The meaning of friendship does not neglect
Regardless of the frequency of keeping contact
Physically, virtually or just a short text
The thought that counts still remains a fact
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Faithful Angels?
It seems like a common trend nowadays. Once a victim of it, I've found myself sharing that once so painful times ever since. Unfaithfulness. Is it right? Offender more often than not, find lots of reason to make it seem perfectly fine, to them, probably I'll never be able to figured out, could just be a mere 'change'.
No longer are the days where Male RULE the world of love. Not even to mention that LOVE alone can sustain a relationship, forcing circumstances to come into play, in a unpleasant way seemingly. There are lots of reasons (it can be as simple as just one reason, or it could also be an complications of numerous reasons) for being unfaithful. Tons of them to list down, but all boils down to one thing, hurt. The hurt it bring isn't just mere pain, but along with it come torment and torture which haunts during a phase which at a certain point, doesn't seems bright and ending.
Statistics has shown 56% of the guys are caught cheating, while, 36% remained suspected case, over a poll of 133,000 women. Although polled over in a rather open society in the Eastern part of this world, this alarming figure somehow brings a wake up call to many out there.
It's only human to err. True enough, but there are indeed some mistakes that you can never ever commit, for once you do, it seems like an apparent fact that you are condemned ever since. There no longer comes the time where only the males would cheat, women are not 'spared'. I've always thought being unfaithful has largely got to do with temptations, but as a matter of fact, fairytale no longer exist in today world and even the ugliest duckling could get that little chance of cheating on his or her other half. Does that even mean, trust has tremendously been brought down by all the above mentioned? As I ponder against what was written, it dawned on me that it's not difficult to stay within 'the circumference of the circle'. Sometimes, we see so much of the 'grass is always greener on the other side' without knowing the fact that the grass we are already stepping on, are the one that are tied together with heaps of memories, memories which can only be washed away as ages catches up with one.
Is being unfaithful caused or triggered? I don't understand why is it that hard to remain faithful. I attribute it to the fact that we humans beings compared, and thereafter, it goes on to a never ending comparison and eventually, lack of contentment soon replace it and there you go, hurt, pain, misery, follows suit. I've seen lots of cases and hear lots of stories. Those who two-timed, those who left one for another, blah blah blah...and the list simply just goes on....
They say unfaithfulness are triggered by the following:-
lack of value - one would always seek to want to feel we're wanted. A stalemate in a relationship does not mean you have to have your desire for a greener grass satisfied. For once you do, it can only cement this perceived lack of value on you
unhappiness and disappointment - human beings are never contented, therefore, it's hard to know one's mind. being appreciative is equally if not more important than anything else in the world. We always tend to compare our other half with someone better, but never with someone lousier. In fact, this is a real and true killer of relationships in my opinion. Comparison sets expectations and when these expectations are not fulfilled, disappointment gradually creeps in.
unable to express feelings - often in a relationship, one partner always feel afraid of what his or her other half might think of himself or herself. Therefore, they stayed silent, they out up with things that would make them increasingly unhappy in the relationship until a boiling point where it would simply end everything altogether. Communication is the key to a great relationship but often, people are afraid to hear things due to their ego, therefore, the reluctance to listen or share will keep anything from being resolved. And for some, they deal with is by pretending that it is all the fault of the other half and chose to be unfaithful by stepping out of this relationship
inability to commit - say the word yes is simply too easy, be it to a relationship or a vow in a marriage. But committing is the real tough part. It could be due to unhappiness within the relationship, 3rd parties, own feeling of low esteem or could even be the perfection one is seeking from their other half. Some may find it hard to do so due to the hurt or trauma suffered in the past, therefore, having a wall of barrier lying somewhere within the relationship.
I was once against the word 'love'. All because I never feel anyone would be true and real. Until I realize all's not gone. Unfaithfulness seriously is governed by perceptions, that's why there are differing views on it. Like I've mentioned, the betrayer would not think he or she has done anything wrong, to them, it's merely a replacement of something better, something they think they deserve, neglecting the real feeling of the other. They are prone to convincing themselves that they are forced to do it due to certain behaviors of the other half, which probably would help to lessen their own guilt.
I still truly believe trust is naturally an important ingredient in a relationship and it's really entirely up to one self when it comes to being faithful or not. The different stages of relationship naturally comes into play but how we keep ourself within the circle and whether to step it out or not, is really entirely up to us, but the question is, how many of such beings are there? Are you one?
No longer are the days where Male RULE the world of love. Not even to mention that LOVE alone can sustain a relationship, forcing circumstances to come into play, in a unpleasant way seemingly. There are lots of reasons (it can be as simple as just one reason, or it could also be an complications of numerous reasons) for being unfaithful. Tons of them to list down, but all boils down to one thing, hurt. The hurt it bring isn't just mere pain, but along with it come torment and torture which haunts during a phase which at a certain point, doesn't seems bright and ending.
Statistics has shown 56% of the guys are caught cheating, while, 36% remained suspected case, over a poll of 133,000 women. Although polled over in a rather open society in the Eastern part of this world, this alarming figure somehow brings a wake up call to many out there.
It's only human to err. True enough, but there are indeed some mistakes that you can never ever commit, for once you do, it seems like an apparent fact that you are condemned ever since. There no longer comes the time where only the males would cheat, women are not 'spared'. I've always thought being unfaithful has largely got to do with temptations, but as a matter of fact, fairytale no longer exist in today world and even the ugliest duckling could get that little chance of cheating on his or her other half. Does that even mean, trust has tremendously been brought down by all the above mentioned? As I ponder against what was written, it dawned on me that it's not difficult to stay within 'the circumference of the circle'. Sometimes, we see so much of the 'grass is always greener on the other side' without knowing the fact that the grass we are already stepping on, are the one that are tied together with heaps of memories, memories which can only be washed away as ages catches up with one.
Is being unfaithful caused or triggered? I don't understand why is it that hard to remain faithful. I attribute it to the fact that we humans beings compared, and thereafter, it goes on to a never ending comparison and eventually, lack of contentment soon replace it and there you go, hurt, pain, misery, follows suit. I've seen lots of cases and hear lots of stories. Those who two-timed, those who left one for another, blah blah blah...and the list simply just goes on....
They say unfaithfulness are triggered by the following:-
lack of value - one would always seek to want to feel we're wanted. A stalemate in a relationship does not mean you have to have your desire for a greener grass satisfied. For once you do, it can only cement this perceived lack of value on you
unhappiness and disappointment - human beings are never contented, therefore, it's hard to know one's mind. being appreciative is equally if not more important than anything else in the world. We always tend to compare our other half with someone better, but never with someone lousier. In fact, this is a real and true killer of relationships in my opinion. Comparison sets expectations and when these expectations are not fulfilled, disappointment gradually creeps in.
unable to express feelings - often in a relationship, one partner always feel afraid of what his or her other half might think of himself or herself. Therefore, they stayed silent, they out up with things that would make them increasingly unhappy in the relationship until a boiling point where it would simply end everything altogether. Communication is the key to a great relationship but often, people are afraid to hear things due to their ego, therefore, the reluctance to listen or share will keep anything from being resolved. And for some, they deal with is by pretending that it is all the fault of the other half and chose to be unfaithful by stepping out of this relationship
inability to commit - say the word yes is simply too easy, be it to a relationship or a vow in a marriage. But committing is the real tough part. It could be due to unhappiness within the relationship, 3rd parties, own feeling of low esteem or could even be the perfection one is seeking from their other half. Some may find it hard to do so due to the hurt or trauma suffered in the past, therefore, having a wall of barrier lying somewhere within the relationship.
I was once against the word 'love'. All because I never feel anyone would be true and real. Until I realize all's not gone. Unfaithfulness seriously is governed by perceptions, that's why there are differing views on it. Like I've mentioned, the betrayer would not think he or she has done anything wrong, to them, it's merely a replacement of something better, something they think they deserve, neglecting the real feeling of the other. They are prone to convincing themselves that they are forced to do it due to certain behaviors of the other half, which probably would help to lessen their own guilt.
I still truly believe trust is naturally an important ingredient in a relationship and it's really entirely up to one self when it comes to being faithful or not. The different stages of relationship naturally comes into play but how we keep ourself within the circle and whether to step it out or not, is really entirely up to us, but the question is, how many of such beings are there? Are you one?
