Hearing what dear says..i ponder alot. I wonder why things come to such state. I feel so unwelcome. Something is quite wrong, i'm not sure if i'm right, but i just got this strong feeling of rejection. A feeling that makes me feel fearful. I keep asking myself and telling myself things might not be the way i thought it is, but as days passess by, it seems more true. I should have known better, or at the very least, know what to do. I shouldn't make things more difficult or whatsoever for Dear. Let things go its natural way, shan't force it through or things might just get worse. I have to learn to adapt and not for things to adapt the way i want it to me all the time.

I've learn alot of things through fishball. Men's talk..we shared alot of things with each other. Time passes quite fast that way. This week won't be good i think..a bad week...