Hmm..now i'm back home..showered and applied lotsa products on my humpy face. All thanks for Dear. She knows my inferiority..she knows my suffering and she knows i'm troubled over my humpy face. She lended me her products, and even wanted to bring me to do facial. She actually wanted to help me take care of my face. Ohh...how useless am i..very right? So i shall help myself too..let's not waste her efforts. I shall cut down (oops, did i say cut down?) on oily and heaty food, drink more water, not to hug my pillow (too much?) and to regulary applied the products she bought for me/lended me. I really hope to have the face that is able to see people openly. A face that won't become a topic of people.

Recently, Dear's not very happy. She has lost her radiant smile..one which never fails to make my day. I miss that happy her. The one who always goes around 'bullying' me. I love her nagging..i love her scolding..i love her 'sa jiao-ing' to me..but now, the one i seen is the sad side of her who recently will out of a sudden keep quiet, keep me guessing what is she thinking about or even drops a few tears. Those tears should dropped in the 1st face but i suppose the pain inflicted to her is just too deep. Today, i had a short conversation with her. I know how much she has given up the word 'TRUST'. She don't trust people easily now. One that she used to trust alot has distanced from her. One whom she shared alot and alot of happy memories with has starting to lost contact with her. Dear's really sad of all this. This therefore caused her not daring to trust anyone, not daring to pour out for she feels that she might be hurt again..Seeing her like that, it really aches my heart. She's afraid that i might be the one in the future..suddenly, i really lost a sense of security upon hearing what she said. Putting myself in her shoes, i can totally understand what make her said all that. I wanted to gain that trust from her. I wanted to be one whom she can trust alot if not totally. I wanted to be the one whom she will be the 1st person to share her happiness/sadness with. I know right now, i might not be able to place a very important spot in her heart but i'm really trying my best. She's got to believe me. All i need is time and i'm sure she's willing to give me that.

Now i've got something to tell u, my relationship with you ain't any ordinary relationsip. It's not puppy love, and it can't even be crush. Don't ask me why cos i don't know how to explain to you. I need time to tell u why i called our relationship LOVE. This is the 1st time i love a girl so much. Sis knows that, Mum knows that, Don knows that. All i need to do now is prove. I also need your help to allow me to prove. Firstly, trust that everything i do for u is really from the bottom of my heart. Secondly, know that u are already one of my priorities and don't doubt that. Thirdly, share everything u wanted to pour out with me (if possible). Although i can't be there for u physically, i'm just a ring away. I care how u feel, or should i put it..i feel how u feel. I don't fake my tears either. I don't fake my love. Feel my love with your heart and u'll know. At least for now, i know u truly truly loves me. And that is the same for me too..like i said before, u made me realise how precious happiness is. U make my realise how is it like not to be lonely. It's really nice to have a person who who understands me, who cares for me. The feeling of being loved is heavenly. Thanks for everything my Dear.

Appetite hasn't been good recently. I don't know why. Mixed feelings are all over. The long awaited world cup has started. My usually highly excited mood was flatten. I don't seem to be as interested. Something's wrong with me. I'll just need to figure out. Maybe it's because of seeing her like that. How painful it is. Maybe it's because i'm missing her like crazy. Maybe it's because of how i have to independently now. Argh..it's painful to think.

Let's talk about yesterday. Me, Dear, Lichin and Jiewan went shopping! Haa, we went isetan. Lichin was taking her own sweet time choosing her facial products whereas the rest of us went up and browse around the clothes. Dear saw alot of clothes she like. She has been thinking of wearing high heels shoes too. I would love to see her wear too. (Don't worry dear, go ahead and wear, i'm willing to piggyback you if u happen to fall. I'm there). I saw my favourite Billabong slippers. AHH!! I want..i want..i want!!!After shopping, we went far east. I was buying drink and something happen. I was talking to this counter girl and suddenly, dear got angry. Hmm..i make her feel jealous..oh gosh..i guess it's the way i talk to girls. I have to mind myself. I have to care how she feel. Sorry for making u feel that way Dear. Then dear suddenly feel like eating Shilin chicken. She was there telling JieWan. I feel so bad, it's has been me trying to stop her from eating all this because of her cough and she wanted to slim down. But it's really making me feel bad that she has been yearning to eat and has to turn to her friend for it instead of me. Suddenly, i feel that she's like a stranger to me. What have i done?! I thought to myself..is that how i'm supposed to treat my girlfriend. I went ahead and bought the chicken for her. Afterwhich, we went to take some neoprints. Those neoprint were cool. Lichin was the craziest among us. Gosh, but everything was fun.

Dear's getting along quite well with my parents, especially my mum. I'm glad that they get along well. Tml's my turn to have meet-the-parent session. I'm wondering how will it turn out. Good? Bad? Hmm, no matter what, i'm facing it. I wanted our relationship is see light, and not hide in darkness..What comes may, i'm willing to go through anything to be with her. But 1st, i'm going to stop being a bad guy and make her come up with lies all the time just to be with me. I'm a bad sinner and it's time i compensate..