I've been put to taste the awful, terrible and near unbearable feeling yet again. The last time i had this feeling, was 4 years plus ago. Nothing filled my heart except for ultimate disbelief as well as utter disappointment. Anguish disguised me.
Lots of moments came into my mind. On how i went through so much, yet when it boils down to the very last one, it just breaks it all - my heart, my wish, my expectation....
Been through the worst at last night, where seconds feels like hours. I suppose in life, everything comes to an end, when you hit the climax, you just have to fall, vice versa, when you hit rock bottom and the worst, things can only get better...
Since i'm given one last shot, i should heed the advice of the girl, and just give it my best, within my possible means. Wish me goodluck seriously, i desperately need it....
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
You Are What You Think
What happens if it's a challenge you see
Go head on or instead try to flee
It does matter cos eventually
The path is only yours to proceed
It's all in the mind...
Go head on or instead try to flee
It does matter cos eventually
The path is only yours to proceed
It's all in the mind...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Enjoy what you can, Endure what you must
Life is pretty much the same ever since I'm done with school. It's all work and work and still work, still glad that ultimately I can squeeze time out of that bizzzeee work schedule to have personal time on my own, and of course, while waiting for my results to be out.
Have been contemplating about the 'life after graduation' but i reckon staying in that comfort seems a pretty good but definitely not a long term idea / goal. It doesn't help when work starts to take a turn and all i can expect in coming weeks are nothing but loads of work coming my way. I will have to 'heartlessly' abandon the girl while i slog my guts out over at the NATAS fair.
Poor her will still have to work like a cow as well over her side. It's definitely going to be a tough period, so tough i can't wish 10 September come fast. That will definitely be the only time i'm going to have some real fun after this crazy week / period is over.
Probably that's one of the many sources of motivation I have. It kind of pushes me through that tough period, admist the support and understanding the girl had given me. Weekends are really way too short, that how i wish every weekend is a long weekend.
Probably it's never easy in life, that's why the saying goes: work hard and play hard too. Therefore, whenever it's time to enjoy, it should just let my hair out and enjoy / indulge whenever i can and when it's time to work, i'll just have to hang in there and slog it all out.
Enjoy what you can, Endure what you must.......
Have been contemplating about the 'life after graduation' but i reckon staying in that comfort seems a pretty good but definitely not a long term idea / goal. It doesn't help when work starts to take a turn and all i can expect in coming weeks are nothing but loads of work coming my way. I will have to 'heartlessly' abandon the girl while i slog my guts out over at the NATAS fair.
Poor her will still have to work like a cow as well over her side. It's definitely going to be a tough period, so tough i can't wish 10 September come fast. That will definitely be the only time i'm going to have some real fun after this crazy week / period is over.
Probably that's one of the many sources of motivation I have. It kind of pushes me through that tough period, admist the support and understanding the girl had given me. Weekends are really way too short, that how i wish every weekend is a long weekend.
Probably it's never easy in life, that's why the saying goes: work hard and play hard too. Therefore, whenever it's time to enjoy, it should just let my hair out and enjoy / indulge whenever i can and when it's time to work, i'll just have to hang in there and slog it all out.
Enjoy what you can, Endure what you must.......
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Karoshi?
Perhaps not many has heard of this word 'karoshi'. It's a Japanese word which spells what could be surfacing in Singapore nowadays or even in future. The definition is a simple three word : Death By Overwork.
Common word in Japan, there is no wonder why it is common in the first place. At times, it makes me ponder that we Singaporean working adults, do we work to live or do we live to work? I once remember when i was in Japan, I was in a coach with my tour group, on our way back to our hotel in Tokyo. There we drove passed the main city passing by roads and highway. Office buildings were all around at this particular juncture. I look at those buildings, it's brightly lit up as though it's in a day, inside those windows, I see nothing but workers still working their ass off. Time check on my watch: 9.05pm. Look around you in Shenton Way or Raffles or even any office building, are those sights starting to appear, or even perhaps, they had even appeared.
In the objective to be tip top in the global economy, the government constantly strive its agencies as well as private companies to push forward, even until now. So much so, companies started to realise its consequences. The realization of futility of not having a private life came to minds.
Work-Life balance came to light in Year 2000. Companies are said to answer to the government's call and implement the policy gradually. But guess what, behind the surface, all I see was dirty employers, un-sympathetic nor unempathetic superiors all around. Pathetic as it is, I'm totally disgusted by this fact. I hate how work is consuming in the lives of locals. Imagine this: You wake up early for work, by the time you end work, it's so late you decided to skip dinner, and the moment you reach home, you hit the bed as soon as you're done with your washing up. Until the next day arrives, the routine starts all over again. Come weekend, you have to be mindful of what's going to happen next week and perhaps even do whatever you need to do in order to prepare for the next new working week. Holy crap.
I always though public service was a much better environment when it comes to welfare and work-life harmony, but it seems like everywhere is the same. Perhaps, it's high time i think twice about it. I treasure my private life as much as i do treasure my own life/health. Work is endless, but i don't want to end my life because of work tooo...
Common word in Japan, there is no wonder why it is common in the first place. At times, it makes me ponder that we Singaporean working adults, do we work to live or do we live to work? I once remember when i was in Japan, I was in a coach with my tour group, on our way back to our hotel in Tokyo. There we drove passed the main city passing by roads and highway. Office buildings were all around at this particular juncture. I look at those buildings, it's brightly lit up as though it's in a day, inside those windows, I see nothing but workers still working their ass off. Time check on my watch: 9.05pm. Look around you in Shenton Way or Raffles or even any office building, are those sights starting to appear, or even perhaps, they had even appeared.
In the objective to be tip top in the global economy, the government constantly strive its agencies as well as private companies to push forward, even until now. So much so, companies started to realise its consequences. The realization of futility of not having a private life came to minds.
Work-Life balance came to light in Year 2000. Companies are said to answer to the government's call and implement the policy gradually. But guess what, behind the surface, all I see was dirty employers, un-sympathetic nor unempathetic superiors all around. Pathetic as it is, I'm totally disgusted by this fact. I hate how work is consuming in the lives of locals. Imagine this: You wake up early for work, by the time you end work, it's so late you decided to skip dinner, and the moment you reach home, you hit the bed as soon as you're done with your washing up. Until the next day arrives, the routine starts all over again. Come weekend, you have to be mindful of what's going to happen next week and perhaps even do whatever you need to do in order to prepare for the next new working week. Holy crap.
I always though public service was a much better environment when it comes to welfare and work-life harmony, but it seems like everywhere is the same. Perhaps, it's high time i think twice about it. I treasure my private life as much as i do treasure my own life/health. Work is endless, but i don't want to end my life because of work tooo...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Onward or Remain?
It's a phase of life I've been looking forward and fear it coming at the same time. Now, I'm standing at this familiar crossroad after I'm finally done with my Academic life seemingly so.
Studying and working at the same time for the past 3-4 years hasn't been easy. More so that it can literally squeeze every single part of myself dry. This span of long period is indeed tough and never easy, yet I'm glad I went through it and at last, it paved its path for me somehow. It uncover interests I never knew exist, it gained me knowledge I've always believe it equipped me with even the most basic I'm glad I've learnt.
As I finally ended my last exam paper, possibly the very last one in my life, and exactly the longest I've ever been throughout this Degree programme, i let out a huge sigh which seems so silent yet doing the loudest shout of my inner feelings. This sigh spells all the efforts, sleepless, worries and desperate moments I had all these while. Of course, this wonderful ending which I interestingly relates it to that of a movie couldn't have been possible without the support of many, particularly my mother and the girl. My mother, a pillar of it, supported me throughout my education ever since after my poly days. Never once gave up on me, but thank god i finally grew up being sensible enough to be the boy she had always wanted to see, therefore, that trust existed. I'm glad she had one of the greatest birthday of her life. It dawned on me on how happy my mum was, so happy she even put on her prettiest as well as new shoes. So touched that i felt bad as her son. Nevertheless, an occasion i'll never forget, particularly of the food, atmosphere and company. The girl on the otherhand, accompanied the toughest and final lap of it, and made everything seem possible and easier through her unconditional motivation and effortless support.
It still seems far that, that cert is within reach but i hold high confidence I would have supposed to witness my very own proudest moment of my life, having proudly attended the Girl's. Never once had I feel so proud before as she took her step up and receive that and gave a warmly smile towards the camera. Though metres away, that moment, it felt like it's zoomed right it front and i could pause that moment in exchange for any others.
Work hasn't been smooth sailing, in particularly since the arrival of someone special. Not worth mentioning who, but definitely someone who's significant enough to piss me off, making me feel work is starting to be dreadful and exactly my goal two years back to leave the moment I am done with my degree programme. It's time once again to embark on this near impossible task to set my career right, this time round, even more so serious that before, considering the last milestone before i encounter my very next milestone of my lifelong wish.
Meanwhile, work shall feel like a 'one step at a time' feeling while i look forward to every weekend with the Girl...just like how i spent it over the weekend with a steamboat which seriously hit expectation negatively. Saturday was a bang with Tea cosy and all that Starhub drama before that. Sleepover was the highlight and the 6 of us had the time of our lives. It's all fun, play, eat and sleep throughout and I'm already missing it as soon as it ends.
Till next time....
Studying and working at the same time for the past 3-4 years hasn't been easy. More so that it can literally squeeze every single part of myself dry. This span of long period is indeed tough and never easy, yet I'm glad I went through it and at last, it paved its path for me somehow. It uncover interests I never knew exist, it gained me knowledge I've always believe it equipped me with even the most basic I'm glad I've learnt.
As I finally ended my last exam paper, possibly the very last one in my life, and exactly the longest I've ever been throughout this Degree programme, i let out a huge sigh which seems so silent yet doing the loudest shout of my inner feelings. This sigh spells all the efforts, sleepless, worries and desperate moments I had all these while. Of course, this wonderful ending which I interestingly relates it to that of a movie couldn't have been possible without the support of many, particularly my mother and the girl. My mother, a pillar of it, supported me throughout my education ever since after my poly days. Never once gave up on me, but thank god i finally grew up being sensible enough to be the boy she had always wanted to see, therefore, that trust existed. I'm glad she had one of the greatest birthday of her life. It dawned on me on how happy my mum was, so happy she even put on her prettiest as well as new shoes. So touched that i felt bad as her son. Nevertheless, an occasion i'll never forget, particularly of the food, atmosphere and company. The girl on the otherhand, accompanied the toughest and final lap of it, and made everything seem possible and easier through her unconditional motivation and effortless support.
It still seems far that, that cert is within reach but i hold high confidence I would have supposed to witness my very own proudest moment of my life, having proudly attended the Girl's. Never once had I feel so proud before as she took her step up and receive that and gave a warmly smile towards the camera. Though metres away, that moment, it felt like it's zoomed right it front and i could pause that moment in exchange for any others.
Work hasn't been smooth sailing, in particularly since the arrival of someone special. Not worth mentioning who, but definitely someone who's significant enough to piss me off, making me feel work is starting to be dreadful and exactly my goal two years back to leave the moment I am done with my degree programme. It's time once again to embark on this near impossible task to set my career right, this time round, even more so serious that before, considering the last milestone before i encounter my very next milestone of my lifelong wish.
Meanwhile, work shall feel like a 'one step at a time' feeling while i look forward to every weekend with the Girl...just like how i spent it over the weekend with a steamboat which seriously hit expectation negatively. Saturday was a bang with Tea cosy and all that Starhub drama before that. Sleepover was the highlight and the 6 of us had the time of our lives. It's all fun, play, eat and sleep throughout and I'm already missing it as soon as it ends.
Till next time....
