Omg..blogger is damn dumb. It has been having problems recently. It tooks me so much trouble just to post up that previous post.

Received news that i only need to work for half day on friday. That news excite me so much so that my heart started to jump around, feeling so happy and started to think of what to do on that day with Dear. Was so happy when i heard Dear's intending to take half day off to accompany me. Woot..aww, dear has to dine with her colleagues. Hehe, she has been craving for Crystal Jade for a long time and i really hope she enjoyed it. Meanwhile, i've start making plans with my friends and all, but everything is like so no confirmed. I don't want to rot at home at such a lovely friday. Hmm, i've made the worse plans! Hopefully, everything will turn out my way.

Have been having bad headaches recently. My neck ache and hand aches are causing me great irritation too. I won't know is it because i sleep too much in camp already. Everyday is like the same for me. Not much changes and days just passess by like a routine. I'm sick and tired already. Weekend is what i'm always looking for, to be exact, a fulfilling weekend and not just any other weekend.

Dear's test coming up. Really hope she can do well. I'll motivate her and encourage her whenever i can. Hope it can be of some help.

I'm very sure there's somthing very wrong with my pc. It's been a super long time since i last formatted it. It restarts by itself every now and then, if not, it will just hang down there out of the sudden. I feel so lazy to reformat cos it will means i have to transfer hundreds of file into my external hdd and redownload programs that's necessary for me.

People who wants to purchase stuff from the Wallet shop, i've got 15 % discount voucher that's valid til 9 nov 2006, if interested, please contact me.

Woot! Heard from my friend that Death Note 2's coming. So fast huh..i can't wait to watch it, i want to see what's going to happen to that brutal murderer. Had a great k box session today with my mum and dear. A totally different experience. Mum was like a pumpkin and chose to sing only classic and oldies whereas me and dear were busy choosing songs. We chose so many songs that the list shot up to the max several times. It's only til today that i realised dear could really sing well. What other people say doesn't really matters. It's just that if u enjoy singing, then just sing. U sing for yourself, not others. Sing for those who appreciate, not criticise. I think i sang the most today although i know for certain songs, i couldn't make it. I know i don't have a mesmerizing voice, not even a voice that is considered nice, but i still can sing. I believe that certain songs are suited only for certain voices.

So far, i've been hooked on a korean drama called 'my girl'. It's a love comedy with lotsa of funny scenes, some touching too. Watching drama with dear has never been better. We would be like watching it and then halfway through, disturb one another. Dear's a good good girl today. She studied today! I can see she's more than determined and really putting in great effort in studying. I really want to try my utmost to help too.

Dear's eyes has been painful recently. I really hope she will be ok. I'm going to bring her to an eye doctor sometime soon. Contact lens is the main cause of her problem i assume. I hate contact lens..Argh!! Just like dear's eyes, my hands hurts almost every now and then every day. It's causing me lotsa of disturbance. But nothing makes it feel better than a few minutes of massage by either my mum or dear. Hmm, when am i going to get my next massage session..

Guilty...don't know why, i still feel that way. Aww, not a good feeling..although i'm being assured, i still feel uneasy. I looked at our photo, somehow i feel i cannot lose her. I can't..

Finally went town with Dear today. Woot! It's part of my birthday celebration. Went to Plaza Singapura, even catch a movie called 'Death Note' which Dear hate it for it's ending. The movie was nice but it's ending doesn't really ends well. Other than that, lunch at cafe cartel was great. Was intending to go for some shopping but end up without knowing what to buy. Wore this very nice coat that Dear bought for me, i love it, i matched it with the t-shirt that parents bought for me.

Past few days at Sch was very slack. Days in camp is starting to become more and more relaxed. Just when i'm starting to get used to it, i realised how many more days am i left in this school. I'll miss my coursemates so much cos they are the ones who's with me when i'm feeling so bored. They are the ones who help makes time past faster than it seems for me. Thank you guys..

Received several birthday wishes recently. Thanks everyone for your precious greetings and birthday wishes. Thanks for the presents from everyone too.

Oops..nt sure if i've just done the right thing. Told her abt the disappointment and made her change her plan. Will she blame me, i wonder...hopefully things will go the way we want it to be. Alright, no more vcd tml, no computer games tml..simply just plain reading and studying..

The nightmare still floats around my mind, creating lots of disturbance to me. I almost can't take it. Luckily, assurance soothes my mind and heart down. Yesterday is really a terror, a bad day..but everything's now over and alright after some nice talking. I can't promise i'll live up to your expectations but i'll try. I know i hasn't been good the past few days, i've already reflect on myself and know what to do. Yes, we may think very differently, but it's just how we click, adapt to each other that matters more.

"A man who never makes his beloved angry is a failure in life" --- Read this somewhere and it's just so true., isn't it..

Celebrated my birthday in advanced. Almost a week before my actual birthday. My 1st ever birthday party. Thanks everyone for coming. Received my very 1st present from Dear. Afterwhich, followed by my aunty and one by one, presents starts coming in. Dad and mum have been rushing around, helping me with this party, and also not forgetting my aunty who's the great cook of the famous curry that as everyone talking about it. If not for my Dear, this party's also not possible. Expected crowd turned up, luckily. Everyone just starts to come an hour after the actual time. Had a few photographs taken, shall post it up soon. I think the best part of the party is the cutting of the birthday cake. Cut the cake with my beloved. The feeling is just so lucky. When they were singing the birthday song, i just feel a gush of embarrassment. The feeling is weird but nice. I feel so happy and lucky. Received lots of presents this year, shall post the photos of them up here soon. So far, that's only part one of my birthday celebration. This coming weekend, i'll receive more presents from my bro and my Dear. Surprises after surprises. This is really my best birthday of my life. I'm looking forward to this weekend. Dear's going to spoilt me i think..haa..

My bro might be going for overseas attachment for 3 and a half months. When i heard this news, i was thinking to myself - good riddance. Finally, i thought i can have some peace all to myself. But i think it's still going to be weird without him at home. Never mind, i think it will be a good training for him, time for him to learn how to live his life without taking things for granted. Hope he'll learn some lesson he ought to.

Have been cracking my brain of what to get for Dear for her birthday. I know it's still quite far away but it's never too early. I have to start preparing for her big day. Really hope her birthday spent with me will be one memorable one, one that she won't be able to forget. I want to make her birthday really happy on that very day.

Dad asked me where's my digital camera..out of the sudden, the feeling of sadness is pain. Heartache and sad. He reminded me of how i'm feeling when i just lost my digital camera. I'm going to save up and buy a new digital camera. It will be of good use i know..meanwhile, i shall put up with this mental torture.

Had a real bad nightmare. One that i never wanted it to happen. People always say u dream what u think so often of. Maybe it's true, what's the point of thinking so much..it's not going to happen..

Two days before, i was still feeling relieved over the recovery of Dear's eye. Two days from now, i'll be happily giggling away, celebrating my birthday with friends and relatives of mine. Tml's the damn guard duty. I know it's going to be a boring one but it's not going to spoil my mood for Saturday's party. Bought a Singtel prepaid card to prepare for the upcoming lonely night tml. That damn camp up til now still can't receive Starhub reception except certain areas. I'm still trying hard to figure out how many areas are there and where are they.

Two classmates out of course. One happy, the other sad. Cruel world with cruel superior. I'm glad that so far, i'm considered in the safe zone cos i've been a good boy, passing all the tests i ought to be passing.

Recently, i've been on a winning streak. Have been winning bets on soccer matches. Bets were small because it's just playing for fun, the feeling of winning, just gives u a sense of happiness. I love Man Utd.

Yesterday Dear gave me a letter in return as part of our 5 months together. Content was sweet and heart-warming. It made me think alot of our future. She's certainly not a materialistic girl, but i certainly hope that in the future, i am able to give her comfort in terms of materiality too. In our age now, gender should be equal. There's no such thing as who is more superior than who. Both sexes should be treated equally with respect and therefore, there's no such things as guys should do this instead of girls. Maybe it's all just because of the character and behaviour of how a girl and guy should have.

She still hasn't sms or call me. What's happening to her? Is she ok? So worried....

Happy 5th Month anniversary. Finally it's been 5 months since i'm together with Dear. Gave her a note and a packet of potato chips as compensation. Your real gift will arrive real soon, be patient Dear. As i was writing the note, alot run through my head. I'm sure i'm right on the track and we are considered stable and loving.

Yesterday night was scary. I didn't expect Dear's eyes to turn out to be so bad. In the evening, she only complained it to be abit irritated and the moment she called my after her bathe, she told me it's pain. I became so worried that i actually panic and get frustrated awhile. She listened to me and consulted a doctor. Poor her, the damn doctor can't detect anything but only gave her two type of eye drop. By then, Dear's eye has already taken a bad turn. It redden. I was so scared, she was there crying and all i could do is console her, assure my presence, making her feel better. She slept eventually and by the time i woke her up in the wee hours of the night, she's already fine. A great relief. I was able to sleep well at last, i was so worried abt her that i can't sleep well. Contact lens has never been a good replacement for specs as far as i'm concerned. Cos it has direct contact to the eyes, i hope this will be a good lesson. Dear, in future, if the contact lens starts to irritate ur eyes or even cause discomfort to you, even if it's only abit, do take it out and wear glasses instead. And remember, always bring a pair of glasses with you when u are out.

Chilled out with Dear after work at Mac just now. I find it quite a nice place to hang out. Shall go there more often with Dear. Watched Dragon Tiger Gate at Mac just now. The experience was nice. Shall go there more often. Tml's another day...can't wait..

Dear gave me a sweet surprise yesterday. She bought me this very nice Polo t-shirt which i spotted at a departmental store at Bishan the other time, but didn't buy it because it's cost quite expensive. It totally came as a surprise because she too agreed that the polo t-shirt was kinda ex. Really didn't expect that, thank you Dear. I'm going to wear it on this coming sat birthday party!

Yesterday finally met up with my friends. Dear met up with Regi too. It's been a long time since i last met Gavian and Don. Poor gav, something happen to him. It's the 1st time seeing him so depressed. I know it's hard for him. He gave me alot of advices, he tell me alot of things, he made me realised alot of things about relationship that i overlooked. I noticed there's alot more i should have done and could have done. Yesterday long talk with him makes me want to cherish my beloved more. It's not easy for two to come together easily, all the more we shouldn't just let it go like that. My confidence is almost shattered, and fear came. Somehow, i had this urge to call her and tell her i love her. I want to give her a warmest hug all of the sudden. I was so afraid i wasn't able to meet up, but luckily, everything went well. Had a nice sweet talk with Dear before i went home. Everything's well and hopefully, we can make things work out.

My birthday party's coming soon. The namelist is piling up. Just went to reserve the cake. It's the 1st time i had such a cake for birthday. Hope everything will go smoothly. I'm looking forward to that very day.

No good night sms...but the morning call make up for it..muacks! Feel so Heart-warming now..

It's another weekend pass..next week this time, i'll be celebrating my very 1st birthday party. Mum said i'm turning 21 soon, it's really time i grow up, plan for the future and look ahead. As much as i wanted to stay young at heart, i still have to move on. I'll look forward to next week now..

Today is such a lousy day. Everything didn't seems to go well and smooth. Sometimes, i just feel so disappointed with myself that keeps me pondering over and over again. Lotsa things make me come to realise that alot of things just aren't so simple. Relationships is a big qns mark still. I hate people who rob people off their feelings. I've come to realise that how a relationship can be so vulnerable. Past memories dun stand for what happen in the present. People become heartless once something just happens. They didn't think of how love is given, received, appreciated. Trust, confidence, relience, etc..all these words can actually kills. Sometimes it's not how much we trust a person but how we trust. Usually, wrong usage of trust would shatter the confidence of one. A close friend of mine said, NS men tends to be more depressed. I totally agree but to what extend should we not show it out to our loved ones for who can really understand how we NS men feels, seriously not much, almost down to none.

People not responsible towards their partner is certainly those i depise most on. Some may say flings are nothing but seriously i find it super irresponsible. Ewww, i can't imagine all that, i find it disgusting even. Phui...

I really regretted what i did today. So apologetic that it made me guilty for the whole of today, and i guess, for the days to come even.

Watched Rob-B-Hood today. A super nice and funny movie, which really touching scenes that almost send my tears flowing down. I was thinking,it's really nice to be able to have a kid of your own, to raise it up and love it like a precious diamond. How i wish i have a kid of my own..

Wonderful weekend. 1st time i spent 2 nights straight at Dear's house. Both nights stay was unexpected. Friday had some really bad news on my next posting. No one wanted to be posted back to PAD (Pierce Ammo Depot). It's a place i never wanted or wished to go. It's hell. Staying in is a sure thing the moment someone stepped into PAD. I really hope the rest of my NS life would just past smoothly. Staying in is certainly something i wouldn't want to.

Met up with Dear after work, as always, she managed to smoothen my mood. Had actually wanted to play some candles, sparklers and paper lantern before heading for home but who knows the moment i got off the lorry, her mum actually allows me to stay over. Woot...so happy, bought this very nice Fried Hokkien Noodles. I'm just too happy for anything else. The rest of the night was spent slacking around.

Next time, didn't managed to wake up early enough to go for Dear's tuition. Gosh, sleeping over is just so comfortable and cosy that i wouldn't want to wake up. Rest of the day basically is just nua-ing with Dear at her house. Haa, watched the new police story with Dear. Actually, nua-ing with Dear ain't such a bad idea afterall. All the way until night, mood starts to get heavy again. Thought of having to go back home after sending Dear home from tuition just makes me feel not right. I'm so reluctant. I was hoping and praying that I'm able to stay over for another night. All went well and YES!, i was able to stay for another night. Really unexpected.

I'm beginning to feel the acknowledgement. She said her mum really likes me, even tried bonding me and her sister together. I hope i can make them like my own family and vice versa. It's a good feeling. That very night, i watched Hua Zhu Ge Ge once again. Funny scenes makes me think back how my whole family used to catch this drama like mad. But yesterday night was quite scary. I think it's just me. Heard noises from the living room, but i think it's more like the horror show that we watched earlier on that makes my mind uneasy. Dear even ignored me for a period of time, she's just too tired i understand. But i'm scared of out my wits. Lucky, Dear still managed to wake up, stand by me. Phew, she woke up, and really out of the sudden, my fears all vanished. It was overclouded by the concern and love Dear showed. Held her hands til i saw myself entering the dreamland.

Sent Dear for her last tuition of this year. Over the past few months, i've been sending Dear to tuition. I never expect myself to be able to wait for her for 1 and a half hour to finish her tuition. Those memories is something i can't bear to let go and they shall remain in my mind. I really miss those times. It's sweet to me, maybe she don't know, but all i can say is i enjoy every moment of it. Past few days has pass in just a blink of an eye. Now i'm missing her. I shall countdown to this friday again where i'll be enjoying myself once again. Monday to thursday better pass by fast!

Haze has been kind of bad recently. Yesterday's PSI even shoot up to 170++. But today PSI went back way low. Dear must take good care. Sis too...hope you are feeling better..

Miss her

Today is full of disappointments..Disappointment after disappointment..will tml be a better day?

Styled my short short hair for the 1st time since 21st July. When i say styled, i mean spiked my that very very short hair of mine. Though it's still short, at the very least, it stands up and not flat down like a coconut head. I shall meet up with Dear and see if she's able to spot it. Haa..

Thanks Dear for buying mooncake for my family and me. There's chocolate flavour mooncake. I've never tried before, Dear purposely bought that flavour mooncake all because she knew i like chocolate. Thankszz..Mooncake festival is coming, very near, tml to be exact. It's been donkey years since i last played with candle, sparklers and paper lantern. Still remember vauguely the last time i played all that was nearly more than 5 years back with my bro. It's always good to be able to play what u used to play when u were yong especially when it seems a little bit childish but all is only for the fun of it. I wanted to relive this memories with my Dear. Hopefully, i'll be ablt to do it. *pray*

Recently, tests has been loading up very fast. Test every 2 days with the chapters and topics to study getting more and more each time. I'm glad that i've never fail any of my test yet. Hopefully, this can carry on. Dear's goodluck has never been better, i'm sure i can do it.

-Miss Dear-

Today is quite eventful i would say. I don't know why. In the morning, i'm still feeling restless with my heart feeling heavy, up til just now, i was so happy. The thought of Dear just makes me happy. She makes my day as always.

Thankfully for Rayvee, i'm able to chat with Dear today. If not for me, i'll be passing today with low morale. Today test wasn't too difficult, maybe because i did some last minute prepartory work. Dear did something real sweet today. Just before i'm preparing to go for my test today, she called me, even though she thought i might have already off my mobile phone. She wished me goodluck. That 2 words 'goodluck' is simple yet carries sooo much meaning at that point of time. I'm high on hopes and happy.

In the end, i didn't disappoint her and myself. 44/60 for MCQ, isn't that bad a result right. Well, i suppose so. I need another 6 more marks to get past the passing mark. Rest of the day was spent missing her, thinking abt her and sleeping. Slacking day i would say. Hope tml would be like that too.

Poor Dear hasn't been happy at work. Gossips kills. I agreed totally. Sometimes, words can speak louder than action. One don't necessarily have to punch a person on the cheat to make the person feel hurt. Especially aunties who's suffering from Menopause whereby they tend to go bonkers every now and then. If someone is really out to get you, there's really no way to hide it. All u can do is to just ignore it. By reacting negatively, it would only make you yourself more painful and dropping into the trap she set. She wants to backstab you, she wants to sabo you, she just wants u dead. Don't make her do all that, don't let things get her way. Phui..Dear, ignore her! Time will pass faster thinking of me, chatting with people u are comfortable with. Trust me, whatever happens, i'm here. Pop me a sms and before u know you, i'm there for you.

Love is selfish. That's so true. I think i've been sticking onto Dear so much so that she feels that she really needs time for herself and some other stuff. I feel so bad. I feel useless yet again. I'm so sorry Dear. I need time to adapt. I love this honeymoon period and if possible, i don't want it to end at all, cos i love my life now. I'm contented with what i have and i want and hope it stays the way it is. I'm very very relieved to hear that if i can't change, i'll let u know. I know that even if i failed, u are still there for me. That very sentence touches the bottom of my heart and make me feel so loved. I'm glad that u were there for me. Thank you for taking part of your time during work, lunch, sleep just to accompany me. I appreciate that and love you!

Dear, sometimes, u have to find out the reason behind certain things. Who choose to leave u alone 1st? How hard have u tried before things actually turn out that way. How much have u cried over all that matter? It always hurts me at that period of time. Just when i thought it's already blown away, it came back again. I seriously hope this time round, dun let your feelings set in so deep for i don't want u to get hurt again. Love you Dear..

Hearing what's said by papa and mama about didi just now makes me feel how important it is for two person st stay together. I'm glad i'm doing fine, in fact alot better. I don't know why i've such a brother. It takes lots of understanding, tolerance and trust in a relationship. I'm building it still, but i'm sure my relationship has no lack of that. I'm just going to cherish Dear...Muacks!

I feel so lost. Whole night i couldn't sleep well. I reflect on what was said. I then realised i'm abit useless. I can't seems to control my emotions well. Luckily by that time, she's already asleep. I don't know how in the future it will turn out but i hope it won't turn out badly but turn out the way she wants it to be. Hope she can be happy. Miss her...

Dear's gone home. She forgot to take out the SINGTEL sim card from the mobile phone that she's going to sell. Die! I just knew it's going to be tough tml. Won't be able to hear her voice for long tml..sob..Damn Starhub. Apparantly, my camp only receive reception from Singtel and M1 but not starhub. Singtel gets the best reception all because of the 2 big singtel statelite behind the camp. Oh damn, what am i going to do tml. Can't call her during work is already worse enough, worse still, not that my lunchtime and morning time i can't even call or sms her. Shucks! Ahhh....

This weekend i must say is one that i've been waiting for. Everyday at work is really a torture. Weekend is really the time i need, to save myself from those torture, to be free of lessons, tests, exams and stupid things from camp. Sometimes, i just wish i get out of course and they would post me to somewhere near my house to be a clerk, but all that are just wishful thinking of mine. As usual, the fetching of Dear Dear to and fro isn't troublesome at all. We had wanted to catch Rob-b-hood, but didn't cos somehow it clash with Dear tuition. Not to worry, i'm going to catch it next week no matter what, so let me pray, time please pass faster. Saturday please come!!

~The Monokuro.Boo Photo Frame~

Finally bought a Monokuro.Boo photo frame. Both me and Dear are starting to love Monokuro.Boo series of stuff. We find is cute and just like it, it's simple which to them it's best. Simple is best..how great. Put our photo in that very frame. Finally, there's a photo of us in my room. Kicha! The room now is so quiet and empty. It's so different from afternoon. I miss those moments just now. Come back!!!

I don't feel like studying now..not in any mood to study..my heart's still feeling very heavy. I wasted the night away yesterday, i regretted so much. I wanted her to study too, but at the same time, i want to let her rest and sleep. I feel so useless at that point of time. I said before i want to make sure she study but i failed. Now i feel very bad. But i can understand, who wants to study. It's a weekend, who wants and likes to study on this very day. I'm really scared that Dear can't cope with her studies..i wanted to know that i really want to help her...but i don't know how..

Just watched finish a movie called 'Millionaire 1st Love'. It's a korean romance movie. A very nice and touching movie. It has some meaningful content. I'll cherish Dear alot..