I want to welcome year 2007 with you and my friends. Does it seems so hard...i've always enjoyed my coundown with them and all those leave me with good memories. Memories that i wanted to create some more. In addition, it's my very 1st time with you, naturally and of cos, i want to spend it with you too.

I thought i could kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But it seems to hard now..i'm feel so cheated..i'm in your shadow all the while..ur promise is just something to hide your real feelings. You don't have that intention at all actually, yet u made it sound as if u did..i'm into it too...in the end, i fallen hard on the ground. Why is it that i could make the effort to meet your side of people..even i dunno know them at all, i still go ahead. Cos i feel that they are part of you..they are related to you, your families...to be with you, of cos i have to know them..let them know who am i to know, let them know more of me and vice versa..

Haiz..how will it be like...

It's another long weekend again...work has been slacking so far..Actually, doing nothing isn't a good thing afterall. With all those high ranking officers around, u have to act as though you are doing something when there actually simply nothing for u to do. But these slacking days would be over all and come wednesday, everyone would be back and the busy days will come..

Guard duty on wednesday just brings me back to the 1st time when i did my 1st ever guard duty out of tekong. The 1st time i did guard duty, it was quite a good one. For the next day is what i look forward to. But this time round, at the very same place, guard duty wasn't that good. I've to work after my guard duty unlike the previous time whereby i get to go home. Lucky for me, Dear was there when i was prowling. Thanks Dear!!

My maple is kinda dead. My 2x card was kinda wasted. I've been training with parties and have made quite a few maple friends. I can't wait to max my holy symbol!! I want to go explore maple new maps with Donna!! Donna, r u there?

Today something happened. Mei mei, just want to tell you, the thing that i feared most has come. This is working life..take it lightly and learnt from it. Be strong like you always do. Many people will be willing to help you. Stay happy always.

Finally my laptop will be here Sunday. I can't wait!! Finally!! Imagine carrying it around, so convenient!! Hehe..it's going to replace this damn computer of mine..hooray!! Tml's kbox with dear, mei mei and her bf and i'm going to catch Death Note 2..Tml will be a good day..hmmm..

Thanks to those who sent me their Christmas greetings..hope Christmas this year has been a fruitful one for u guys..

Weather has been sooo cold recently. My nose has been blocked for a few days already..it's still blocked as i'm blogging now. The medicine the doctor prescribed isn't help. I can't get to sleep not only because of the irritation the nose brought me but also for all the troubles that's swirling my mind now..

I feel like a burden now. I feel so bad now. Blame me if you must.
I can't imagine that the thought was once haboured before, but it was before..it only matters a little.
Does meeting or seeing a person lesser causes less conflict? Why can't it be the lesser we meet a person, the less good memories we can have..
Apologies meant nothing. The 1st time i heard thing shall hopefuly be the last time i heard this too. I apologise for the wrong things i once did. I don't apologise knowing i will did it once again but apologise knowing that i did u wrong just now.
Mean it when u really say something. Make it feel it..

I do love you..for once i thought u don't....when u said all those to me

The Christmas fun kicked off 2 days ago considering it's already monday now. It's jamming session and some real steamboat party at Gavian's house. Jamming aren't really fruitful, we didn't jammed well. I'm beginning to hate my amplifier. It's really time i get rid of this pathetic amp and get a more powerful one. I feel so unmotivated by this pathetic amp. Steamboat is even more wonderful. We bought sooo many food that we even thought that is wasn't enough. JiaJing was even crazier to went queueing up with aunties and brought over 2 KG of prawns. We had a hard time preparing the steamboat. It's also the preparation that sux cos we had to prepare while our stomach is grumbling.

We hardly even finish half the prawns. Food was so much so that the table aren't enough to put our plates. Nevertheless, a sastifying meal. Afterwhich, my very 1st gift exchange this year!! Chose Gavian's present which is a cigarette container. Well, he bought it without the intention of getting anyone the idea to start smoking..or maybe i should (haa...i'll die)..Thanks Gavian! Thanks dude for kick-starting my Christmas and giving me such a great time. I really look forward to New Year's Eve!

Happy Birthday PaPA!! One year older...more white hair on your head. Hope my dad liked the presents Dear and i gave. Haaa..i'm sure he did. He was so happy when he received it...with all smiles..I'm glad..

Went to a christmas party with Dear on Sat night. 1st time seeing all her relatives from her mum side. Their welcome was warm, esp from her cousin. Somehow, the nerverous was killed off, or rather, there's isn't any the moment i reached there. Most of her uncles and aunties eyes were on me, wondering since when a guy popped out all of a sudden..Their curiousity turns to me interest as they continue looking at me. Haa...i feel soo wierd. Now that they known me...i feel so heart-warming. I enjoyed myself..1st time i chatted so long with ur sis too....

Finally met Melissa today. Haaa, Dear's so happy to see her. She's changed i would say. She look different. Somehow when i met her today, it's like meeting up with some long time friend. Haa..She and Dear has been the best colleagues i've ever worked with in UOB. I would never forget the jokes, craps and her actions that brought so much life and laughter to the few of us working together at that point of time. I miss working there with the right people. Aww....but it's ok..they shall stay a good memories for me..

Had a sumptuous dinner. Ate alot..i even bought a chocolate log cake today. Just when i thought i wouldn't get to eat log cake this year, mum offered to buy for me! Hooray..cheers to mum! Cheers to dad too for treating Mac..

Dear bought a new drama show today. I watched the 1st episode and i find it very nice. Worth buying! I'm going to chiong it with Dear..!

I've finally joined the company Don recommend to me. I'm going to strive for the minimum. I'm going to progress slowly and hopefully, i can make something out of it. Bought one cases of Mangosteen Juice. Didn't know mangosteen can be made into juices. Haven't tasted it but heard that it does wonders to our body, well maybe too exxagerating, it does helps our body with certain problems. One bottle actually cost me 50 bucks. Bought one case which has 4 bottles of it. Hopefully it's nice..anyone interested can let me know..

Dear changed her seat. She seems ok with it. She just lost her best working buddy after Mellissaon Friday. I can see she's sad. Be strong Dear..there's still alot of people whom u can work well with..furthermore, mei mei's going in. Oh ya, hope mei mei would get used to the work there. Work would seems tough initially but hope mei mei u hang on there.

Dear told me lotsa stories. I still can't seem to agree on certain things. Office politics has impact on people. I still hate that guy..i can't imagine the party, the kbox, and some other shitty stuff..there's only one word i can used to describe my feelings but i'm not going to say it out..eww..phui..but Dear, i can't stop my heart from melting when i heard how u stood by me, how u defended me when people say me..even if it's ur friends..

Guilt is all over my body now. I'm an obstruction to Dear. I feel that i am. Dear, if you wanna do something, go ahead. If i said i'm ok with it, trust me that i'm really ok with it. Don't hesitate because of me. Not worth it..in the end, u'll end up doing things u regretted doing.

Finally Dear has a preview on the card that i've been working on for her. I'm so happy that she has finally seen it. I really hope she would love all that effort to make this very card. It's the 1st time i doing such thing. I'm happy to be able to do something like that for someone i love. Hehe...let's stay loving together..love you~

Btw, merry x'mas pple! If you didn't get your present tonight, don't blame santa..cos they don't exist..blame ur parents or friends instead... =)

I'm beginning to like what i'm doing at work now. It's all clerical work..not much of any difficulties..The superiors i'm working with is alright, my fellow colleagues are ok too..except for some..Usually, it's this kind of 'some people' that ruins ur day.

Imagine this - A person who speaks to you as though u owe him anything and everything.
- A person who claims to be your friend orders you indirectly/directly to do things that can
actually be done by both.
- A person who give you all sorts of excuses just to not make things go your way.
- A person who pretends he's ur friend in front of others and turns his back on you once those
people are gone.

Work with the above mentioned person for another one and a half year, i can't imagine. Anyway, my tolerance for him is running low, someday, somehow, i'm going to explode and when i do, it's going to be bad.

Rain has been the regular visitor these few days all around Singapore. I hate rainy days, it makes me drenched, it makes my clothes and boots wet which in turns makes it dirty..Yucks..Rain Rain Go AWAY!!!

Man Utd lost! Gosh...that's not the main thing..the worst is that Chelsea managed to win a game that seems not to be going their way. I'm utterly disappointed. When will Chelsea lose?!?! ARGH!!!

Laptop! Laptop! Laptop! That has been on my mind all the way..it will continue to be this case for the next few weeks until my laptop arrives. I can't wait..My personal desktop is leaving on me..i'm fed up with those errors, pop-ups and problems it's giving me. I'm so fed up that i've started making plans to buy a dell desktop. Desktops nowadays are so cheap that i have a wide variety to choose from. Dell desktops caught my eye. Soon, i'll land that very desktop on my computer table..

Happy 7th month Dear. Bought her a white monokuro.boo piggy. Hehe..we used to argue who's the white pig, who's the black one. It's until today that i find out that she should be the white one and i should be the black one - from her christmas present. I had a hard time thinking of what to buy for her christmas present. But luckily, god's on my side. I found this very interesting stuff that i thought she might like it..Let's just wait til sunday when she opens the wrapper..

Played pool with my buddies yesterday. Jon's MIa again..yet again and as always. It's been a long time since i last saw him. He's always busy with having appointments. I truly miss those days where the four of us would just gather for anything and everything, be it pool, clubbing, watching movies or simply just spending a night over at someone's house and rot it away..

I'm now into Monokuro.Boo stuff...I want to collect their stuff!!

Can't wait for my laptop to come!!! Come!! Come!! Come!!

Finally on 12/12/06, i'm officially an Ammunition Technician. This vocation may sound very technical but it's more to that. I never mention before what i've learnt. Though for the past few weeks, i didn't absorb totally what is taught to us or rather what was given to us, but it seems that this vocation require u to know a vast knowledge of ammunition. Yea! Soon i'll be sewing my fire badge on and after that, my cpl rank very soon..

Finally, my 2 days leave is here. I'm so deprived of a long break ever since i cleared my leave 3 months ago.

Thanks for my Dear, meimei got her job. My 1st day of leave was spent well but ended very terribly and badly. So bad that my life seems to be worthless at that very point of time. Dear was sweet enough to take leave to accompany me.

Watched eragon, a movie about dragons. It's been a long time since dragons appeared in movies. There's always this very interesting thing to have those fictional characters in movie. It's like such things never appeared in real life, so people would generally wonder how these fictional characters live, behave, move, etc etc...

A bad day for Dear to take leave too cos she ain't feeling well. Towards our way home, shitty happened. What should not be done has been done by me and i regretted is very very much. But the pain inflicted sometimes is so painful that it last for days and sometimes even weeks. In this case, it cause me a hell of fear. I'm scared..so scared that i couldn't get to sleep. I asked myself alot of questions, questions that even i myself don't want to find out the answers. What happened that night makes me ponder. My morale was brought down, my confidence dashed. Nevertheless, i try to stay positive. Assurance did make me feel better. Positive thinking should set me on the path of healing. Wounds takes time to heal..i need time...

Finally, Dear started teaching tuition again. Finally, it's back to the routine a few months ago. I missed those time where i would spend an hour and a half doing alot of thinking, and other stuff etc. Dear has got her extra income now and i'm glad. We've discussed and we want to save on our money and not spend it unnecessarily.

I helped Dear calculated her exam fees and the amount of unbelieveble. I feel so bad out of the sudden. I have to try my means to help her. I really hope she can do well, i hope she does. She's starting to take intiative and i'm glad.

Her card is still on the way. I'm running out of ideas..i hope she won't get disappointed. I wondered if she will feel touched but i know it's hard.

My 1st R21 movie was a bad experience. Not because it's a lousy movie, it's certainly a movie that i've been waiting for cos the 1st and 2nd part of this movie is just so good that i've actually anticipated for the 3rd part. And now, finally it's here and rated R21 for the 1st time. Of cos i expected some disgusting scenes..but it's isn't disgusting..it's simply gruesome.
i almost vommited umpteen times on and off during the shows. Even if you don't look at the screen, the screaming of that torturous sound is enough to make what's inside your stomach purge out..gosh...
Several parts of the movie shows us why it's R21.

*The intro part right at the start has already give us a rough idea of what this movie is going to be like - a man using a concrete block and literally smashing his feet with it and the feet basically just got distorted and eventually get torn away from his leg. Gosh...
*The below scene where this person body is being hooked all over his body using sharps hooks. To save himself, he had to put himself of these hooks so as to escape from a bomb which is about to explode. The 'Hooked' Man

*A naked woman bring hang a freezed to death. She had water splashed and shoots on her til she became frozen.
*A man had pigs grinded into juices and liquid with all the intestines and organs spilled on him with he himself being tired up.
*A man with his whole body attached onto certain mechanism. The mechanism is activated and gears started moving. Each parts of his body is being twisted and of cos, dies eventually.
*The most disgusting part - a female surgeon perfoming a surgery on the mastermind using wierd tools like drilling machine, razor...all that to cut off his skull. The whole process of how the scalp is peeled off, how the skull is being cut off using the razor and drilling of the skull is being shown. That is not all, they even showed us the brains moving..gosh...

At that point of time, i'm already feeling super uneasy up my chest..

Didn't meet up with Dear today. Hope she did enjoyed herself tonight with her friend. I wasn't really happy with regards to my work, but that didn't really matter. I haven't told Dear what happen yet. I don't wan her to worry, but it's so much painful to bottle it up. My friends know what is it like cos they've been through what i'm going through..i'm just so tired..

Woot...had an very unexpected surprise from Dear. What happened yesterday is really nothing. It all dissolve with that surprise. Not many people can have such surprises. I think in a relationship, rare surprises will somehow spice up everything, it'll also solve problems / misunderstandings etc..it makes one party appreciate the effort made for all those surprises. It will make no wonder why people will envy me or Dear...The surprise she made for me today was very meaningful. Brought me to the place where i 1st confessed to her. Flashbacks of those moments immediately came to my mind. It was warm-hearting and touching. It's one of the most touching thing she's ever done for me. The dinner was expensive, but that out of the point. The main point is, she's touched my heart today, deep down inside. I appreciated what she did for me, we talked about alot of things and i think this progression would only become an envy. Love you Dear

My vocation has been super sucky. By the time i ORD, i think i will be rotten. Haiz...shall put more details in here soon..too tired to think of anything..i shall sleep through the night, wishing i would dream of what Dear dreamt 2 days ago..

Woke up feeling a tight pain on my thigh..had a leg cramp in the middle of the night..a torturous one..Now it still hurts as i walk..

What u said yesterday night just make my heart as painful as my thigh..

Finally, got back my 'repaired' handphone from Sony Ericsson Customer Servce Center on friday. Seems like a new phone to me now..just that everything is gone - the photos, songs, messages etc...but it's ok..the important stuff has already been backed up. Shall transfer it soon..

I dislike disappointments. I hate last minute change of plans. But more often that not, situations don't allow things to go our way. I still find it hard to accept the sudden change of plan at those very last minute. I'll go crazy..i'll get frustrated. It just seems i can't accept those change immediately. Sometimes, being alone makes my mind think clearer. It helps to let me so called move away from everything and chill...after a while, i'll just accept it. Even though the acceptance can cause bad consequences, but it's something i'll have to live with.

As if my impression wasn't bad enough. Just because one is elder or more senior means one can talk to the younger one in a sarcastic way. I don't even know you..i don't even intend to know you. I don't need to know you either. Day ruined..but nevertheless, worthless to feel all that just because of one idiot. Shan't elaborate too much..too many people is being complicated into it..

I've to start to find things to do on my own. Life ain't the same anymore. I've got my new posting - office work (phew). Camp is still the same, just that is further on top abit at the headquarters. NS life is totally different from the life before NS. Now that i'm going to spend more time on myself, i'll find things to fill myself up and also to kill time. I'm glad i found some, giving me the excuse to cool down...never been worse...