Eww..i hate coffee..As much as i like the smell of it, the taste of it just seems so different with the smell. I tried plenty of times to try and fall in love with this amazing drink. I tried replacing tea with coffee but each attempt to do that always failed. Be it pure coffee drink, coffee flavoured stuff or basically anything to do with coffee, i can't stand it. Today coffee made me vomit. Ewww...yucks! I Hate COFFEE!!!

Finally Friday is here. A day i've always been waiting for since every sunday night comes. I'm going to enjoy my whole lot of time with Dear tml. Hooray!! Mum and bro's away. I can have the whole house for myself but sadly, there's still dad. I still can't claim this house as mine own. Don't care, i shall own it for as long as i can..

Wee!! Dear sent me a gdnight sms. I totally didn't expected it. Usually, Dear would fall asleep right after she starts to get sleepy. Her sweet goodnight sms make me so happy til i can't get to sleep. Wahaha..She said she hasn't been sweet recently, actually, she's sweet to me everyday. Love you!

Woot! Today is a happy happy day! Fetching Dear from places to places had never been better. The feeling is always good. Waking up early in the morning with something to expect, hmm, i like that kinda feeling. As usual, Dear would be lazing around on her bed and in the end, she turned up late for tuition. Haa, she's cute when she's sleepy.

Nth much today and was just lazing at home. And finally it's time to head for Don house for his Birthday Party. Happy Birthday Don!! Dear's dress in her nicest today. To me, Dear can be very pretty if she wants to. Went to Don's party. Pretty alright, i was thinking if mine would be like his. Food was nice, his parents as friendly as ever, Donna always happy-go-lucky and lotsa people i don't know too. Bought him a pair of shoes, hope he like it.

Afterwhich I and Dear headed back home. Pass by Pasar Malam and so we bought some food. We bought this otah from this malay store. It's super nice. Dear was busy cooling down her tongue as the otah was too spicy for her, well, as for me, it's taste especially nice. Just couldn't get enough of it. It's certainly one of the nicest otah i've ever eaten. Dear didn't managed to stay overnight my house tonight for fear that next week stay would be burned away. Aww, a little bit wasted. I just can't wait for next week to come!!

Sunshine after a heavy downpour. I'm relieved. I'm apologetic. Had my very 1st weekend started today ever since my vocation started out. For the past few days, day is passed slowly. I'm basically rotting under this training shelter for hours. It's like waiting for lunch then after lunch, u wait to go home. I can only say i'm starting to adapt to the new environment there. Thanks to my friends there and of cos my Dear Dear..Army life is starting to take shape but still i really hope it would get better after today. Had my very 1st lesson today. It was as bad as anything that u can imagine. I have tons of terms to memorise. Ammunitions, grenades, propellers, bullets, just bascially anything u can think of and has anything to do with explosives or ammo. Gosh, it's been years since i last took an exam or test, i seriously wonder how am i going to handle all that. Worse thing is, the test in on monday and i only had sunday to prepare myself for the TEST!

Had crystal jade today. It's been a long time since i had such a nice dinner. Going on double dates isn't that bad afterall. The feeling was nice, really nice. I really enjoyed today. Finally bought Don's birthday present. I'm broke officially this month. I'll be munching on bread in recent days to come. Poor Dear is going to suffer with me. Tml is going to be a good day, i can foresee...

Where is my Dear Dear....

Happy 18th Birthday Didi. May all your birthday wishes come true.

Didi celebrated his birthday today. He started he birthday lowly and as per normal. He went for work as usual. His real birthday celebration starts with him celebrating with his girlfriend. Nice and sweet of his girlfriend to make him birthday cards. It's so nicely drawn that both my mum and me couldn't believe it's drawn by her. When he reached home, he held a plastic bag that's full of presents. Envy envy envy..i wonder will i get alot of presents this year too..Wahaha..

Mum bought didi a nice mango ice cream birthday cake. I'm not really interested but did loves it, it's his birthday, of cos shld buy a cake according to his preference. We celebrated didi birthday with a birthday song, didi making a birthday wish, cutting a cake and eating the cake. Didi receive the most practical presents ever from both papa and mama which is Hong Baos with $$$ inside. Woot! I wonder how much will i get on my birthday itself..$$money faced now$$. Anyway, happy birthday to didi once again and shall pass him his belated birthday present tml.

Happy 18th Birthday Didi. May all your birthday wishes come true.

Didi celebrated his birthday today. He started he birthday lowly and as per normal. He went for work as usual. His real birthday celebration starts with him celebrating with his girlfriend. Nice and sweet of his girlfriend to make him birthday cards. It's so nicely drawn that both my mum and me couldn't believe it's drawn by her. When he reached home, he held a plastic bag that's full of presents. Envy envy envy..i wonder will i get alot of presents this year too..Wahaha..

Mum bought didi a nice mango ice cream birthday cake. I'm not really interested but did loves it, it's his birthday, of cos shld buy a cake according to his preference. We celebrated didi birthday with a birthday song, didi making a birthday wish, cutting a cake and eating the cake. Didi receive the most practical presents ever from both papa and mama which is Hong Baos with $$$ inside. Woot! I wonder how much will i get on my birthday itself..$$money faced now$$. Anyway, happy birthday to didi once again and shall pass him his belated birthday present tml.

My new vocation isn't that good, at least it's not to be. I both happy and unhappy of this vocation - Ammo Technician. Happy because it's like going to sch, learning stuff everyday, carrying with you only a file around and not only that, but it's a 8am - 5:30pm vocation. Which means, i can get to enjoy mum's homecooked food, i can get to sleep my comfortable bed at night, i can get to see dear after work and chat with her til late at night. Unhappy simply because i'm still not used to this environment, unhappy because i have to surrender my mobile phone the moment i'm inside camp which means no calling or sms-ing to Dear Dear. That makes me miss her alot but fear not, cos that makes my heart grows fonder. Time with her became as important and as precious as a diamond. In this camp (SAF Ammunition Command), everything is very strict. The thought of maybe having to stay in after i get posted out after 3 months makes me just sian-ed. I'm only in this camp for 3 months til 12 Dec and afterwhich, i'll be posted to several ammo depot to serve the rest of my NS life there. The thought of maybe having to return to Tekong to go through live range shooting makes my heart go down. But i'm just not going to think about that and just try to enjoy my 3 months at this new camp. I realised that many do not want be to feel so sian, i shall buck up and not make them worry too much for me. At the same time, i want to pour out all unhappiness. I know she'll be there for me.

Lately, i have been abit unreasonable towards Dear. It's simply just that i'm still not used to not being able to call her whenever i want and the time i have with her has greatly decreased. There's alot of things she has to commit and meanwhile i fail to understand that. I promise i'll learn. Just that sometimes, all i need is some assurance. Dear, don't mind too much what people say. Each time someone says something about us or you, don't be afraid that u'll get teased or make fun of. Who cares about them, if u are going to let what they say, it will only make them achieve what they intend to and only make urself more miserable. Do what u intend initially, do what u think it's right and what makes u really really happy. Sometimes, i really didn't feel anything from you because it's just u not to show it out often. But deep in my heart, i know it, i never doubt you. Just that dear wants to see it. Thank you for being so forgiving towards me, allowing this lousy boyfriend of yours to learn. I really really felt your importance especially recently, it's so strong that i can't explain. Each time before i meet or call you, it seems that there's alot of my mind i want to tell you, but each time i met you or called you, my mind just went blank. I just want to heae your voice, feel as if i'm with you. Then after we said bye, the feeling is back again. I can't explain what feeling is that but all i know is that i love my Dear.

I just can't wait to hear her voice again. No mood to continue this post alrdy...to be continue...

Time flies..It seems that it's just yesterday when i'm still jumping in joy and hugging Dear upon the news that her dad let her stay over at my house. I say bye to her just now reluctantly. I dislike that feeling. It's the same feeling of how i feel when i used to sent her to her void deck lift and had to say bye to her. Whenever that moment comes, u feel like saying alot of things, but none just came out of the mouth. But i know she knows what i'm going to say.

Dear and i are both hooked on playing maple together with each other. We had lots of fun. I really hope she does enjoy playing it. I can't wait for her to come my house again and play maple. Hmm, wondering if she's coming on the 30th or not..*pray and hope*

Tml is the start of another phase of my NS life. I've lots of question marks all over my head. I really hope it will be a smooth day tml. Maybe not just for yesterday but the rest of my National Service. There's alot up on my mind now, luckily, Dear's there for me..

Happy is my mood now. I'm in an especially good mood now. Dear's staying my house for another night. So so so happy. It's not easy to have Dear to stay my house for straight two nights. It's a special moment. Just before i thought im going to be lonely thinking about the monday vocation, this happens. Blessing i must say.

I forgot to mention in my previous posts how Dear's my lucky star. Since BMT, i realised i'm not that unlucky. Things that's bad did not fall on me, i guess it's must be the lady luck that i'm having with me. Even my vocation which seems to be the most difficult one to believe. I actually got somewhere near my house and her school, not only that, i need not stay in. Shiok!

Recently, Dear has been troubled over her studies. Her new term has started, new subjects that she has never deal with, thus she fret over the books that she's required to buy or own. Seeing her fret over all that, i really wish i could do my bit to help her. I went to her school library to hunt for those books, helped her photocopy and i don't mind doing any this. Please don't feel bad Dear. Cos that's only the least i can do. Another thing, it's seriously better to buy a brand new book, one that i own it 1st hand, 1st time. I know it might be abit expensive but i'm sure it's worth the buy. U not only need it, but also, seeing a brand new book is just different from a 2nd hand one. I want to chip in abit..Anything u need, please let me know.

Yay, played maple with Dear today. The feeling is just so fun. Hehe..i want to get married in maple!! Can't wait..

Happy 4th Month Anniversary Dear! Muacks!

My main maple character is finally level 77.

Just got my vocation - Ammo technician at SAF ammo comd. It's located at somewhere in the east, not that far from my house, i'm glad. But i'm afraid at the same time too. Handling with weapons and ammo can be fearful cos any mistakes can proved to be costly. One can get charged with just one small mistakes. Let's hope i'll be used to the job scope and handle it well. Luckily, i was told i need not stay in, which means there's still Mum's homecooked food, there's still late night chatting with Dear, there's still maple and lastly a nice bed to sleep in.

Cook a nice meal for the family today. Actually it's just for mum and Dear. Glad the dishes turned out to be quite ok. Mum like it, Dear's happy with me. I'm just too humble to comment. I love my cooking and loved it when u see people saying the food i cooked is not bad. I'm floating.wahaha..it's always a pleasure and enjoyment to cook for your loved ones. No wonder there's a saying that goes, to captures the heart of the person u love, captures the person's stomach 1st. It's true to a great extent. Whipping up a meal for your loved ones is something that's sweet, be it whether your food turns out to be good or not, it's always the thoughts that count. So whip up something pple!

Recently has been making Dear angry. So sorry i hasn't been a good recently. I promised i'll be better. Love u lots!

Don's birthday coming...Jon's birthday just passed. Happy Belated Birthday Jonnie Boy!

Life has really been great ever since my block leave started. I'm really enjoying myself so far. Everything seems ok except for the fact that i'm kind of poor because what i get per month is only a mere 350 bucks by SAF. Anyway, i won't get to spend much money. Most of my money spent is on food.

Was abit shagged because i chiong maple with Don through the night. In the end, both of us didn't reach the targeted level that we aimed for. Supposedly to wake up early to continue our 'adventure', but laziness and tiredness got the better of us. We slept through the early morning and didn't played much. Lunch today was great. It's one of the best lunch i ever had with Dear. The travelling may seem long but to me, it's always special. The feeling is just so tingly sweet - the feeling of being able to meet someone whom u misses, and the thought of able to see her, eat with her and spend time with her even just for awhile. Today's her 1st lesson of the new module. I'm happy that i can send her to school. Well, thjat's the very least i can do for her, a way of showing my support for her. Really hope she can enjoy her studies and know that she's not alone.

Glad she's enjoying her monday classess. Hopefully, the other two day is just as good. Just now we were talking about how marriages can't be based just on love alone. Actually, that has to be true to a certain extent. A relationship can't survive on just love alone, but a relationship certainly cannot do without love. It's how we maintain it that keeps it going..so, i'll really treasure whoever's with me now..

Oh gosh, i'm still coughing. Obviously til now, the cough syrup isn't helping. Now even Dear kena my virus and is starting to cough. I want to see a doctor!!!

Many at times, things won't not go your way. But it's how u try and make things right, how u convince people and proof people wrong or proof to them that u can do it. I'm finding it tough to keep it going and will still find it tough in future. But i'm not giving up. I'm just trying to progress step by step. The impression i leave might not be good but i'm not going to give up. Yes, i may feel sad and disappointed by the response i get. Sometimes, i feel cold and unwelcome when i'm at her house. Yet sometimes, i feel so loved and heart-warming. She assured me nothing is going to happen. That assurance makes my heart float freely. I'm not going to think of what might happen and what might not, instead, i'll just think of how am i going to make things right. I want everyone to acknowledge this relationship of ours. It might be tough but it 's not impossible. The response i get in the future might be discouraging but i'm sure constant assurance and effort will help. No matter what, all i need is time, or rather all we need is time. I'm sure, someday..yes, someday, i'll be truly truly be part of her family, her life..

Don's coming to chiong maple with me. Finally Dear set her hands on the keyboard today playing maple. Amazingly, she played through 3 levels! I really hoped she enjoyed it. She was saying how she wish she could take my computer home. I had this urge to really save up a sum of money and buy a laptop with her. Today, didi and Dear talked. Yes, somehow i feel this is the start to erase the unfamiliar uneasiness between didi and her. Things are going to smooth. My mama miss Dear...actually i'm more like it to be the one missing her.

Counting down, i'm only left with one week to really rot, slack and spend time to do the things i want. I want to spend lotsa time with Dear while i could. I'm disappointed upon the news that she can't stayover this week. But i'm sure we could enjoy each other company on the phone or outside as well. I just hope this week will be a great one and i'll spend it wisely. Meanwhile, i'm more and more worried about my vocation. I really hope to get somewhere near my house. I don't want to get anywhere which is super far from my hse. All the more i would not want to stay in. A 8-5 job vocation is the best thing i can ever ask for at the moment. Please help me!!

Dear's eyes in pain..i'm loss for words when i heard what she say. It's real scary how her eyes become like that. Contact lens..I hate them. I've seen people take out and put contact lens before. It just yucks me. I couldn't even bear to touch my eye ball. It's a real hassle to put on contact lens. And also to take care or maintain it. Let's hope Dear's eyes will be ok by tml.

Man utd winning. 1st match i watched this season. They play quite alright. Now it's halftime. They are leading 1-0. Thanks to my hero - Ryan Giggs..Everyone hail him. Hmm...so bored now...shall wait for the 2nd half to start...sianzz

I cooked again today. Finally. I love cooking. The feeling it gives me is simply great. Today is Dear's 1st time trying my dried noodle. She claimed that it's nice. My whole family who tried before gave the same comment too. It seems that i badly want to make kitchen my favourite place but it seems so not possible with grumpy mum around. I was thinking to myself, next time in the future, i shall be the cook of the house. I shall whip up nice dishes for my family, sastifying their stomachs. Whole day was spent rotting with Dear. Went shopping with her. Just realised that the simplest things in life can simply just be me and her going out walking around, that can be the greatest thing ever. Precious time tickling away in this manner to me is good. We were just enjoying each other company. Tml i'm going to shop again. The thought of being able to walk around with her and eat just makes me smile. Tml shall come faster than i can expect.

Rented this VCD about seduction. It's a korean movie called Art of Seduction. Funny show which makes me wonder how seduction can be good or naughty. Wahaha..seduction is quite a tough job i would say. U either do it successfully and get the person under your control or u either screwed it up and ended up being a big dumb fool.

Maple maple maple. Don don's the same lvl as me. Haa..once i was 10 level more than him and today, he's of the same level as me. I'm still enjoying maple. I want to share my joy of playing maple with Dear but it seems the game doesn't really interest her. I shall try and train her character for it to be fun enough for her to play. How i wish i can have a laptop. Then i'll be able to carry it around the house. The thing i miss most after i came out from Tekong is food. I miss food like crazy - teppanyaki, tibits, steamboat, seafood..wahaha..mum mum!!

Tml i'm going to eat sushi. Sushi lovers, envy me!! I shall go watch Man Utd win Tottenham now and wait for Dear's call...ciao!

Today's a weird day. Woke up feeling like a big super sotong. I was kinda not myself today. Dragged myself around the house. Maybe that's what will happen after staying in for Tekong for soo long and the change of environment kind of stuck me. Lunchtime is what i'm waiting for. This will continue to be the case for the next few working days. It's not common to have lunch with Dear anymore. My new vocation's starting soon, so might not have the chance anymore.

Finally met up with Farhan. This lazy bum finally met me up with his newly cut botak head. He look super funny without his cap on. Wahaha..i'm just happy that i look much better botak than him. As always, we would go around crapping with each other. Did alot of catching up today. Tml will be his 1st time taking plane. Hmm, he;s going thailand. Thailand's my dad favourite vacation country. Somehow, i don't really like it.

Was troubling where to go with Dear since her tuition was cancelled. As mentioned, my mind isn't working today and it's all blank. I had this sudden urge to relive those memories. Instead, we went to Junction 8. Finally bought our puzzle frame, yay!! Going to make our 1st jigsaw puzzle. Wanted to catch little man but in the end, we missed it after much wishy washy.

Had a chat with Dear. Chatted about our future. I would greatly prefer her not to me a very career-minded woman. The movie 'click' really taught a good lesson. I don't want Dear to be an old hag after getting married too. We'll be 2 working adults taking care of children of our own. There's so much about future to talk about. I've more or less thought of what to do after i ORD. I have to start planning already.

I've come up with the guest list. My birthday party will be at my house. The celebration would be at 21st October. Those invited, hope you are gladly make it for my birthday party. More details will be up soon..

I miss those days where we would buy candy floss, kacang puteh and ice-cream and we'll walk to raffles place and sit by the river, chit chat and spend time together. I miss those moments where i feel so cosy at her house at night, feel so heart-warming when she's at my house. I miss those days where we would go out after work, loitering around. I miss those days where i would fetch her to and fro from wherever to wherever. Miss her voice now...

I finally found back myself. It's only back at home that i feel that i'm i myself. Here i am, in wee hour of the night, happily typing away in this once so personal computer of mine.

I've said bye to Tekong, been through 7 weeks of crap / rubbish / torture. Life certainly has changed abit ever since i got enlisted. Recruit is no longer in my dictionary. Now i shall introduce myself - Private Low. From the day i cut my hair botak til today, happenings are everywhere and every now and then. Army life in tekong is certainly not good but it isn't as bad i thought it would turned out to be. I'm excused from lots of stuff. I'm excused Sunlight (which means marching or any outdoor training under the torturous sun, i'm excused), excused field camp, excused route march, excused swimming, excused live range and excused grenade throw. Basically what i do there is listen to crap, eat and sleep. It's like a chalet to me, a restricted chalet. The conception of most people is that boy who enter BMTC (Basic Military training Centre) will come out as a true man who has grown independent and tougher. That's only very true to a very small extent. What's being taught is actually considered useless.

I've spend more money on NS so far than i received from them. They always talk about letting us have a good and memorable experience in BMTC. Sure, i did have memorable experience in BMTC but most for the wrong reasons. I'm so 'lucky' to kena guard duty. That guard duty was a memorable one. It was real creepy to patrol around the 'haunted' island. Dim lights didn't helped much to lessen my fear. It's really scary and that guard duty experience really freaked and shagged me out. Another bad experience is confinement. I was yet again 'luckily' confined. Confined just because i left my rifle alone with my physical body just 4 steps away for my rifle. All my intention was to put it on the floor so i could help my friend with the tent setting up, but was caught instead and sent for confinement instead. The feeling of not being able to spend ur weekend outside with ur loved ones and spent it in a place where u hated alot sux. However, i've made some great friends, met some interesting people and seen some ugly and stupid idiots. It's the 1st time i share the same bunk with 12 others guys, showered naked with 7 other guys at one time and also riot/crap/suffer together. Now that everything has some to an end, which means it's another beginning. Once i get my vocation next week, it's another beginning again.

It's one obstacle down. We overcome it, successfully. I must say, our relationship is much much better, stable. We had lotsa conflicts along the way but all those are settled, all for the better. I've known more of her and vice versa. We have also learned how to maintain our relationship well. Love is not everything yet it's something close to that everything. All i can say that it's powerful. It can make u feel jealous, happy, sad, angry...It can even make u a better person. It certainly has made me one and is still making. I've realised the shortcomings that i don't know in the past, i've also realised how i can treat a person better. I've learnt what is it like to maintain relationship with her, with my parents and others. I want to be a better boyfriend. She's certainly worth every mile i go. We've progressed steadily and well. Everything is going on well and our love right now sees a bright future ahead. Love her..

For the past 7 weeks, i've not been updating myself with the outside world and happenings. I almost forgot what is it like. Many things happen within this period of time. Jon had a new gf, Don's leg has recovered. I was sick twice during this period and is still sick. Dear's sick too. I want to take care of her. She needs me, i know that. I'll just hope she recover soon. Seeing her so sick make my heart aches. Get well soon Dear..