Understanding Quarrel

A word which everyone dislike and would avoid at all possible cost. Yet, it is inevitable in our daily lives. However, as much as one hate it, one can only avoid quarel but can't prevent it.

There are tons of reasons why a quarrel may occur. Some of the reasons make good sense while some don't. However, the fact remains that when we are swept away in this moment of dispute, there is really little both can do about it until the entire process has run its course. However, if all this can be prevented and still achieve what is desired, then that will be a bonus.

Often, we splurted out hurtful words in heated argument, we talk and fought a verbal word in tense moments and say out things that doesn't tally with our intentions and don't really mean it. But sometimes, we simply just allow things to get over our head, resultiing in alot of unnecessary consequences. The after effects of that most of the time usually proved damaging or fatal. It take minutes to quarrel and splurt out all the unnecessary words, but it could just take hours to heal from it.

I have my fair share of quarrels which most of the time, I regretted. I must say quarrels are necessary in every kinship, relationship and friendship. It provides a basis as to why it even happen in the first place. Many times, we neglect the intentions while participating in the process, causing lots of bombardment. I must say, none of which would however still, be enjoyable. But I do learn from every quarrel I had, and I certaintly regretted each and every single one of them, be it beneficial or not. I go on to share my afterthoughts after each quarrel.

Remorse
This is the first thing that will hit me each time after each quarrel, especially with people I loved alot. Usually, it's from a 'hand on head' scenario. Looking back at the moment and regretting my actions.It certaintly helps for both to come out and talk things out peacefully. Perhaps they always mentioned 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'. True? It's however still important to be apologetic and admit your actions. Remorse shows humility, maturity and wisdom and reiterates the fact that we aren't perfect. None of us wishes for a quarrel and none of us wakes up with a need for one. However if this can come of it then we have learned something from it and it was necessary.

Distance
Some quarrels lead to people staying apart of each other. Involved parties tend to keep a distance. Be it cooling down first, or prevention of aggrevation of the argument. Distance could be preferred. However for some, it might seem difficult on both sides because they may have been used to having each other around. I definitely belong to that latter. The fact remains that a quarrel might just be the solution to avoid involved parties from taking each other for granted. But I must admit, distance could just be necessary for the resolving of an argument at times as one take a step back, calm the heart down and reflect it well.

Honesty
I can't stress how important I think this can be. In most quarrels we are likely to lose control of what we say, perhaps even the harshest word that we don't even mean it at all. Perhaps sometimes, we might say what we believe is the truth because during this time we are angry. It is better to say this truth under different circumstances, however if it takes a quarrel to present this truth then it has served its purpose.The truth needs to be heard to solidify a relationship or understanding between people. And of course, 'follow-ups' has to follows and assurance or clarifications is necessary to prevent further misunderstanding. If one continuously walk in circles round each other we would never get to know who we are. By being honest, either during or after, it will eventually make the quarrel worthwhile, I suppose

Silence
I totally can't stand silence. Although I must admit, this is important. Some people might say that a quarrel leads to hatred and silence, people not talking to each other because of the experience of the quarrel. The unfortunate point about quarrel is that it took a quarrel for the truth to present it self. If silence exists after the quarrel, it could meant it much needed for both sides to understand what they want out of the relationship. But of course, silence has to come to a stop eventually because halting the entire issue or situation would just worsen it instead of the other way around.

Fear
The worst effect I deemed. There might be the fear that the next time this happens it could lead to something worse and harmful. I reckon it could just be a bad feeling or thought, however, it can still be to the advantage of both sides. Each would be afraid of letting a quarrel be the solution to their problem and both sides would be aware of what precautions they need to take to protect themselves from this being carried to the next level. But while going through fear, it's still important to keep faith and eliminate this fear slowly.

I do wish that I will not have any quarrels with anyone but I jolly well know that it is impossible but I do believe everything happens for a reason. May this year be one with least quarrels.