'm typing now, my nose is running. It hasn't stop since just now, in fact a few days ago. On and off. I had this bad feeling that i might have a fever soon. I'm feeling hot after sending Dear home just now. I took my temperature just now - 36.9 degree celcius. But i'm now feeling as though i'm having a very high temperature. Wanted to report sick tml, see a private doctor instead of polyclinic (They see patients as though as they were shopping for clothes), but i'm hard on cash. I'm still considering. Let's hope tml, i'll feel i'm still as strong as a bull. I don't want to have fever, it's one of the worst thing that can happen to me. Asthma, fever, grastric..Argh..i want them no more..shoo shoo shoo..go away...

I'm feeling so sick...wish me well..Dear hasn't been feeling well too. So are some of my friends. A bad start of a new year for many. Dear has got eye irritation and rashes. Dear Dear, hope you recover soon. No scratching of your skin, no rubbing of eyes and drink more water..

Glad to hear no complaints or problems from sis. Let's hope her work will continue to be this smooth.

New Year Resolutions

Overall to say, Year 2006 has been a great year for me. Several things for me to be happy about.

- I've successfully completed my Diploma In Architecture Course.
- I've more memories with my friends and sis.
- I've went on 2 holidays this year. 1 with my family, 1 with my Dear
- I've found my love.
- I've found a job that i've never worked before.
- I've become a soldier.

*There are alot more..but those mentioned are mainly the ones that have made my year so wonderful.

Year 2007 is finally here..Hopefully this would be a great year for me. As always, resolutions will be made. I've always try my very best to follow these resolutions but more often than that, the determination fade away as situations don't allows.

This year, i rather have some wishes and hopes than to have resolutions.

- Be a better person - a better son, brother, boyfriend, friend, soldier.
- Be a better guitarist. I got to play more music.
- Go on a vacation again.
- Stay healthier by exercising and folow a healthier diet.
- Make more money with my upcoming plans and save more money. Spend wisely.
- Decorate my room, i'm gong to make it feel more like my room.

Basically, that's all i can hope for..i'll just try my best and hopefully, this year 2007 would be a great year...

Random

Love knows no boundaries..be it race, religion, nationality, distance, height etc etc..it's amazing seeing people whom overcome those factors just to find their true love. Distance has never seems to be a problem for me. I'm ok with it..it's used to be ok for the both of us too..but now, as several months has passed, it just seems that it's getting kind of difficult for u. I understand but come to think of it, why should it be..

Mistakes made once doesn't mean it will stay there forever. No one is unreasonable forever. I know he made a mistake before..he realised it to and come to terms with what we reason with him. I see no reason why should that matter still remain so strongly in ur heart when u even said that it can disappear in you. I understand how u feel, i also assure you, if such a thing ever happen again which i jolly well it won't, i'll fight for you. I'll reason and thrash out with him. There's people behind u and me too. The thing is, that matter is in the past, don't dwell on it anymore. Accept that just the way he accept our reason. Don't fear of anything again. I'm here..come to me should anything arises.

Seeing Don's hamster yesterday just made me want to have one too. Dear had the experience of bringing up those hamsters before. I'm seriously considering in getting one. I'll have to think twice before i really do that. Somehow when i see Don's hamster yesterday, i'm like a small child again, playing with it when it doesn't know what am i talking about. Hehe..it look so cute that i just want to put it on my hand but Don says it bite. Hm..i'll think and consider...

Weather hasn't been good. Almost everyone around me isn't feeling well. Me, my friends, my Dear..so many. oor Dear, even had a stomach upset which is still haunting her now. She's now in her dreams..let's hope everything will be ok for her tml..cos it's hard to ask a stubborn person to consult a doctor...*Pray*

Dear received her SIM letter not long ago. I fear for her..i know she's starting to worry..don't worry Dear. I'll help u wherever i can. Come up with a timetable or study plan, focus more on your studies now. i know u have start making plans and hopefully u can stick to it. I understanding the time u need, i will understand. Don't worry too much..jia you!!

I want to welcome year 2007 with you and my friends. Does it seems so hard...i've always enjoyed my coundown with them and all those leave me with good memories. Memories that i wanted to create some more. In addition, it's my very 1st time with you, naturally and of cos, i want to spend it with you too.

I thought i could kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But it seems to hard now..i'm feel so cheated..i'm in your shadow all the while..ur promise is just something to hide your real feelings. You don't have that intention at all actually, yet u made it sound as if u did..i'm into it too...in the end, i fallen hard on the ground. Why is it that i could make the effort to meet your side of people..even i dunno know them at all, i still go ahead. Cos i feel that they are part of you..they are related to you, your families...to be with you, of cos i have to know them..let them know who am i to know, let them know more of me and vice versa..

Haiz..how will it be like...

It's another long weekend again...work has been slacking so far..Actually, doing nothing isn't a good thing afterall. With all those high ranking officers around, u have to act as though you are doing something when there actually simply nothing for u to do. But these slacking days would be over all and come wednesday, everyone would be back and the busy days will come..

Guard duty on wednesday just brings me back to the 1st time when i did my 1st ever guard duty out of tekong. The 1st time i did guard duty, it was quite a good one. For the next day is what i look forward to. But this time round, at the very same place, guard duty wasn't that good. I've to work after my guard duty unlike the previous time whereby i get to go home. Lucky for me, Dear was there when i was prowling. Thanks Dear!!

My maple is kinda dead. My 2x card was kinda wasted. I've been training with parties and have made quite a few maple friends. I can't wait to max my holy symbol!! I want to go explore maple new maps with Donna!! Donna, r u there?

Today something happened. Mei mei, just want to tell you, the thing that i feared most has come. This is working life..take it lightly and learnt from it. Be strong like you always do. Many people will be willing to help you. Stay happy always.

Finally my laptop will be here Sunday. I can't wait!! Finally!! Imagine carrying it around, so convenient!! Hehe..it's going to replace this damn computer of mine..hooray!! Tml's kbox with dear, mei mei and her bf and i'm going to catch Death Note 2..Tml will be a good day..hmmm..

Thanks to those who sent me their Christmas greetings..hope Christmas this year has been a fruitful one for u guys..

Weather has been sooo cold recently. My nose has been blocked for a few days already..it's still blocked as i'm blogging now. The medicine the doctor prescribed isn't help. I can't get to sleep not only because of the irritation the nose brought me but also for all the troubles that's swirling my mind now..

I feel like a burden now. I feel so bad now. Blame me if you must.
I can't imagine that the thought was once haboured before, but it was before..it only matters a little.
Does meeting or seeing a person lesser causes less conflict? Why can't it be the lesser we meet a person, the less good memories we can have..
Apologies meant nothing. The 1st time i heard thing shall hopefuly be the last time i heard this too. I apologise for the wrong things i once did. I don't apologise knowing i will did it once again but apologise knowing that i did u wrong just now.
Mean it when u really say something. Make it feel it..

I do love you..for once i thought u don't....when u said all those to me

The Christmas fun kicked off 2 days ago considering it's already monday now. It's jamming session and some real steamboat party at Gavian's house. Jamming aren't really fruitful, we didn't jammed well. I'm beginning to hate my amplifier. It's really time i get rid of this pathetic amp and get a more powerful one. I feel so unmotivated by this pathetic amp. Steamboat is even more wonderful. We bought sooo many food that we even thought that is wasn't enough. JiaJing was even crazier to went queueing up with aunties and brought over 2 KG of prawns. We had a hard time preparing the steamboat. It's also the preparation that sux cos we had to prepare while our stomach is grumbling.

We hardly even finish half the prawns. Food was so much so that the table aren't enough to put our plates. Nevertheless, a sastifying meal. Afterwhich, my very 1st gift exchange this year!! Chose Gavian's present which is a cigarette container. Well, he bought it without the intention of getting anyone the idea to start smoking..or maybe i should (haa...i'll die)..Thanks Gavian! Thanks dude for kick-starting my Christmas and giving me such a great time. I really look forward to New Year's Eve!

Happy Birthday PaPA!! One year older...more white hair on your head. Hope my dad liked the presents Dear and i gave. Haaa..i'm sure he did. He was so happy when he received it...with all smiles..I'm glad..

Went to a christmas party with Dear on Sat night. 1st time seeing all her relatives from her mum side. Their welcome was warm, esp from her cousin. Somehow, the nerverous was killed off, or rather, there's isn't any the moment i reached there. Most of her uncles and aunties eyes were on me, wondering since when a guy popped out all of a sudden..Their curiousity turns to me interest as they continue looking at me. Haa...i feel soo wierd. Now that they known me...i feel so heart-warming. I enjoyed myself..1st time i chatted so long with ur sis too....

Finally met Melissa today. Haaa, Dear's so happy to see her. She's changed i would say. She look different. Somehow when i met her today, it's like meeting up with some long time friend. Haa..She and Dear has been the best colleagues i've ever worked with in UOB. I would never forget the jokes, craps and her actions that brought so much life and laughter to the few of us working together at that point of time. I miss working there with the right people. Aww....but it's ok..they shall stay a good memories for me..

Had a sumptuous dinner. Ate alot..i even bought a chocolate log cake today. Just when i thought i wouldn't get to eat log cake this year, mum offered to buy for me! Hooray..cheers to mum! Cheers to dad too for treating Mac..

Dear bought a new drama show today. I watched the 1st episode and i find it very nice. Worth buying! I'm going to chiong it with Dear..!

I've finally joined the company Don recommend to me. I'm going to strive for the minimum. I'm going to progress slowly and hopefully, i can make something out of it. Bought one cases of Mangosteen Juice. Didn't know mangosteen can be made into juices. Haven't tasted it but heard that it does wonders to our body, well maybe too exxagerating, it does helps our body with certain problems. One bottle actually cost me 50 bucks. Bought one case which has 4 bottles of it. Hopefully it's nice..anyone interested can let me know..

Dear changed her seat. She seems ok with it. She just lost her best working buddy after Mellissaon Friday. I can see she's sad. Be strong Dear..there's still alot of people whom u can work well with..furthermore, mei mei's going in. Oh ya, hope mei mei would get used to the work there. Work would seems tough initially but hope mei mei u hang on there.

Dear told me lotsa stories. I still can't seem to agree on certain things. Office politics has impact on people. I still hate that guy..i can't imagine the party, the kbox, and some other shitty stuff..there's only one word i can used to describe my feelings but i'm not going to say it out..eww..phui..but Dear, i can't stop my heart from melting when i heard how u stood by me, how u defended me when people say me..even if it's ur friends..

Guilt is all over my body now. I'm an obstruction to Dear. I feel that i am. Dear, if you wanna do something, go ahead. If i said i'm ok with it, trust me that i'm really ok with it. Don't hesitate because of me. Not worth it..in the end, u'll end up doing things u regretted doing.

Finally Dear has a preview on the card that i've been working on for her. I'm so happy that she has finally seen it. I really hope she would love all that effort to make this very card. It's the 1st time i doing such thing. I'm happy to be able to do something like that for someone i love. Hehe...let's stay loving together..love you~

Btw, merry x'mas pple! If you didn't get your present tonight, don't blame santa..cos they don't exist..blame ur parents or friends instead... =)

I'm beginning to like what i'm doing at work now. It's all clerical work..not much of any difficulties..The superiors i'm working with is alright, my fellow colleagues are ok too..except for some..Usually, it's this kind of 'some people' that ruins ur day.

Imagine this - A person who speaks to you as though u owe him anything and everything.
- A person who claims to be your friend orders you indirectly/directly to do things that can
actually be done by both.
- A person who give you all sorts of excuses just to not make things go your way.
- A person who pretends he's ur friend in front of others and turns his back on you once those
people are gone.

Work with the above mentioned person for another one and a half year, i can't imagine. Anyway, my tolerance for him is running low, someday, somehow, i'm going to explode and when i do, it's going to be bad.

Rain has been the regular visitor these few days all around Singapore. I hate rainy days, it makes me drenched, it makes my clothes and boots wet which in turns makes it dirty..Yucks..Rain Rain Go AWAY!!!

Man Utd lost! Gosh...that's not the main thing..the worst is that Chelsea managed to win a game that seems not to be going their way. I'm utterly disappointed. When will Chelsea lose?!?! ARGH!!!

Laptop! Laptop! Laptop! That has been on my mind all the way..it will continue to be this case for the next few weeks until my laptop arrives. I can't wait..My personal desktop is leaving on me..i'm fed up with those errors, pop-ups and problems it's giving me. I'm so fed up that i've started making plans to buy a dell desktop. Desktops nowadays are so cheap that i have a wide variety to choose from. Dell desktops caught my eye. Soon, i'll land that very desktop on my computer table..

Happy 7th month Dear. Bought her a white monokuro.boo piggy. Hehe..we used to argue who's the white pig, who's the black one. It's until today that i find out that she should be the white one and i should be the black one - from her christmas present. I had a hard time thinking of what to buy for her christmas present. But luckily, god's on my side. I found this very interesting stuff that i thought she might like it..Let's just wait til sunday when she opens the wrapper..

Played pool with my buddies yesterday. Jon's MIa again..yet again and as always. It's been a long time since i last saw him. He's always busy with having appointments. I truly miss those days where the four of us would just gather for anything and everything, be it pool, clubbing, watching movies or simply just spending a night over at someone's house and rot it away..

I'm now into Monokuro.Boo stuff...I want to collect their stuff!!

Can't wait for my laptop to come!!! Come!! Come!! Come!!

Finally on 12/12/06, i'm officially an Ammunition Technician. This vocation may sound very technical but it's more to that. I never mention before what i've learnt. Though for the past few weeks, i didn't absorb totally what is taught to us or rather what was given to us, but it seems that this vocation require u to know a vast knowledge of ammunition. Yea! Soon i'll be sewing my fire badge on and after that, my cpl rank very soon..

Finally, my 2 days leave is here. I'm so deprived of a long break ever since i cleared my leave 3 months ago.

Thanks for my Dear, meimei got her job. My 1st day of leave was spent well but ended very terribly and badly. So bad that my life seems to be worthless at that very point of time. Dear was sweet enough to take leave to accompany me.

Watched eragon, a movie about dragons. It's been a long time since dragons appeared in movies. There's always this very interesting thing to have those fictional characters in movie. It's like such things never appeared in real life, so people would generally wonder how these fictional characters live, behave, move, etc etc...

A bad day for Dear to take leave too cos she ain't feeling well. Towards our way home, shitty happened. What should not be done has been done by me and i regretted is very very much. But the pain inflicted sometimes is so painful that it last for days and sometimes even weeks. In this case, it cause me a hell of fear. I'm scared..so scared that i couldn't get to sleep. I asked myself alot of questions, questions that even i myself don't want to find out the answers. What happened that night makes me ponder. My morale was brought down, my confidence dashed. Nevertheless, i try to stay positive. Assurance did make me feel better. Positive thinking should set me on the path of healing. Wounds takes time to heal..i need time...

Finally, Dear started teaching tuition again. Finally, it's back to the routine a few months ago. I missed those time where i would spend an hour and a half doing alot of thinking, and other stuff etc. Dear has got her extra income now and i'm glad. We've discussed and we want to save on our money and not spend it unnecessarily.

I helped Dear calculated her exam fees and the amount of unbelieveble. I feel so bad out of the sudden. I have to try my means to help her. I really hope she can do well, i hope she does. She's starting to take intiative and i'm glad.

Her card is still on the way. I'm running out of ideas..i hope she won't get disappointed. I wondered if she will feel touched but i know it's hard.