Unwanted Agony

Somehow, to me, it wasn't easy writing this post. Probably, nobody I knows will truly deeply understand how and what I am feeling. I've never knew this day would arrive so soon, not when you are probably at your peak.

行行出状元. Be it whichever job or field you are in, there is simply every opportunity for you to shine and probably be at your best. Come to this far, I've realized it's not sufficient and totally not realistic at all. This world is very real, and reality is indeed cruel. You are put out there to fend for yourself. One by one, you have colleagues, you have superiors and if you are in my line, you have customers too.

It took me near to 1 1/2 years to finally taste success. I've came a long way and started from scratch. Starting this job was a huge decision for me. I was at a crossroads which lots of crossed paths and junctions. It took me alot before I finally decided to plunge into this decision. It was my mindset 'using this job as a stepping stone' then that sets the path for the subsequent route.
Of course, every job is the same. You face difficulties, you face troubles, you face uncertainties and alot more. But all those are not enough to pull me down. I must say, it wasn't easy at the start and I struggled my way through time which always seemed like crawling.

Being in this job, I needed much support from my love ones. People who doesn't really understand this job, they see it as one which has no mere difference from a salesperson, they see it as one which simply allows you to travel more, they see it as one which doesn't has much prospects in, they see it as one which doesn't pays well and lots more. I must say, all these 'they see it as...', I've long taken into consideration before I even took the plunge 2 years plus ago. But to me, I see this as an opportunity, I see this as a chance for me to experience worklife, I see this as a chance for me to learn what I didn't know, I see this as a chance for me to discover what I've expected and unexpected altogether.

Now 2 years plus down into this job, only two words can describe how I'm feeling - No Regrets. Many always envy how I always get to travel around different countries, but behind those so called 'incentives' to them, they did not see the hard work, the required effort and alot more needed to be put in. I've really learnt alot from this job. I see more than I can imagine. It, at the same time, open up alot of perspective and exposure for me. I met most people than I ever did in my entire life.

Alot of people asked me, now that I've gotten my degree, when am I leaving/quitting. Deep inside me, it's a turmoil. There I am, sitting in a job which I've finally taste success, a job which I've loved so much, a job which I would love to do forever, but on the other side of my mind, all the 'they see it as....' are becoming more and more real and I'm definitely more ambitious than that and I would want to advance in my career, not only because of myself, but external pressure is pressing too.

Sad to say, reality has forced me to quit something I love doing for something more realistic. But no matter what, I told myself, in my life, entire life in fact, it's all about learning. I've definitely learnt what I should and what I can, and to be frank, it's really high time to expose myself to different aspects of my intended career and advance accordingly. Though uncertain, but that is what makes everything more interesting.