Yea..it's been days since i last blogged. This will be the last time i'm blogging as a civilian i suppose. The next time i'm blogging as a civilian will be two years later. This week has no work. Basically, was just slacking and enjoying myself, of cos not forgetting to make final preparations for my army life.

Lots of things went through my head recent days. It's funny to think of it, i'm just going through what my friends are going through a year ago. Still remember that a year ago, it was me who consoled them, making them feel better from the Pre-NS syndrome. Now, it's the other way round. I've learnt alot abt the army life and i know it's not going to be easy but at the same time, not that bad either. I'm going to miss my family, miss my Dear, miss my friends, miss my sister, miss the freedom i had and wanted, miss my bed..but come to think of it, i'm going in to learn more things, things that i won't be able to learn anywhere else. I guess it can make me more independent, more decisive and also stronger (hopefully).

I'll be confined for 2 weeks. I really don't know how am i going to spend this 2 weeks. I seriously wonder how long will i take to adapt, how will the life inside be. I guess only i can tell myself that answer when i get in. And of cos, i have my own worries when i get in. I'm still worried for my Dear. Really hope she can take good care of herself. Have a proper 3 meals each day, sleep well whenever possible and stay happy most importantly. Don, while i'm not around, train yourself to 3rd job. Wait for my return. I'll be counting down everyday. I can't wait for 4th August to come.

It seems like i have to bring alot of things, but the list of things i have to pack seem so little..Argh..abit stress..I'm going to make sure my last night of civilian life before i go army is well spent..

I really hope she will be ok. i'm very worried. I'm not in the best of mood now. The thought of going Ns, the thought of not being able to be there for her and take care of her, and alot of others things makes me feel so restless. Please see a doctor ASAP...

Today we celebrated our 2nd month anniversary. I rented a car on sat. Drove her around and my parent too. I've never expect that i would be able to drive a like i like around. It's something i'm happy to do and i'm sure she does felt it that way too. It's the 1st time my mum sat on the car i drove.

Yesterday night was enjoyable. I somehow really really treasure the time that's left with her. It's seems like time's starting to pass very fast. Somehow i had the urge to stop the time from moving. I really hope that those happy memories will come back again and not just flashed back on my mind. 2 months has passed. It's wonderful to see how time actually flies. We've been through alot, be it good or bad, but i'm sure, whatever has happened so far is for the better of the future - a future that both of us want and are working towards.

Today we went to watch Re-cycle which's a damn lousy movie. Afterwhich had a not do nice dinner at Pizza-hut before proceeding to PS to watch the Pirates of the Carribean. A very nice movie which lotsa funny scenes. Again, the time in the movie theater was very very enjoyable. I could see her smiling and laughing away, it just makes her look so sweet and cute. Aww...aren't i lucky.

Parted with her to met Don for supper. Hasn't seen this dude for a long time and found out quite some stuff about BMT in Tekong from him. Guess i'm just experiencing what they have gone through a year ago. I have to adapt to my new life. Certainly i'm not ready for it. I will miss my Dear, my family and the freedom i had. I wanted to spend more time with the new love that i've found 2 months ago. My family has already been with me for 20 years ++, but with Dear, it's ard 3 months or so..how i wish we could spend our days back then when we just got together again. There's alot of things i wanted to tell her, alot of things i wanted to do with her. She's committed to alot of things - work, teaching, study and so on..it's hard on her.

Few more days and i'm in. I really hope she can take care of herself. Hope she still remembers those naggy reminders that i gave her. I don't want her to tire herself. I know she will miss me, but i'll miss her as much as she does too. I'll be gone for 2 weeks only, wait patiently for my book out and while waiting, look at the photos we took, listen to the cd i burn for u, do the puzzle i bought for u and just remember the happy moments we had. Just keep thinking that i'll be back soon and i'm only not there for u physically. Wait for me..i love you..

Sometimes, some words will sound nicer when said out. When those words comes out from your mouth, it simply just make me feel loved. It's like i'm the plant and those words are the water whereas your actions's the sun.

2 more days at UOB and i'm gone. Looking back, it's been quite a journey in my working life. Had its ups and downs. Never regretted working at UOb, i must say it's the best job i've ever taken. Though not of my interest, but the job scope and the people there has made everything so possible for me to enjoy working there.

27 March until 14 July - 3 months plus..i've learnt alot of things there. Know great people there and of cos some NOT SO GOOD people. I don't know what feeling will i bring with me on friday but all i can say is that i will miss that place. I may have said how much i dread going to work, but somehow, it holds quite alot of good memories for me. I'll miss it..

Had intended to make some sort of farewell stuff for the people there. But i ran out of ideas and simply just too lazy to do anything. Well, at least i have the thought, that's good enough right. Wahaha..well, have to understand cos i'm just experiencing the Pre-NS syndrome.

Today i heard what Dear told me. She told me about how she felt at work, it's somehow exactly how i felt for the past few weeks. But it's not going to hold a candle to hers. She will be staying for another year. I know it's going to be tough for her. One has to make the most out of it in order to make sure she does enjoy his/her work to a certain extent. Humans are selfish, they are selfish too. Can't expect everything to go your way. There's interesting people, though not ones who be compared to the ones who has left, but they sure can at the very least, make u feel work isn't just LIKE THAT. I'm only not there physically, that's what u always say to me.

I managed to rent a car for this Sat/Sun. Finally i can drive around. I can fetch her from sch, drive her around, bring my parents out. I'm looking forward to it.

Sunday

1st time i went KBox. Nice experience. I had the courage to sing. Cos it's just me and her. Had quite some fun. Sang quite a few song. Times passes so fast when you are singing. We sang only for 2 hours. 22 bucks for 2 hours, i was told it was considered quite cheap. We were supposed to sing for 3 hours instead but someone book the room in advance. Damn..i haven't enjoyed myself yet.

Monday

Dear had her orientation today. Morning was plain. Afternoon was much better when she came back to the office. Today she doesn't have any lessons. We had a date. We wanted to watch movie initially but we changed back to our original plan instead. We headed to the place where we used to date - Marina Square, Esplanade and along the Singapore river. Just now when i was going back home, my mind flashback. I can still remember when we just got together. We will hop onto the mrt and go wherever the MRt brings us. How we would aimlessly go anywhere, and just walking around. I miss those days. Those days are hard to come by now. I miss the day - the day where both of 1st held our hands and went to Changi airport. Although we didn't do much at the Airport, i really loved the time we spent there on that day. Heart's feeling heavy now...

Dear must be struggling with her homework now. She must be feeling tired. How i wish i could help her..Anything i can do to help u, dear?

France vs Italy match. A disappointing match. Although it ended with Italy winning the World Cupm LUCKILY. Full time ended 1-1. Italy could have won, given the amount of chances they had. France were strong too but they didn't take their chances well. Both side proceed into Extra time and that's when drama came. A player who has been talked about the most before this Final has no doubt made the headlines again, all for the wrong reason. A disgraceful act, a shameless way to end his international career. Shame on you, Zizou. One who's regarded as god has overnight became a villian who lost his head. He doesn't even show regret after the person he try to injure fall to the ground. Pathetic. I despise him. France deserve to lose. Hooray and Well Done Italy..

I'm hopeful now - full of hopes. I had actually wanted to give up, but she pulled me up. She didn't give up on me, not even my face. She could have easily sleep even when i say i don't want to go today. She could have easily sleep for she knew she's going to have another long day of teaching and studying. BUT she insist that i go, not only that, she accompany me. I'm determined not to let her down. I'll go. I'll do whatever i can to save it. Thanks Dear..

Alright..i'm back to blog about my graduation ceremony..Had to wake up early because the ceremony starts at 9pm. I didn't had enough sleep, so did Dear. Both of us had late night yesterday. I had to wear this white long sleeve shirt that looked so rugged. I was frustrated because i wanted to look my best at this very day. Not only because it's my graduation ceremony but also because Dear's wearing nicely. Mum went with me, luckily, my dad didn't follow. He doesn't like this kind of function - but still he's happy that i've graduated!

Wanted to take a cab. Singapore cabbies seems to be extinct at the morning hour. Already raining, i still can't get any cab anywhere. Dialled 2 taxi operators, both had no taxi available. Damn..no choice and so we squeeze onto the LRt and MRT. Reached than just in time and so the graduation started. When i was about to went on stage, i was kinda happy. Happy that the two woman i love most in the world is going to witness this very moment. It makes the whole thing rather special for me, really special. Another thing that makes me happy is that i can see that mum and Dear are getting along so well.

Had a yummy lunch at Yuki sushi. Actually had wanted to sing KBOX after lunch but found out thjat it's not really worth. Mum say she's going to have sushi again on Sat and we are going to sing KBox on sunday. I really wanted to go KBox. I wanted to see how is it like. I want to sing, although my voice sux. Hope Dear can stay my hse again on Sat. I want to spend all the time in the world with her before i get enlisted. Sad to say this but there's only around 14 days left..sob..

-- i put you above everyone else --

Days after the wednesday is simply just great. Dear's starting to express herself more. I'm very glad. I'm very happy. I hope i didn't have to make her worry or unhappy too much again.

Today's my graduation day. I'm very happy. Mum and Dear attended my graduation ceremony. I'm glad. Dear's cooking now. Hm..i shall post more abt it later. I'm very very happy today. Too happy til i'm lost for words..

I feel so relieved...i realised alot of things today. All has been poured out, talked about and settled, well, more or less...Now there shouldn't be any obstacles. All has been cleared. I just want to enjoy, just like when things started out. There's things i must do, things i have to take note and things i should change abt myself.

I have to grow no matter what. Today is the last day i shall let myself be like that. I must eat like a pig and i know Dear's going to help me. Her bread was especially tasty. I love it. Today is the 1st time milo make me feel like vomiting. I wasn't feel comfortable for quite some time. The feeling of vomiting keep on coming on and off.

Didn't get to take photos again. She has been wearing nice clothes past few days. Disappointed but i know there will be chance again. Just now the taxi driver was taking to me about soccer. Had a nice chat with him about soccer - world cup. It's been so long since i had a nice chat about soccer to someone.

Last thing i want to say..i really love my Dear Dear.

Dear's at her best today..she woke up very early today. Met her up..i had actually wanted to pass the bookmark i made for her just before she left for school..but i have the eagerness to pass her asap. I can't wait to see what will be her reaction. Had wanted to give her, i wanted to go to that very bench. I like being there with her alone..but she wanted to go up. I gave her along the way. Smile appeared on her. I'm glad and happy. Good start..

Lunchtime came..heart's getting heavier..stomachache pestered me yet again. Don't know what wrong with this stomach..the moment i'm back to work, it creates trouble again. To think that i can actually tahan for 5 days in Malaysia. Weird stomach..wonder what's going to hapen when i enter NS.

Misunderstanding happen midway through work. Nothing serious but it's the 1st time i felt so useless. I'm already ok..I apologise for my sensitiveness.

Head back home with a heavy heart and painful head. Bought a water bottle for Dear which i wanted to get yesterday but didn't get the chance to. Reached home, and i was told the good news. Mummy's ok. I'm soooo happy to hear that. It's a very very very big boulder off my shoulder. I have been worrying for mummy for quite long. I'm really relieved to hear that she's alright.

Today is the 1st time i fetched Dear from school. The feeling was good. The only worrying thing is that it's hard on her to work and study at the same time. Imagine waking up early in the morning..started working from morning til evening and rushed off to work without much rest til late at night. Poor her..she really needs sleep and rest. Dear, be strong and if u do need a shoulder to lie on, mine is always around for u.

Don's has been maple hardcore recently..he's going to catch up with me soon. Jia You Donna!!

Finally i'm done..Hope she'll like it. I finally come up with something decent. I've ran out of ideas and hope this could really motivates her, make her feel happy..lead her into the right mood before she go for her class. I'm not feeling good for not able to be there for her on her 1st day of sch. Dear, do gimme a call k..i'm just a call away.

Dinner was enjoyable..i didn't feel awkward eating with her family..i didn't even realise it until Dear popped me the qns. In fact, i'm enjoying dinner. Dear look really fierce when she stares at people..haha..when she stared at me, i thought i did something wrong..until she told me, then i realise she's just plainly staring at me. Maybe i didn't eat the 'Tang Hoon'..haa..

Had wanted to eat at Marina South. But don't know how to go. I went to the front to direct her dad. She's not with me..i was scared and afraid. Luckily, her dad didn't show unhappiness. We headed for Ang Mo Kio for dinner instead. Yummy steamboat. While eating, it brings me back to the 1st time when i had steamboat at Seoul Garden steamboat with Dear. The feeling is just so sweet..i miss those days..haa..those were the days..

Tml she's starting school. Oh ya..she bought me a new cap. White converse cap. I'm beginning to like white apparels and accessories..Mum said i look nice in white..in the past, it's always and only black..now i shall start filling my cupboard with white clothes..

I thought i scratched the new watch i wore just now. I accidentally rubbed it against a wall, three scratches appeared. Luckily, it's the paint and i was able to remove it away. Phew..if not, i'll feel so sad..

Tml's work..i dreaded going to work now..cos everything seems so 'stranger' to me. 1 and a half more hr, i can start writing on the dairy. Had a little chat with Farhan today. Seems like he has adapted to the life there. I wonder how many days will i take to adapt to the life there. Anyway, time flies..it will be over in a blink of an eye. Was talking to bro about mummy..let's hope everything will be ok..really really ok..i'm praying.

Daddy's fav pet died. He cut the fish tail..blood came out..everything was alright until few mins later. The fish just flip over and struggling to live. It's a painful side. Daddy must be feeling very upset, his actions caused the death of his fav pet. He's very sad. Let's just hope daddy will go to the fish farm with me and get a new fish. R.I.P baby fish..

Off to meet Dear now..gonna enjoy myself later..missing her alrdy...

KELVIN LOW!! I dread this two words now..each time i picked up the mobile phone, kelvin low is the 1st two words i would hear. I don't mind anyone calling me that..but if called all the time, it starts to sound unpleasant to me. How i wish the 1st 2 words i would hear each time i pick up the mobile phone to be so pleasing to my ears that i could converse in a better mood.

No one can have the best of both worlds. Even if one could, he/she has to work doubly hard. Nothing comes free without u putting effort into it. That applies to me. I've sorted out. My life is already in plan. My life is already good..near to perfect. I've got a family who cared for me, i've got a gf who loves me, i have got friends who's there for me too..I shall move on..get on with life..take a step at a time...look forward..

She's there wherever i need her. At least she showed it to me today. I'm so happy when i received that call. But i want her to know that i really really don't want her to hide anything from me. Even u are pissed with me, even u miss me, even u are simply just feel like talking or telling me things, just let me know. Now i know she'll be there no matter what. Just like many others who's willing to do the same. Thanks Don...Thanks sis...Thank Dear

I'm so happy today. Finally got my new mobile phone. Finally i got a couple ring with Dear. Finally we got our diary. There's plenty of reasons to be happy about too. Most importantly, i've got what i'm desperately wanted - her trust. The small misunderstanding was bad. But her assurance brought me life. She's going to start school soon. Life's changing. We have to adapt to it soon. I'll try and fork out as much time as possible with her. I don't want to be ignored, i don't want to be neglected. I'm always there.whenever u need me most..

Finally, i'm going to blog about my Malaysia trip. Lotsa people has been pestering me, wanting to know how i spend my 4 days at Malaysia, well, here u go..

My trip started way early in the morning. Woken up by Dear who's yet yes, so sweet again. Started doing our last min checking and packing up before her nice daddy fetch us there. We reached there damn early and stood there like an idiot. Luckily, we were able to board the so called comfortable coach. Our trip was kinda spoilt by this 'dying soon' auntie who appears to be the fiercest 'witch' in the coach. We sat on her seat unknowingly and instead of telling us to change our seat nicely, she showed her witch power, as if we were intimidated. Phui..Just went we thought the coach would be filled we old aunties and uncles, a few young adults joined in and off we go to Genting!!

The trip was long, coach was cold but luckily, the seat aren't that uncomfortable. It tooks us around 7 hours to reach our destination. The moment we got down the coach, the super cold breeze brushed through our legs, making my hair stand. The weather there was cold..really very cold. We checked in at the counter and upon reaching the hotel room, we were disappointed. There's no cupboard to put our clothes. There's no safe deposit box to put our valuables. The tv were small and the room is pathetic. There's no bathtub too. Wahaha..i don't expect an enjoyable sleep during my stay in Genting.

1st day in Genting
We kicked off the 1st day with a lousy meal at this Hainanese restaurant. Food was bad - bland and tasteless. Then we started shopping around the area. Nothing much and soon we were back to our room. Rest of the day was nothing much. Just slacking and feeling lazy.

2nd day in Genting
We wanted to have our FREE breakfast as the cafe. The free breakfast was a complimentary meal given to us. I n the end, our laziness got the better of us. I was too tired and get out. Sleep was more important to me. Luckily, dear also skipped breakfast. We went theme park on this day. Hooray..That's the main activity of Genting. We were there early, Dear can't wait to play the outdoor theme park and so there we were. Sadly, rollercoaster was closed on that day. Haiz, i have to miss it again, just like how i missed it a few years back when i came to this very theme park too. Nothing much was there for us to played. Or rather we aren't interested in most of the things there. We played Solaris too..that was shiok!! I can't explain the feeling but it was simply shiok. We took away for lunch and had lunch in the hotel room. Cosy and nice. Food certainly make us tired and we napped. By the time we woke up, we realised we were kinda late, not enough time we play what we wanted to. We chiong down to the theme park again and luckily, this time round, we played what we wanted. The water splashing roller coaster. It made us wet but at the same time, we had fun. Kenny Rogers was our dinner. It was recommended by one of our colleague and so we tried. Same as any other Kenny Rogers at anywhere else. Nice chicken with not so nice side dishes. Over the dinner, i remember i had a little nice chat with Dear. It's a chat i'll never forget. We watched 'CARS' that night i think. I can't remember if it's that night or the night before. Before the show, i was kinda down but the movie really cheered me up. It was funny yet meaningful. Dear's slept a while during the show and missed parts of it. But luckily, she knows what's going on in the movie. Nator was cute in the movie whereas the plot makes everything just funny and nice.

I lost my camera on this day. My heart was pain. Really pain. Pain because the camera was something that i've always wanted. Only mum knows it. I saved my money very hard to get that digi-cam. But my heart was pain mainly because of the photos inside. Inside has photos of my friends and lotsa people but luckily, i had them transferred. It's the photos that i took with dear during this trip that make my heart bleed and cracked. It's not easy to get her taking photos with me. I treasured those photos alot. I really wanted to be able to see how much fun i had when i had them all printed out on photo cards. I thought that in future when i look at the photos, i can see and remember how happy i once was. But now, it's gone..everything is just gone...

3rd Day in Genting and Kuala Lumpur
Our early part of the day was spent in Genting. And yes, again, we missed our FREE breakfast. Tiredness got into us again. We woke up, packed our bag and get ready for Kuala Lumpur. The wait was torturing. It was cold, we were shivering and hungry. Omni-bus was our transport to KL. A 7 seater bus with 2 passenger and 1 driver, wahaha..1st time in my life. The trip was quite short. We reached the hotel much much early than expected. We had to actually wait 3 hours before we can checked in. Tired of waiting, we headed for Times Square to shop and come back for the checking in later. There's plenty to shop at Times Square. It's not a place where u can finish shopping one day. We bought a few stuff and head back to the hotel. This hotel didn't disappoint us. It has bathtub, a bigger room, comfortable bed, big Tv, big cupboard and safe deposit box. They have everything we need. We 'rotted' a while before heading to the City Square which one of our colleague recommended. This time round, we had total disappointment. That place was full of malay stuff. We were super bored. We had our dinner at this Teppanyaki place. I had fun communicating with the people there. Imagine, one 'duck' and one 'chicken' talking. Totally funny and hilarious. But luckily, i still understand abit of malay language. We went to LOT 10 to shop. Thankfully, it's a much much better place than City Square. She bought a T-shirt for me. I liked it very much. Thanks Dear.

4th day in Kuala Lumpur
This is a day both of us hope it will never come. Damn...time flies and so soon, we have to get ready to go back to Singapore. Our check-out time was 12pm and this time, we missed our FREE breakfast again, which means we never had any of our FREE breakfast while in Malaysia. Wahaha..We checked out early and leave our lugguage with the concierge before doing our last shopping. We shopped alot of things this time round. We head back to the hotel with bags of stuff and off we go, on our way to Singapore.

This time round, the seat was lousy. I felt very uncomfortable. The trip lasted longer than the trip from singapore to Genting. We reached Singapore past midnight. By then, dear's having serious headache. That night i was restless..i slept well, the best of that week i think.

That all rounded up my trip in Malaysia. There's some details that i might missed out. Will add them if i remember.

Sob..i'm bored...my mum keep on saying i'm troubled..she can sense it..i'm not worried about the camera..not anymore..just feeling abit upset cos the photos inside are all gone..those are sweet memories u know..i'm more worried about my mum. I don't want her to know how i feel, this will only make her feel more upset..what should i do...i'm troubled..

Dear's starting sch soon..how much am i going to miss her, i don't know..all i know is that i'm going to miss her alot alot..just like now, i can feel that in a few days time, i'll be missing her and feeling not good.

Argentina lost to a LOWLY Germany - Penalties shoot-out..damn..they should have gone in..i hate Germany now. Curse them...they shall get kicked out in the semi-final.