Yes! Finally..!! It's a relief. A super huge one. NATAS Fair came and go off in just a blink of an eye. As usual, i enjoyed the whole process. But the frustrating part is that i have to skip school because of that, and it's because of that, the siren came along and struck a alarm in my head, that is when all the frantic and panick comes.
It's a 10 days straight that i'm working. Slogging near to 10,11pm for more than half of that. Definitely taken a toll on me, so much so that i fell sick as soon as NATAS is over. Now that it's finally over, i'm so proud of myself because the number of bookings i've took in, the number of passengers i've spoke with and the amount of fun we all had, it's worth everything.
Finally, my off day tomorrow and i just want to be away from work and passed my time the way i want it. The girl has been busy, even much busier, so much as that it's making everything abit difficult for her. It's tough, but then again, the success after it shall taste even sweeter.
Yet again, this March prove to be the busiest month so far, and i can foresee my company doing more stupid things which seriously makes me ponder if i should move on and explore new greens. Although i've loving it, but little by little, it starts to push me away from it. It's going to be tough the next few weeks, with tons of worrying assignments, japan trip, hell loads of work etc...but no matter what, let's work hard together...Gambatte....
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Start of a busy period ahead...
As the title suggest, it's such a busy week ahead especially because of NATAS. I seriously hope it's no longer hell like it was last year - working till 10-11pm at night for consecutively for 10-14 days and the only thing you yearn for during this period is 'life'.
Definitely a tough period ahead but i'll just hang on...and wait till 10 days later, where i'll be able to enjoy what i've been enjoying for the past few days...
Definitely a tough period ahead but i'll just hang on...and wait till 10 days later, where i'll be able to enjoy what i've been enjoying for the past few days...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The End Is Near....
Like i always mentioned to her, 'The end is near....'. So what's 'the end'? For now, it simply just means the upcoming torture i had to face, along with her and everyone else. Chinese New Year barely into it's fourth day and it's already NATAS Fair soon, round the corner of the month in fact. I'm back to being a busy bee.
It's no peace at work soon. Unlike past few weeks, war is going to start. I'm going to be hella busy with briefing, meetings, phone calls, emails blah blah....the list goes on. I foresee lots of overtime, lots of frustration and of course, i foresee myself being so shagged that the moment i'm back home, all i want is bed. Every year is the same old routine. I'm just hoping everything can run smoothly, be it pre-NATAS, post-NATAS or during NATAS. I'm just afraid it eats so much into my time and life that i had to forgo meals, neglect her (i'm so sorry), skipped school, miss project meetings. No point dwelling, i'll just pray for the best, once it's over, i'll just be counting down to the '1 millions things to do'...
Chinese New Year came just like that, and in a blink of an eye, it's already the fourth day of CNY. I am not done with my gambling yet! The Ang Baos i'm collecting are getting lesser and lesser, and year after year, it's getting more and more boring. Now, it's my no.1 most hated public holiday.
That aside, another milestone reached. To me, it's a proud success and i'm glad it went well. It's that sort of assurance i called it that pushes me to do what i've been doing...for that, i'm contented....and that is where it will all continues...
It's no peace at work soon. Unlike past few weeks, war is going to start. I'm going to be hella busy with briefing, meetings, phone calls, emails blah blah....the list goes on. I foresee lots of overtime, lots of frustration and of course, i foresee myself being so shagged that the moment i'm back home, all i want is bed. Every year is the same old routine. I'm just hoping everything can run smoothly, be it pre-NATAS, post-NATAS or during NATAS. I'm just afraid it eats so much into my time and life that i had to forgo meals, neglect her (i'm so sorry), skipped school, miss project meetings. No point dwelling, i'll just pray for the best, once it's over, i'll just be counting down to the '1 millions things to do'...
Chinese New Year came just like that, and in a blink of an eye, it's already the fourth day of CNY. I am not done with my gambling yet! The Ang Baos i'm collecting are getting lesser and lesser, and year after year, it's getting more and more boring. Now, it's my no.1 most hated public holiday.
That aside, another milestone reached. To me, it's a proud success and i'm glad it went well. It's that sort of assurance i called it that pushes me to do what i've been doing...for that, i'm contented....and that is where it will all continues...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
祝大家新年快乐和情人节快乐
Wishing everyone a very Happy Lunar New Year. Eat more, play more, win more (gamble more of course), collect more hong bao and HUAT AH!!!!
Coincidentally, it's Valentine's Day and hereby wishing those in love a very Happy Valentine's Day and cherish all the loving moments and wishing those singles to find your loved one soon.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Learning...to not take things for granted
Not taking things for granted - how simple is that. It's not an art or science because it seems to built in human nature that has no explanation for it. At times, i detest human beings, for we have a heart so complicated to understand. Why do human beings take things for granted? Why don't we human beings be contented with what we have? Is it because we take things too hard? Or is it because we tend to think more than what we are supposed to?
The opposite of remembering is forgetting. I honestly feel that sometimes, we remember the unnecessary and neglect the important ones. Very often, we, myself included, are prone to forget the most basic blessings of what we have until they are jeopardized. For example, we tend to forget it’s a great blessing that we are healthy is until we are ill or injured, or we probably forget how fortunate we are to have a complete family, to have someone you love, loving you, to have friends that we only realize until we are on the verge of losing them. If we keep reminding ourselves constantly, will things be better? And what’s worse, there are even people who hates reminders because to them, it’s an insult, which makes everything else so much more difficult.
I was made painfully to be aware of the need to remember the blessing of what I already have and time and time again, I’m glad I went through that pain and experienced the lesson learnt. Reminder was not just a reminder purely to me but something I can cherish. I don’t want to move on in future and say words like ‘what if’ or ‘if only’.
The whole idea and importance is simply to cherish all of the good things that we normally take for granted. If one can walk without pain, be grateful. And even when I mentioned simply, seriously, how simple is it, because in this word simple, I see a lot of difficulties…
The opposite of remembering is forgetting. I honestly feel that sometimes, we remember the unnecessary and neglect the important ones. Very often, we, myself included, are prone to forget the most basic blessings of what we have until they are jeopardized. For example, we tend to forget it’s a great blessing that we are healthy is until we are ill or injured, or we probably forget how fortunate we are to have a complete family, to have someone you love, loving you, to have friends that we only realize until we are on the verge of losing them. If we keep reminding ourselves constantly, will things be better? And what’s worse, there are even people who hates reminders because to them, it’s an insult, which makes everything else so much more difficult.
I was made painfully to be aware of the need to remember the blessing of what I already have and time and time again, I’m glad I went through that pain and experienced the lesson learnt. Reminder was not just a reminder purely to me but something I can cherish. I don’t want to move on in future and say words like ‘what if’ or ‘if only’.
The whole idea and importance is simply to cherish all of the good things that we normally take for granted. If one can walk without pain, be grateful. And even when I mentioned simply, seriously, how simple is it, because in this word simple, I see a lot of difficulties…
Monday, February 08, 2010
V Day Celebration
Our very first Valentine Day together. We decided to celebrate it early in view of the clashes of Valentine Day with Chinese New Year. Nevertheless, it was a whole lot of fun and love was in the air, literally.
It was surprises after surprises and behind each and every surprise, it all lies the effort, disappointment and tons of love which deeply touches the heart of us. That special digit and colour lying in that bouquet has some special representation that conveys the voice of my heart.
Main highlight of the night was finally here, after enduring some hunger beforehand, although Kiliney almost 'killed' us. Our first time to Equinox. The entrance was a path with simple and dim light by the side, with nice timepiece by the lift lobby which lead you all the way up to the highest floor - 70th Floor.
Greeted by warm greetings, our table was within nice bird eye view of the cityscape. Tall glass panels, elevated floor space, timber tall ceiling, equally spaced tables and not forgetting as the sun sets down, the dim lighting continued to enhance the romantic atmosphere. My painstakingly (in a nice way, duh!) piece of artwork was presented at last. Walla! Every single word, every single stroke of colour represents every meaning and it was well received, as i saw it with my very own eyes. Which follows by the special box i received kept me ever more alive with those little photos on it. Touched!
Food arrived in style not long after with waiter explaining what the food is all about. Our first time in such a atas place and fine dining was something we finally tried. I think i'm still dumbfounded by the atmosphere. We skipped appetizers and went straight to main course, plus being served water whereby even asked, the only answer seems to be a yes. She had her codfish, whereas i had my prawns, followed by dessert which was probably the nicest of the night. I missed the dessert now. Thereafter, a nicely packed of heart shaped chocolate tarts by her. The effort behind it, no one could imagine but i appreciated that hard work behind it and seriously, i'm touched once again.
A very nice experience dining there and i seriously want to go back there again. Camwhoring continues after dinner because simply no one can resist the nice nightscape of the city.
'The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus' was next. I couldn't count the number of times i dozed off during the movie. She and her depp depp yet not even a single time did she hit her arm towards me, i bet she must have been turned off by the chim-glish used in the movie.
By the time our third surprise arrived, the ambience wasn't as intense as we embraced at the stroke of 12 for our first month together. I did my 'omg, i don't even believe it myself' act and it almost got into myself as well, as much as her. As i'm typing, i'm still in disbelief. Her final unleashing finally ended the night romantically and it is like what was said, probably the sweetest valentine day celebrate ever......
Sunday, February 07, 2010
February - Start Of a Busy Month Ahead
February had barely started and i can feel the intense atmosphere, be it whether it's studies or work or just any casual gatherings i'm going to have. My organiser seems quite fully packed that it's hard to squeeze certain events into certain dates. It's this month that i'll experience a little of everything, being so happy, having fun all around and slogging my guts out as well.
Muse concert kickstart this month with a total bang. Not to mention probably, Saosin and Rise Against did contribute to this 'whole cool rockin' experience. The interval wait between the bands was definitely worth it, especially after Rise Against. The moment Muse came out, everyone stood up promptly, as though welcoming something huge. Indeed, the entrance of the band was inspiring in some sense, in addition to the visuals, simply awesome.
First song, 'Uprising' already got the crowd gone mad, me and Don included. Following a few more classic and favourite songs like 'Stockholm Syndrome', 'Plug In Baby', 'Resistance', 'Hysteria' and eventually ended with my all time favourite song from them - 'Knights of Cydonia'. As i'm blogging, oh, i'm already missing them. I'll definitely catch them again if they were to hold a concert. I can never forget the way Bellamy played his guitar, plus his multi talented skill, as displayed when he performed 'Sunburn' that very night. The visuals - the lighting, graphics and laser wow-ed me. I've seen it all in youtube before this concert and finally, in front of my very own eyes, i've seen it all. And like what she said, we're glad i enjoyed and i really do. My first concert - a huge bang! =)
Muse concert kickstart this month with a total bang. Not to mention probably, Saosin and Rise Against did contribute to this 'whole cool rockin' experience. The interval wait between the bands was definitely worth it, especially after Rise Against. The moment Muse came out, everyone stood up promptly, as though welcoming something huge. Indeed, the entrance of the band was inspiring in some sense, in addition to the visuals, simply awesome.
First song, 'Uprising' already got the crowd gone mad, me and Don included. Following a few more classic and favourite songs like 'Stockholm Syndrome', 'Plug In Baby', 'Resistance', 'Hysteria' and eventually ended with my all time favourite song from them - 'Knights of Cydonia'. As i'm blogging, oh, i'm already missing them. I'll definitely catch them again if they were to hold a concert. I can never forget the way Bellamy played his guitar, plus his multi talented skill, as displayed when he performed 'Sunburn' that very night. The visuals - the lighting, graphics and laser wow-ed me. I've seen it all in youtube before this concert and finally, in front of my very own eyes, i've seen it all. And like what she said, we're glad i enjoyed and i really do. My first concert - a huge bang! =)
Chinese New Year gathering began way before the actual celebration. First was with my group of friends - Dear, Don, Gav, Jon, Layhuan, Med, Vicky, JJ. Steamboat back to where we once gathered and eat before - Zhen Huat Steamboat in Novena.
Second was with my UOB Travel colleagues. Lots of changing of places before the uncle finally decided on Swissotel Merchant Court, Ellenborough Market Café. Wasn't fantastic, price was slightly on the high side, therefore, of course i must eat my fill. Sashimi and crayfish seems to be only best food and nothing else there interests me much and by the time i wanted to hit the dessert bar, i'm almost gone-case.
By Friday, i realised i'm really getting fat. The amount of food i'm consuming a day, is enough to feed two normal human being. When i hit Superstar Virgo again, i started to reminisce. The good old times i used to have on board this cruise with different groups of people. I feel like going back again here. I have this thing for cruise somehow, even though many said it's boring. That aside, the 8-course dinner was fantastic. Too bad my tummy could no longer hold anymore, if not, i'll definitely whipped up everything. The abalone, Buddha jump over the wall, the yusheng, all so yummy.
Speaking of food, i was planning the itinerary with the girl again today and i realise, i seriously can't wait to hit Taiwan, for their food. Yums...meanwhile, i shall look forward eagerly to Chinese New Year, where there will once again, be good food to savour.
Bon Appetit!
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Grudges..time to let it go...
We all borne grudges from time to time. Me included. I’ve either approached the person who’s the cause of my grudge and talked things through properly or I’ve simply dropped it. But right now, there is in my opinion, pointless to bear grudges.
Bearing grudges waste time and energy it seems. Let’s be honest, I used to bear so much grudges, specifically with someone. That is simply exhausting. Firstly, it doesn't improve the situation and often, we end up feeling wound up something that has already happen and seriously, no amount of dwelling can make it 'unhappened'
I understand that an initial response when it all happens and you just tend to vent it all out, jolly well knowing bottling things up isn't good for anyone - but there comes a point either you have to deal with it or let go. If one don’t, then every time we happen to run into the person who we consider the cause of our grudge will just continue to release negative energy.
I have plenty of reasons to bear a grudge towards certain people who’ve been part of my life, but now that I’ve learnt the deeper meaning of it, probably sometimes, it's being forgiving or even forgetting that makes it a better deal.
There are lessons to be learned from everybody i meet. It isn’t always easy to see the lessons at times, but once we are able to take a step back and view it from a distance, and really start to look, it's all just there to be found and experience is what one grow upon.
Who knows, maybe that person you’re bearing a grudge towards has actually taught you an important life lesson. I know i did and i'm totally glad that instead of bearing a grudge, i've moved on with life, and thankfully, in a much more positive manner.
Bearing grudges waste time and energy it seems. Let’s be honest, I used to bear so much grudges, specifically with someone. That is simply exhausting. Firstly, it doesn't improve the situation and often, we end up feeling wound up something that has already happen and seriously, no amount of dwelling can make it 'unhappened'
I understand that an initial response when it all happens and you just tend to vent it all out, jolly well knowing bottling things up isn't good for anyone - but there comes a point either you have to deal with it or let go. If one don’t, then every time we happen to run into the person who we consider the cause of our grudge will just continue to release negative energy.
I have plenty of reasons to bear a grudge towards certain people who’ve been part of my life, but now that I’ve learnt the deeper meaning of it, probably sometimes, it's being forgiving or even forgetting that makes it a better deal.
There are lessons to be learned from everybody i meet. It isn’t always easy to see the lessons at times, but once we are able to take a step back and view it from a distance, and really start to look, it's all just there to be found and experience is what one grow upon.
Who knows, maybe that person you’re bearing a grudge towards has actually taught you an important life lesson. I know i did and i'm totally glad that instead of bearing a grudge, i've moved on with life, and thankfully, in a much more positive manner.
Monday, February 01, 2010
End Of January At Last! *Updated*
It's finally Feburary. Just like that, one month passed. I began noticing the word 'time' ever since this year started because it has much more significance than ever now. January test was over, in just a blink of an eye. I'm glad i passed that milestone. Many more milestones to come of course, but as always, hold that little belief and faith and keep it through. Come what may seriously. No problem is a problem forever. Nevertheless, i ended the month on a good note, which i hope would be the case for the 11 more months to come for this year.
Surprise welcomed me early morning on Saturday. Now i have plenty of junk but super yummy food to fill my always hungry tummy thanks to the girl. In the past, it was funshine. Now it's the many many yummy stuff nicely packed into a box, now that's really sweet. Cool stuff.
On a hot day, with clear blue skies, what's even better than picnic!! Our intention to hit the nice beaches (ok, not that nice afterall) at the soon-to-be-populated Sentosa was fulfilled. The sun, the clear skies, the beach water, the sand, the picnic set, the food we prepared - perfect setting. Another one down on our 1 million things to do list.
Ok, i just got to crap about the entrance fee for car which cost a whopping 7 bucks. To make everything else worse, the parking is another 7 bucks for the first hour. Imagine driving to Sentosa in future, you better had at least 50 bucks inside your cashcard, if not, you might as well not drive at all.
We popped by those hotels in Resorts World. Fantastic indeed. The architecture, unique on its own. The interior, grand as it can really be. Everything else feel likea luxury but it is a very much on the same concept as our neighbour - Genting. The casino caused so much hype but it seems like a 'oh, just another casino' to me, moreover, the 'lose $100 before you lose more' gantry look so unwelcoming to any dumbheads who wants to go through that very gantry. Stupid as it can be i thought, so too.
Surprise welcomed me early morning on Saturday. Now i have plenty of junk but super yummy food to fill my always hungry tummy thanks to the girl. In the past, it was funshine. Now it's the many many yummy stuff nicely packed into a box, now that's really sweet. Cool stuff.
On a hot day, with clear blue skies, what's even better than picnic!! Our intention to hit the nice beaches (ok, not that nice afterall) at the soon-to-be-populated Sentosa was fulfilled. The sun, the clear skies, the beach water, the sand, the picnic set, the food we prepared - perfect setting. Another one down on our 1 million things to do list.
Ok, i just got to crap about the entrance fee for car which cost a whopping 7 bucks. To make everything else worse, the parking is another 7 bucks for the first hour. Imagine driving to Sentosa in future, you better had at least 50 bucks inside your cashcard, if not, you might as well not drive at all.
We popped by those hotels in Resorts World. Fantastic indeed. The architecture, unique on its own. The interior, grand as it can really be. Everything else feel likea luxury but it is a very much on the same concept as our neighbour - Genting. The casino caused so much hype but it seems like a 'oh, just another casino' to me, moreover, the 'lose $100 before you lose more' gantry look so unwelcoming to any dumbheads who wants to go through that very gantry. Stupid as it can be i thought, so too.
Hit Dempsey for the first and possibly last time on that white Honda Fit. I'm glad i did anyway. Her first time as well to Ben and Jerry Dempsey, and so, we munched on the 'so heaty' brownie plus two heavily sinful scoop of chocolate ice cream, continuing our streaks on unhealthy diet of recent days. Crap, time i seriously wear my jogging shoes, hit the road and ooze some sweat.
Been mugging at RP yet again, and feels so welcoming back into its arms. The environment, doesn't even make you feel it's like a school, yet it provide a condusive place for studying. Perhaps it's the recollection of my mind (Nov-Dec mugging last year) that i feel it's extra comforting to study over here. I seriously don't mind the travelling and company and i suppose it is that, that makes all the difference.
Finally, they met. It's not a huge thing, yet it feels like it's another milestone reached. It's like what Layhuan said about welcoming into the big family and it really makes everything so blessful, making what's already right even more right than ever before. I just hope that this continues on to the day i presume it's one of the biggest milestone yet. First impression seriously matters and i would want to put on my best to pave the path for future. Steamboat was nice but unfortunately, with the abscence of 'yu sheng', if not, it would have seriously been a perfect reunion dinner. Dudes are all gettng on the lower notes time by time and i feel we are seriously all hitting the age crisis. We all now see more of future than how we used to only see the present. Everyone starts to think of the future, reflect on the past and laugh and talk about it now.
Finally, one more down in the one million to do list. Not sure about her being a successful convert but at the very least, when i know Liverpool's not playing, she's on my side, being the serious Red Devils. Apart from the bloody rude guy who almost spoilt the night, everything else was great. Man Utd seriously deserve to win, with both predictions wrong, we still had our time of the night as the match start at the struck of 12, which perfectly end the January test with both of us, happy with our present.
And before Feburary continues on, i shall move towards the next milestone with a wonderful quote:
'it's very simple to be happy, but it's very difficult to be simple'
let's just work around it, stick on to that little faith plus positiveness and it will all be just fine.
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Something to be really happy about. Taiwan trip is on the agenda. Tickets has been booked and confirmed. So for now, it's the planning of itinerary, sourcing for good/cheap hotels and not forgetting the munching on bread and porridge so as to splurge more in Taipei.
Imagine the shopping, the food, the Taiwan babes (Oops, i sense danger), the company and all the fun that comes along with it. It's so near, yet so far. Simply can't wait....
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Quotes of the Day
These are some of the nicest and more meaningful quotes i would like to share. These quotes are the ones that is special not only to me therefore, till now, i'm still thankful i've learnt them, shared them with Bloms. Enjoy them and carry on to discover the deeper meaning of them. =)
- Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. -
- Unpleasant words do not cost much. Yet they spoils almost everything. Whereas kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much -
- Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced -
- Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking -
- If you harp on what happened between the past and the present, you will find you have lost the future -
- Justifying a pain doubles it -
- Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards -
- No one can actually make you really sad except for yourself -
- There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm -
- You cannot create sadness. You must undergo it. It's just like experience -
- Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless -
- Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. -
- Unpleasant words do not cost much. Yet they spoils almost everything. Whereas kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much -
- Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced -
- Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking -
- If you harp on what happened between the past and the present, you will find you have lost the future -
- Justifying a pain doubles it -
- Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards -
- No one can actually make you really sad except for yourself -
- There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm -
- You cannot create sadness. You must undergo it. It's just like experience -
- Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless -
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Why?
I was wondering…why is it so easy to advice others, to show empathy to them, listening to them but when it comes to my own self, I seem to fail to display all of those abilities…
Monday, January 25, 2010
最光彩的时刻/最暗淡的时刻
大多数二十多岁的男人处于他一生中最暗淡的时刻，没事业，没钱。二十多岁的女人正处于她一生中最光彩的时刻，她年轻，她漂亮。 所以20多岁的男人更应该珍惜在这个时候爱他的女人，因为她是用她一生中最光彩的时刻来陪伴你一生中最暗淡的时刻!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Being Positive
Finally, this post is up. What i have now, what i am now, whom i'm with now, who i have now is all very much thankful to one word 'positive'. I used to be pessimistic and i realise pessimism is contagious in its own way, and as it spreads, it gets worse and worse. There is no particular medicine, no particular cure. The only way is to be positive. Sounds simple? NOT AT ALL.
It's always easier said than done. There are always so much talk about being positive. It's sooo easy to say it, but to perform it, it's really difficult. It takes alot of courage, because you are risking. Being positive doesn't mean ignoring what is happening around you and living within some kind of a "positive bubble".
Definitely, no one can expect someone who is going through problems or disasters, or living in difficult circumstances, to ignore his/her present condition and start thinking positively right away. However, it is easier to think positively in comfortable situation and not in the midst of problems or a difficult situation.
So what is being positive? Saying that everything is going to be all right, smiling with no reason or ignoring problems and difficulties, without trying to solve them, is not being positive. It is being unpractical. I suppose being positive could mean to expect the best and believe that a bad situation would improve which is quite practical in some sense. Being positive can be looking for opportunities and for solutions, instead of doing nothing and blaming everybody for their troubles. It's bad enough bad situations or problems occur, therefore, don't dwell on their problems, live in self-pity because it just makes everything else worse.
Many often, when going through bad times, faced by disasters, misfortune or hardships, became despondent, negative and unhappy. It's as though there are no longer any solution to whatever they are facing at that point of time. These cirsumstances and situations then affect the mood and state of mind. Yes, although being positive will not make circumstances and condition disappear, as if by magic, but with a positive attitude you can improve the situation and be more in control of your state of mind, your reactions and your behavior. No one can control the external circumstances, but we can always change our sttitude and the way we feel, even if it means to make us feel a little bit better, even if it means to make us feel better for just a little short while.
It is not easy for that in difficult situations to think positively. This idea might not arise straight away but it's just that some would choose not to let the events they go through to affect their mind, and they are therefore happier and suffer less.
Even in the midst of war, people can think of peace. Even in the midst of disasters, people can see light and seek solace. Positive thinking is being hopeful, and hope brings light and happiness for one. One can dwell in fear and negative expectations, but and one can also try to do the best under the circumstances. It is a matter of choice.
-to be continued-
It's always easier said than done. There are always so much talk about being positive. It's sooo easy to say it, but to perform it, it's really difficult. It takes alot of courage, because you are risking. Being positive doesn't mean ignoring what is happening around you and living within some kind of a "positive bubble".
Definitely, no one can expect someone who is going through problems or disasters, or living in difficult circumstances, to ignore his/her present condition and start thinking positively right away. However, it is easier to think positively in comfortable situation and not in the midst of problems or a difficult situation.
So what is being positive? Saying that everything is going to be all right, smiling with no reason or ignoring problems and difficulties, without trying to solve them, is not being positive. It is being unpractical. I suppose being positive could mean to expect the best and believe that a bad situation would improve which is quite practical in some sense. Being positive can be looking for opportunities and for solutions, instead of doing nothing and blaming everybody for their troubles. It's bad enough bad situations or problems occur, therefore, don't dwell on their problems, live in self-pity because it just makes everything else worse.
Many often, when going through bad times, faced by disasters, misfortune or hardships, became despondent, negative and unhappy. It's as though there are no longer any solution to whatever they are facing at that point of time. These cirsumstances and situations then affect the mood and state of mind. Yes, although being positive will not make circumstances and condition disappear, as if by magic, but with a positive attitude you can improve the situation and be more in control of your state of mind, your reactions and your behavior. No one can control the external circumstances, but we can always change our sttitude and the way we feel, even if it means to make us feel a little bit better, even if it means to make us feel better for just a little short while.
It is not easy for that in difficult situations to think positively. This idea might not arise straight away but it's just that some would choose not to let the events they go through to affect their mind, and they are therefore happier and suffer less.
Even in the midst of war, people can think of peace. Even in the midst of disasters, people can see light and seek solace. Positive thinking is being hopeful, and hope brings light and happiness for one. One can dwell in fear and negative expectations, but and one can also try to do the best under the circumstances. It is a matter of choice.
-to be continued-
Saturday, January 23, 2010
It's Been Awhile Now
It's been quite awhile now. Everything is just starting to set in and fitting in perfectly well. Slowly and slowly, stability finds it way through the course. I'm glad it eventually did anyway. Path is getting clearer and the trails left behind never fails to stay and serve as a reminder or memory.
Chinese New Year is coming. I know it's not as happening as how i've enjoyed in when i was younger. But i can't wait for those goodies, those yummy food, and best of all, buying new clothes. This is the time of the year where i would really part with my money for clothes which i love. And guess what, shopping commences in less than 5 hours time and i simply can't wait.
Studies on the other hand has been tough. Probably much due to the fact that it's just the start of the module. I suppose it's a starting phase that i have to go through. It applies to all other aspect of life as well. But as i move myself towards graduation, i'm really glad i'm nearing the finishing line and hopefully, i can embark on my career as what i've always wanted and wish for.
Concerts! So many concerts this year! Green Day, The Killers (Damn, they cancelled in their last minute), The Muse, Rise Against, S.H.E, MayDay, JayChou, Boys Like Girls, Paramore etc...ooooo....but i'm going to be super broke if i catch all of them. Stupid Killers made me regretted not buying Green Day concert tickets instead, but then again, like what Bloms said, it's all fated. Just not meant to be. Alright, i shall put the money to good use. MayDay, here i come!!!!
Photos! I'm turning into a camwhore ever since i was 'born' because someone's back...i can't help it. I am seriously considering getting a camera. How now brown cow?
Chinese New Year is coming. I know it's not as happening as how i've enjoyed in when i was younger. But i can't wait for those goodies, those yummy food, and best of all, buying new clothes. This is the time of the year where i would really part with my money for clothes which i love. And guess what, shopping commences in less than 5 hours time and i simply can't wait.
Studies on the other hand has been tough. Probably much due to the fact that it's just the start of the module. I suppose it's a starting phase that i have to go through. It applies to all other aspect of life as well. But as i move myself towards graduation, i'm really glad i'm nearing the finishing line and hopefully, i can embark on my career as what i've always wanted and wish for.
Concerts! So many concerts this year! Green Day, The Killers (Damn, they cancelled in their last minute), The Muse, Rise Against, S.H.E, MayDay, JayChou, Boys Like Girls, Paramore etc...ooooo....but i'm going to be super broke if i catch all of them. Stupid Killers made me regretted not buying Green Day concert tickets instead, but then again, like what Bloms said, it's all fated. Just not meant to be. Alright, i shall put the money to good use. MayDay, here i come!!!!
Photos! I'm turning into a camwhore ever since i was 'born' because someone's back...i can't help it. I am seriously considering getting a camera. How now brown cow?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Disappointing Man Utd
I can't help but really blog about this. My passion is not as strong as before, largely due to the fact that my dad decided to remove Starhub Cable TV from our home sweet home. I choose to remain the Red Devils faithful but signing up for Singtel Mio TV for the soccer channels, not wanting to distance myself from Man Utd. But as i pen everything down now, they are literally disappointing every fans possible.
Not to mention the Glazers takeover which has already happened donkey years ago, and making Man Utd piling with debts that not you and i can ever paid for even 1/10 of it in our entire lifetime. Worse, the selling of C.Ronaldo doesn't seem to be doing Man Utd any good, even though until now, i still want to believe C.Ronaldo isn't what's behind Man Utd success in recent seasons. Lastly, their inconsistency and injury lists is the most worrying part. None and i really mean none, not even my Beloved Ryan Giggs, is consistent this season. Let alone the old white retard who loves chewing on his gum and has been standing by the sidelines for decades always not knowing what he is doing exactly.
Probably i sounded harsh, but put yourself in the shoes of every Red Devils fan, that is exactly how we will feel. Disappointment after disappointment. Loss after loss to opposing team which we would even not want to see and worse, losing to Leeds United, giving up the FA cup which Man Utd has claimed honours for years.
I dare not hope for anything else, but i'll just look forward to next season but meanwhile, i shall get myself into the mood of world cup. Hope Argentina don't disappoint as much as Man Utd does.
Go Argentines!
Not to mention the Glazers takeover which has already happened donkey years ago, and making Man Utd piling with debts that not you and i can ever paid for even 1/10 of it in our entire lifetime. Worse, the selling of C.Ronaldo doesn't seem to be doing Man Utd any good, even though until now, i still want to believe C.Ronaldo isn't what's behind Man Utd success in recent seasons. Lastly, their inconsistency and injury lists is the most worrying part. None and i really mean none, not even my Beloved Ryan Giggs, is consistent this season. Let alone the old white retard who loves chewing on his gum and has been standing by the sidelines for decades always not knowing what he is doing exactly.
Probably i sounded harsh, but put yourself in the shoes of every Red Devils fan, that is exactly how we will feel. Disappointment after disappointment. Loss after loss to opposing team which we would even not want to see and worse, losing to Leeds United, giving up the FA cup which Man Utd has claimed honours for years.
I dare not hope for anything else, but i'll just look forward to next season but meanwhile, i shall get myself into the mood of world cup. Hope Argentina don't disappoint as much as Man Utd does.
Go Argentines!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I Feel Blessed....
I can’t believe, even until now that I have such mentality…I realize, that I won’t be able to have that without a certain belief I held and still holds so strongly..
I suppose…it’s her, those ‘make so much sense’ quotes…those real life true touching stories….those meaningful song lyrics, those lessons I learnt from my past that really sees me through each and every single day….
Blessed…
I suppose…it’s her, those ‘make so much sense’ quotes…those real life true touching stories….those meaningful song lyrics, those lessons I learnt from my past that really sees me through each and every single day….
Blessed…
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
07 Jan 2010 - 一切的开始。。 [Edited]
Just like that, we're together. But if you look in between that three words 'just like that', there are so much of fine details, and it is basically these three words that brought us together eventually.
Everything seems amazing. So amazing i never thought that one day...
...i'll be saying i love you
From someone whom existence was once, barely noticed, crushed on you for bare two days, afterwhich, totally didn't bother about your existence. And there you go, becoming someone i love. Becoming a person i want to share my life with, becoming a person i want to commit in taking care and making you happy. Seiously, i'm not sure when did i fall in love with it, but i'm sure it all begins with something simple, so simple it can be described in one word, called like. I began liking your company, i began liking how you would share, i began liking your presence and eventually, i realised i missed all of those whenever you are not around, just so unknowingly. Slowly and slowly, i realise i needed them to make my day. I realise i need your presence to make me feel myself.
I kept my distance as much as possible. I knew my limits, i drew that line clearly and appropriately. Until i feel that i was given the go ahead, i go beyond slightly. To test myself, to make sure i was sure of myself, to make sure i was sure of my feelings, to make sure i was sure of what i want. At the same time, to test you, to test if you do like me or if not, my presence. My efforts were appreciated. I felt positive. I moved on day by day. I wanted to get closer to you. All of those, you react well. I can't help, but really simply can't help wanting to be even closer to you.
Eventually, i got affected by little twiny stuff about you. Simply everything and anything you do starts to affect me. I get upset or disappointed whenever you said things that makes me feel all is gone. I get superbly happy whenever you said things that makes me feel, i'm ready to make the next move.
Eventually i got myself into a 'do and fail terribly or do and continue' situation. I struggled the worst then. But the angel in me, wants me to give it a shot. To give this thing called love a shot again. Telling me how i shouldn't live in my shadow of the past. Telling me how i deserve someone better. Telling me how i myself can still give happiness and love to that someone better. Telling me how i should be positive. Telling me how i should try and fail rather than not try and regret it all. And finally, eventually i did, after much much much thought. I gave this so much thought that i can think of anything that could possibly be thought off, even until 'death do us part'. And possibly because of that, i'm amazed even by myself the amount of courage i had to confess to you. Everything feels magical, that i feel i had my own fairytale for a moment.
I started to ponder....
what if i didn't include you into those chain emails
what if my previous relationship didn't failed
what if you rejected my request to ask you out
what if i didn't drive out at times to go supper with you
what if i didn't joined MR years ago
what if i didn't go Japan
and finally the big qns, what if i didnt confess.......
All the 'what ifs' made me feel, fate plays a huge chunk of most of it. It's almost everything was pre planned. It's as though all of those mentioned was destined and suppose to be. It''s like we had to go through what we went through. It's as though all that happened for a reason, for a reason we didn't realise, for a reason we didn't think it is and eventually for a reason we are starting to accept and eventually it's for that reason we are finally together.
I know how hard both of us tried to keep our belief. I was extremely happy when you let known your feelings that day. It made me feel, appreciated. It made me feel that i can once again believe in love. It made me feel, important to you to a certain extent. With that, i became positive, wanting to show your my sincerity, wanting to put my words into action, wanting to let you feel loved, wanting to make you happy, wanting to make you find your happy self back, wanting to make you know, all is gone but not lost.
There's ups and downs throughout. I don't know, call it lucky, which i do feel. I'm lucky to fall in love with a friend. Lucky because i need not guess what kind of person you are. Lucky because i know who i'm falling in love with. Lucky because i do not have to guess so much into you. All that, i felt so strongly, i found the right one. When i see how pessimistic you are sometimes, it got into me, but never once did i felt disheartened and wanting to give up. Instead, i remained positive and hope i can help you tide over this tough period.
We too had our good days. All those moments make me even sure of what i've got myself into. It made me even sure of who i am really with. All that makes me feel that i'm ready to fall in love again, makes me feel i'm ready to commit a relationship with you. Although there's hesitation, nevertheless, my belief held so strongly all because my feelings was so overwhelming and it overcomes all of that.
Now that we're together. I realised how much i'm willing to do for you yet again. All these are those never before feeling. Somehow, i matured. Maybe not, but i feel that way. I will work hard, i must work hard and i am doing so, because i see a future with you right now that i want to build on, and i realise and know i can't do this alone but with you. And for all of the above mentioned, i want to let you know...I Love You
Everything seems amazing. So amazing i never thought that one day...
...i'll be saying i love you
From someone whom existence was once, barely noticed, crushed on you for bare two days, afterwhich, totally didn't bother about your existence. And there you go, becoming someone i love. Becoming a person i want to share my life with, becoming a person i want to commit in taking care and making you happy. Seiously, i'm not sure when did i fall in love with it, but i'm sure it all begins with something simple, so simple it can be described in one word, called like. I began liking your company, i began liking how you would share, i began liking your presence and eventually, i realised i missed all of those whenever you are not around, just so unknowingly. Slowly and slowly, i realise i needed them to make my day. I realise i need your presence to make me feel myself.
I kept my distance as much as possible. I knew my limits, i drew that line clearly and appropriately. Until i feel that i was given the go ahead, i go beyond slightly. To test myself, to make sure i was sure of myself, to make sure i was sure of my feelings, to make sure i was sure of what i want. At the same time, to test you, to test if you do like me or if not, my presence. My efforts were appreciated. I felt positive. I moved on day by day. I wanted to get closer to you. All of those, you react well. I can't help, but really simply can't help wanting to be even closer to you.
Eventually, i got affected by little twiny stuff about you. Simply everything and anything you do starts to affect me. I get upset or disappointed whenever you said things that makes me feel all is gone. I get superbly happy whenever you said things that makes me feel, i'm ready to make the next move.
Eventually i got myself into a 'do and fail terribly or do and continue' situation. I struggled the worst then. But the angel in me, wants me to give it a shot. To give this thing called love a shot again. Telling me how i shouldn't live in my shadow of the past. Telling me how i deserve someone better. Telling me how i myself can still give happiness and love to that someone better. Telling me how i should be positive. Telling me how i should try and fail rather than not try and regret it all. And finally, eventually i did, after much much much thought. I gave this so much thought that i can think of anything that could possibly be thought off, even until 'death do us part'. And possibly because of that, i'm amazed even by myself the amount of courage i had to confess to you. Everything feels magical, that i feel i had my own fairytale for a moment.
I started to ponder....
what if i didn't include you into those chain emails
what if my previous relationship didn't failed
what if you rejected my request to ask you out
what if i didn't drive out at times to go supper with you
what if i didn't joined MR years ago
what if i didn't go Japan
and finally the big qns, what if i didnt confess.......
All the 'what ifs' made me feel, fate plays a huge chunk of most of it. It's almost everything was pre planned. It's as though all of those mentioned was destined and suppose to be. It''s like we had to go through what we went through. It's as though all that happened for a reason, for a reason we didn't realise, for a reason we didn't think it is and eventually for a reason we are starting to accept and eventually it's for that reason we are finally together.
I know how hard both of us tried to keep our belief. I was extremely happy when you let known your feelings that day. It made me feel, appreciated. It made me feel that i can once again believe in love. It made me feel, important to you to a certain extent. With that, i became positive, wanting to show your my sincerity, wanting to put my words into action, wanting to let you feel loved, wanting to make you happy, wanting to make you find your happy self back, wanting to make you know, all is gone but not lost.
There's ups and downs throughout. I don't know, call it lucky, which i do feel. I'm lucky to fall in love with a friend. Lucky because i need not guess what kind of person you are. Lucky because i know who i'm falling in love with. Lucky because i do not have to guess so much into you. All that, i felt so strongly, i found the right one. When i see how pessimistic you are sometimes, it got into me, but never once did i felt disheartened and wanting to give up. Instead, i remained positive and hope i can help you tide over this tough period.
We too had our good days. All those moments make me even sure of what i've got myself into. It made me even sure of who i am really with. All that makes me feel that i'm ready to fall in love again, makes me feel i'm ready to commit a relationship with you. Although there's hesitation, nevertheless, my belief held so strongly all because my feelings was so overwhelming and it overcomes all of that.
Now that we're together. I realised how much i'm willing to do for you yet again. All these are those never before feeling. Somehow, i matured. Maybe not, but i feel that way. I will work hard, i must work hard and i am doing so, because i see a future with you right now that i want to build on, and i realise and know i can't do this alone but with you. And for all of the above mentioned, i want to let you know...I Love You
Saturday, January 09, 2010
The Day Came
-continued-
Never expected. It just came so unexpectedly and amazingly. Even i couldn't believe it myself at times. Reflecting on last year, it's like impossible. I thought i'll believe in it again, all because everything seems to be so impossible. The pessimism carries me through most of last year, until I was able to share this pessimism. Somehow, it’s not only the listening that did good, but the sharing helps a lot. Gradually, I was able to see things on a different light, she made it easier and possible.
Little by little, everything got accumulated. The initial intention slowly and steadily, has its change of course. It became and developed into something I didn’t realize until it came knocking so unknowingly, at the least expected place and timing. The disbelief slowly turns into an eagerness that makes me feel like pursuing it. Slowly, I asked myself, why didn’t I realize and noticed before. Probably, it’s what they say the right person with the right timing, fate brought and pieced everything together nicely.
It wasn’t easy, yet it wasn’t totally vague. The consequences was known, the uncertainty decreased but there are fear still. The huge boulder is off my load, and the assurance is making me sure and more committed then before. I had followed my heart all along, and it did served me well like how others did successfully before. I rolled on to learnt from my past, and apply it for the future, in hope that everything will work out despite the expectance of problems in future, all because this is probably just about one of the wishes I had fulfilled. There are no seas without waves, no roads without humps, no flight without turbulence. It’s only all about how we worked through that, that would make everything else a more memorable and better one. I trust myself to do the utmost and yes, I have that faith – for Bloms.
Never expected. It just came so unexpectedly and amazingly. Even i couldn't believe it myself at times. Reflecting on last year, it's like impossible. I thought i'll believe in it again, all because everything seems to be so impossible. The pessimism carries me through most of last year, until I was able to share this pessimism. Somehow, it’s not only the listening that did good, but the sharing helps a lot. Gradually, I was able to see things on a different light, she made it easier and possible.
Little by little, everything got accumulated. The initial intention slowly and steadily, has its change of course. It became and developed into something I didn’t realize until it came knocking so unknowingly, at the least expected place and timing. The disbelief slowly turns into an eagerness that makes me feel like pursuing it. Slowly, I asked myself, why didn’t I realize and noticed before. Probably, it’s what they say the right person with the right timing, fate brought and pieced everything together nicely.
It wasn’t easy, yet it wasn’t totally vague. The consequences was known, the uncertainty decreased but there are fear still. The huge boulder is off my load, and the assurance is making me sure and more committed then before. I had followed my heart all along, and it did served me well like how others did successfully before. I rolled on to learnt from my past, and apply it for the future, in hope that everything will work out despite the expectance of problems in future, all because this is probably just about one of the wishes I had fulfilled. There are no seas without waves, no roads without humps, no flight without turbulence. It’s only all about how we worked through that, that would make everything else a more memorable and better one. I trust myself to do the utmost and yes, I have that faith – for Bloms.
Marriage Is Good For Health
Source from ChannelNewsAsia.
WELLINGTON : Despite the barbs of comedians and the spectacular bust-ups documented in the gossip magazines, marriage really is good for you, international research has found.
A study of nearly 34,500 people in 15 countries found married people are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and substance abuse, clinical psychologist Kate Scott of New Zealand's University of Otago said Tuesday.
"What our study points to is that the marital relationship offers a lot of mental health benefits for both men and women, and that the distress and disruption associated with ending marriage can make people vulnerable to developing mental disorders," Scott said.
Being separated, divorced, or widowed is associated with increased risk of mental health disorders in both men and women, particularly with depression in men and drugs and alcohol abuse in women.
"One of the more important findings is that in recent years it has been asserted that marriage is better for men than for women in terms of mental health. This study does not agree with that position," Scott said.
"We found that compared to never getting married, getting married is good for both men and women in terms of most mental health disorders."
But the study did find that men were less likely to become depressed in their first marriage than women, and Scott said this might be due to women being more likely to follow the traditional role of a wife first time around.
Other studies have found that as gender roles have become less traditional, with women working more and becoming better educated, female depression has fallen.
The latest study also found getting married reduced the risk of substance abuse more for women than for men.
This might be due to evidence that women cut their alcohol consumption sharply when they became pregnant and this often continued while the children were young, Scott said.
The study was based on the WHO World Mental Health surveys across developing and developed countries conducted over the past decade.
WELLINGTON : Despite the barbs of comedians and the spectacular bust-ups documented in the gossip magazines, marriage really is good for you, international research has found.
A study of nearly 34,500 people in 15 countries found married people are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and substance abuse, clinical psychologist Kate Scott of New Zealand's University of Otago said Tuesday.
"What our study points to is that the marital relationship offers a lot of mental health benefits for both men and women, and that the distress and disruption associated with ending marriage can make people vulnerable to developing mental disorders," Scott said.
Being separated, divorced, or widowed is associated with increased risk of mental health disorders in both men and women, particularly with depression in men and drugs and alcohol abuse in women.
"One of the more important findings is that in recent years it has been asserted that marriage is better for men than for women in terms of mental health. This study does not agree with that position," Scott said.
"We found that compared to never getting married, getting married is good for both men and women in terms of most mental health disorders."
But the study did find that men were less likely to become depressed in their first marriage than women, and Scott said this might be due to women being more likely to follow the traditional role of a wife first time around.
Other studies have found that as gender roles have become less traditional, with women working more and becoming better educated, female depression has fallen.
The latest study also found getting married reduced the risk of substance abuse more for women than for men.
This might be due to evidence that women cut their alcohol consumption sharply when they became pregnant and this often continued while the children were young, Scott said.
The study was based on the WHO World Mental Health surveys across developing and developed countries conducted over the past decade.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Good Enough?
Everyone ponders that. It's a food for thought. I used to come to a stage whereby i ask this question to myself. Although i hardly ask myself that question anymore, but it's seriously something for us to think about at times. I'm not the only one who ponder over this question on whether are we good enough or not. It's difficult to define whether you are good enough or not. What seems to be good might just be the other way round for the other. This question need not be specific but can encompass everything, anything you can think of literally.
Definitely, there are many times when i feel that i'm not good for anything. Questions slowly float over your head, "Why am I the way i am now? "Who could have love me for who i am?". If i be frank to myself, sometimes, when that question came to my mind, i would gladly pull myself apart by going through every aspect and every part of me and saying what i hate about myself and getting more depressed, but i realised it's a wrong move, seriously. It's always easier to pinpoint at others, sometimes yourself but when you start to get pessimistic about life, you begin to lose that confidence. What's worse is we can fall into the trap of only listening to the negative things people have to say about us and not the positive ones. Yes, it can be difficult to not believe what are really just lies, especially when it comes from someone who's close or dear to you. One area the negativity can manifest itself is through our own pessimism. Therefore, it's sometimes hard not to be deceived.
No one is alone seriously. Because most of all are human, we feel almost the same. We have our down side, we have our good moments. All it takes sometimes it to just grab hold and pull yourself out of the self loathing. If we all walked around with a sign asking for what we most wanted in our lives the sign would say 'love me'. It's an ideal self image that one is trying to build. It's like this scenario of 'Love me the way I am. I know I am so imperfect but I do try.'
The thing is that obviously we don't carry that very sign but instead, we carry an invisible one. We all need love, be it when and from who. But you can't receive love until you learn to love yourself.
Do you?
Definitely, there are many times when i feel that i'm not good for anything. Questions slowly float over your head, "Why am I the way i am now? "Who could have love me for who i am?". If i be frank to myself, sometimes, when that question came to my mind, i would gladly pull myself apart by going through every aspect and every part of me and saying what i hate about myself and getting more depressed, but i realised it's a wrong move, seriously. It's always easier to pinpoint at others, sometimes yourself but when you start to get pessimistic about life, you begin to lose that confidence. What's worse is we can fall into the trap of only listening to the negative things people have to say about us and not the positive ones. Yes, it can be difficult to not believe what are really just lies, especially when it comes from someone who's close or dear to you. One area the negativity can manifest itself is through our own pessimism. Therefore, it's sometimes hard not to be deceived.
No one is alone seriously. Because most of all are human, we feel almost the same. We have our down side, we have our good moments. All it takes sometimes it to just grab hold and pull yourself out of the self loathing. If we all walked around with a sign asking for what we most wanted in our lives the sign would say 'love me'. It's an ideal self image that one is trying to build. It's like this scenario of 'Love me the way I am. I know I am so imperfect but I do try.'
The thing is that obviously we don't carry that very sign but instead, we carry an invisible one. We all need love, be it when and from who. But you can't receive love until you learn to love yourself.
Do you?
True?
Life is not about the people who seems true in front... But it''s about the people who remain true behind you!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Changes..
Changes. How many is adaptive to this word? How many is able to able to accept and welcome it positively? Some usually fear changes because of the uncertainty it brings. Some usually welcome it with both hands because of the good they hoped it might bring. Not being adaptive to changes, can it be a flaw?
Somehow, sometimes, adapting to changes is not about how we survive the change but more importantly, how we thrive over that change. Surviving the change doesn't mean anything seriously, it's probably just a start of what seems to be a process of making that change a good one or bad one.
Changes are feared at times but sometimes, it's not fear but it's purely misinterpretation of the situation possibly because of misplaced trust. It gets so overwhelming at times that it hit the confidence level, it allow frustration to sets in, it overcomes our courage, it make us lose the overall ability to trust even ourselves, not to mention others.
Changes, be it big or small, it will require participative actions. Only then will we be able to work out the chances in time to come. Work round it if it doesn't work going straight.
Try to fail but don't fail to try - Stephen Kaggwa (it's better to try and fail than never to try at all). We human sometimes won't want to pass that opportunity or grow older and allow those 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'to keep growing all over your head.
Changing our minds or hearts will change our lives. It's ultimately is very dependent on us. I gave it all nothing but serious and long thought, since the start. Slowly and slowly, i realise, it's making use of the time and adapting to the necessary changes. It's like a water bubbles slowly moving downside into the centre, combining into one water bubble altogether. I'll see myself in that water bubble soon..
Somehow, sometimes, adapting to changes is not about how we survive the change but more importantly, how we thrive over that change. Surviving the change doesn't mean anything seriously, it's probably just a start of what seems to be a process of making that change a good one or bad one.
Changes are feared at times but sometimes, it's not fear but it's purely misinterpretation of the situation possibly because of misplaced trust. It gets so overwhelming at times that it hit the confidence level, it allow frustration to sets in, it overcomes our courage, it make us lose the overall ability to trust even ourselves, not to mention others.
Changes, be it big or small, it will require participative actions. Only then will we be able to work out the chances in time to come. Work round it if it doesn't work going straight.
Try to fail but don't fail to try - Stephen Kaggwa (it's better to try and fail than never to try at all). We human sometimes won't want to pass that opportunity or grow older and allow those 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'to keep growing all over your head.
Changing our minds or hearts will change our lives. It's ultimately is very dependent on us. I gave it all nothing but serious and long thought, since the start. Slowly and slowly, i realise, it's making use of the time and adapting to the necessary changes. It's like a water bubbles slowly moving downside into the centre, combining into one water bubble altogether. I'll see myself in that water bubble soon..
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Zodiac / Horoscope Reading
Zodiac Reading for those born in year of Ox
The Ox loves methodical planning and everything working out in the correct time. The Year of the Tiger will throw all this to the wind with it’s fast pace and unexpected developments! People born under this sign may find 2010 a challenge but in a good way. The Ox will have to adapt to new routines, delays and obtacles thrown in his way, but he will be well able for any task and may find new hidden talents and personal power he didn’t know existed. Hobbies, relaxing pursuits and friendships will all be beautifully highlighted during the Year of the Tiger and will provide a welcome relief to any stresses he may face. Home improvements and redecorating plans will move forward smoothly with excellent results. Career opportunities will present themselves from April to June, while exciting, intense romantic encounters are likely in July, August and December. An important aspect for those under this sign in 2010 is to be mindful and caring of loved ones. It will be crucial to listen to them and also to accept any help they may offer during this changeable year.
Horoscope reading for Scorpio
This year is ideal to take strong initiatives in your professional life, they will not miss impact. You have force to overcome your fears to launch a project and all that is relating to creations in the broad sense. You affirm yourselves in manner more incisor than usual, you will seek to make developments in your relations, while going at the bottom of things. On the other hand, you are extremely likely to badly put at ease certain people you will have desire for causing so that they are shown under their true day. Be careful with abuses, do not believe that everyone needs this “shock treatment” to be shown such as he is… You will be tempted to resort to power struggles to mark your presence. Some disappoint you, others will be for you invaluable supports, you do not turn sour in front of these transformations you will have caused…, Take the advantage of the depth of your reasoning before acting to avoid making decisions too quickly, wait for April.
Love
This year starts under passion sign, it will be all or nothing, black or green! You feel life instincts which encourage you to benefit from good, you will have greatest difficulties to be reasonable, for your greater pleasure. As from April, you will fully follow this program, Love will be definitely your war-horse, you will be able to count on your attraction and persuasion capacities to arrive at living passion aspects of your desires. Profit in to entrust these secrecies which encumber you and to live your dreams… The power of your libido encourages you with excesses terribly tempting. By exceeding you in your intimacy, you will be fully in agreement with yourself. Indeed, you progress towards a better knowledge of yourself which ultimately will facilitate choices to you than you will have to make as from May with your partner or to radically transform your love life. Some couples will have to face storms or questionings which can lead to breaking up even temporary. Agreements of surface will not be sufficient any more in your eyes, you, even if it means will raise questions at the bottom of things which shock. There your sentimental sky is stabilized positively as from August, you start a new cycle in which you can build on better bases.
Wealth
This year is announced very constructive on the financial plan. Indeed, you will have in heart to consolidate your position, to reinforce your bases, and more particularly to liquidate your liability. You resolutely sort your invoices with good sense, it is the moment to make some sacrifices for a better financial balance. Your initiatives are supported by Jupiter’s energy which throughout the year encourages you to sign positive agreements in the long run, bill books, judicious placements, essential insurances, etc…. You will develop strategies to improve your long-term standard of living, you will have any latitude to devote yourself to what is really essential to you all while removing you from superfluity. The end of the year is favourable if you must make a sale of a good which belongs to you.
Relationship
You should make a temperance effort during the first four months of the year. You will tend to carry you easily, to direct you on your positions with ferocity. You can round angles without losing your assets nor your power of persuasion, be diplomat… Moreover you are sufficiently sure to let you release ballast and grant the benefit of the doubt without anything to lose there. It is as from April that you will have more facilities to leave weapons to the cloakroom, this period, until November incites you to collaborate more closely and more effectively with your entourage. Be careful on the other hand do not make promises with light, nor of concessions impossible to hold, seek balance.
Vitality
This year will be far from being of any rest, more especially as your excessivity and your emotional reactivity are likely to absorb you completely. You do not let go to subjective feelings, keep cool, take advantage from good aspects of existence which arise to you, without thinking about the past or making feel guilty. Your vitality is excellent in the whole throughout these twelve months, it is your psychic energy which will be requested. You will have absolutely to spare you as soon as possible and resource yourself in your intimacy cocoon, you will find there means surest to reload your batteries. Your form is mitigated between April and the end of June, with blows which you feel should incite you with more the calm one and of retreat. All therapies and cares related to water will be favourable to you. A feeling of respite comes to you in July and will allow you to blow nervously, it is time to benefit in all serenity from your leisure.
The Ox loves methodical planning and everything working out in the correct time. The Year of the Tiger will throw all this to the wind with it’s fast pace and unexpected developments! People born under this sign may find 2010 a challenge but in a good way. The Ox will have to adapt to new routines, delays and obtacles thrown in his way, but he will be well able for any task and may find new hidden talents and personal power he didn’t know existed. Hobbies, relaxing pursuits and friendships will all be beautifully highlighted during the Year of the Tiger and will provide a welcome relief to any stresses he may face. Home improvements and redecorating plans will move forward smoothly with excellent results. Career opportunities will present themselves from April to June, while exciting, intense romantic encounters are likely in July, August and December. An important aspect for those under this sign in 2010 is to be mindful and caring of loved ones. It will be crucial to listen to them and also to accept any help they may offer during this changeable year.
Horoscope reading for Scorpio
This year, you start a new cycle of your life. It is in you that many changes will finally occur in a visible way. You are ready to concretize aspirations you have contemplated in the shade for three years. Your external vitality is increased during this time, you feel strong impulses to live fully in harmony with your ideals.
WorkThis year is ideal to take strong initiatives in your professional life, they will not miss impact. You have force to overcome your fears to launch a project and all that is relating to creations in the broad sense. You affirm yourselves in manner more incisor than usual, you will seek to make developments in your relations, while going at the bottom of things. On the other hand, you are extremely likely to badly put at ease certain people you will have desire for causing so that they are shown under their true day. Be careful with abuses, do not believe that everyone needs this “shock treatment” to be shown such as he is… You will be tempted to resort to power struggles to mark your presence. Some disappoint you, others will be for you invaluable supports, you do not turn sour in front of these transformations you will have caused…, Take the advantage of the depth of your reasoning before acting to avoid making decisions too quickly, wait for April.
Love
This year starts under passion sign, it will be all or nothing, black or green! You feel life instincts which encourage you to benefit from good, you will have greatest difficulties to be reasonable, for your greater pleasure. As from April, you will fully follow this program, Love will be definitely your war-horse, you will be able to count on your attraction and persuasion capacities to arrive at living passion aspects of your desires. Profit in to entrust these secrecies which encumber you and to live your dreams… The power of your libido encourages you with excesses terribly tempting. By exceeding you in your intimacy, you will be fully in agreement with yourself. Indeed, you progress towards a better knowledge of yourself which ultimately will facilitate choices to you than you will have to make as from May with your partner or to radically transform your love life. Some couples will have to face storms or questionings which can lead to breaking up even temporary. Agreements of surface will not be sufficient any more in your eyes, you, even if it means will raise questions at the bottom of things which shock. There your sentimental sky is stabilized positively as from August, you start a new cycle in which you can build on better bases.
Wealth
This year is announced very constructive on the financial plan. Indeed, you will have in heart to consolidate your position, to reinforce your bases, and more particularly to liquidate your liability. You resolutely sort your invoices with good sense, it is the moment to make some sacrifices for a better financial balance. Your initiatives are supported by Jupiter’s energy which throughout the year encourages you to sign positive agreements in the long run, bill books, judicious placements, essential insurances, etc…. You will develop strategies to improve your long-term standard of living, you will have any latitude to devote yourself to what is really essential to you all while removing you from superfluity. The end of the year is favourable if you must make a sale of a good which belongs to you.
Relationship
You should make a temperance effort during the first four months of the year. You will tend to carry you easily, to direct you on your positions with ferocity. You can round angles without losing your assets nor your power of persuasion, be diplomat… Moreover you are sufficiently sure to let you release ballast and grant the benefit of the doubt without anything to lose there. It is as from April that you will have more facilities to leave weapons to the cloakroom, this period, until November incites you to collaborate more closely and more effectively with your entourage. Be careful on the other hand do not make promises with light, nor of concessions impossible to hold, seek balance.
Vitality
This year will be far from being of any rest, more especially as your excessivity and your emotional reactivity are likely to absorb you completely. You do not let go to subjective feelings, keep cool, take advantage from good aspects of existence which arise to you, without thinking about the past or making feel guilty. Your vitality is excellent in the whole throughout these twelve months, it is your psychic energy which will be requested. You will have absolutely to spare you as soon as possible and resource yourself in your intimacy cocoon, you will find there means surest to reload your batteries. Your form is mitigated between April and the end of June, with blows which you feel should incite you with more the calm one and of retreat. All therapies and cares related to water will be favourable to you. A feeling of respite comes to you in July and will allow you to blow nervously, it is time to benefit in all serenity from your leisure.
Goodbye 2009
Year 2009 saw a rollercoaster of up and down. It was a bad start to the year with a ending on a good note. Nevertheless, a special year for me (being single after nearly 30 months), after ending a failed relationship, tussled with it for months in the early part of the year.
Year 2009 was the only year by far i travelled that much, almost to 6 countries. I realised my passion for travelling is still there. Work has been smooth, although not so much for studies. Throughout this year, studies has been alright, although not too well towards the end of the year. NATAS Fair took a huge toil on me and it took me quite a fair bit on my part to get myself back.
Everything ends well eventually. My friendships blossomed with many, of which i treasured them. Learnt alot throughout this whole year as well, and last month of this year was so good, that i eventually did realise so many things.
I'll slowly reflect through my year....
January was a tough month. I was in a stage whereby i still had to be trapped in that emotional bad state. It cost me quite abit of time and effort. It was quite bad. Things became pessimistic and so negative i couldn't see any light. Nothing seems to matter. Signs were popping out all over and telling me how bad this year would have been. Plus the fact that MiuMiu is sick, which makes everything else worse.
'You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time' - adam lincoln
I took on the courage to finally tell everyone about everything. I'm glad for the support i got, which makes me moved on. I was then able to concentrate on my work and studies like never before.
Sadly, Miu Miu passed away not long after NATAS. It was a blow for my mum especially. He was like a gift from god actually and the bond we shared, i couldn't hold back my tears upon learning the news. He was and will be remembered always, no matter what.
Mauritius, the land whereby fairytale exist, almost. My first work trip and i can't go on to explain how much i've enjoyed and learnt. It's such a beautiful place that would definitely melt your heart.
I went travelling to both Genting and Ho Chi Minh even. Seeing so many things i've never did before, really wow-ed me. The culture, the food, the people, everything. It made me realise comfortably that i'm living in a safe and clean country where almost everything was taken care of. All that made me want to pin other nearby countries like Cambodia onto my list, not forgetting Penang and Ipoh which was dearly missed by me and Don.
Somehow, i feel so tempted to blog this part with regards to the 7 wonders of the year which just so happen to a different 7 wonders :-
NATAS fair was at it again and although tired, it was fun and fun and still fun. It's great to see how business is picking up and how we managed to survive this tough year. From a stage whereby everyone is fearing the sacking to a stage whereby everyone was working hard to make money for the company, it's rewarding to know everything eventually turned out well and was a huge success, which makes me feel, i can always do better.
I stepped foot into the land of Hong Kong and Macau finally. It was like a small little dream come true since young. The food and the shopping especially, tempted me. Macau and Hong Kong were a different destinations at its own end. One is a normal city in the day and dazzling sight at night, the other is a busy city on the day and buzzling destination at night. I would love to go back there again, definitely for the food i missed.
Not forgetting Hokkaido as well but this time round, it's autumn. Its yellow, red, orange maple leaves makes many jealous. Its cold weather was the first time i experience such temperature which was memorable for me. Something i wouldn't forget for my life and for the first time, i made some really good tour members which eventually became my friends.
First time MR celebrated my birthday. Not forgetting the rest as well. I'm showerd with nothing but presents, love and happiness filled that day even though the actual day happen to be my last day of my Hokkaido tour.
Halloween was indeed crazy as it can be. First time celebrated it and never did i expectmyself to be doing something like that. It used to be so far-fetched. And poof, i became some crazy serial killer which eventually, everyone had fun.
I must say, December got to be the best month of this year. Xmas lightings, Johore trips, intensive suppers trip, shopping, clubbing, whatever you can think of. I did the most courageous thing this year, partied at last, went to my first zoukout, ate my Johore bat kut teh, worked the least number of days in a month.
Interestingly, i loved this quote. Obviously, i'm at stage two. Somehow, i never believe in Santa Claus until this year.....i think i already have the best gift
Year 2009 was the only year by far i travelled that much, almost to 6 countries. I realised my passion for travelling is still there. Work has been smooth, although not so much for studies. Throughout this year, studies has been alright, although not too well towards the end of the year. NATAS Fair took a huge toil on me and it took me quite a fair bit on my part to get myself back.
Everything ends well eventually. My friendships blossomed with many, of which i treasured them. Learnt alot throughout this whole year as well, and last month of this year was so good, that i eventually did realise so many things.
I'll slowly reflect through my year....
January was a tough month. I was in a stage whereby i still had to be trapped in that emotional bad state. It cost me quite abit of time and effort. It was quite bad. Things became pessimistic and so negative i couldn't see any light. Nothing seems to matter. Signs were popping out all over and telling me how bad this year would have been. Plus the fact that MiuMiu is sick, which makes everything else worse.
'You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time' - adam lincoln
I took on the courage to finally tell everyone about everything. I'm glad for the support i got, which makes me moved on. I was then able to concentrate on my work and studies like never before.
Sadly, Miu Miu passed away not long after NATAS. It was a blow for my mum especially. He was like a gift from god actually and the bond we shared, i couldn't hold back my tears upon learning the news. He was and will be remembered always, no matter what.
Mauritius, the land whereby fairytale exist, almost. My first work trip and i can't go on to explain how much i've enjoyed and learnt. It's such a beautiful place that would definitely melt your heart.
I went travelling to both Genting and Ho Chi Minh even. Seeing so many things i've never did before, really wow-ed me. The culture, the food, the people, everything. It made me realise comfortably that i'm living in a safe and clean country where almost everything was taken care of. All that made me want to pin other nearby countries like Cambodia onto my list, not forgetting Penang and Ipoh which was dearly missed by me and Don.
Somehow, i feel so tempted to blog this part with regards to the 7 wonders of the year which just so happen to a different 7 wonders :-
- To Hear
- To Touch
- To Taste
- To Feel
- To Laugh
- To Love
It's my first time i touched my mum as well when i celebrated her birthday. That letter, which she eventually decided to frame it up, definitely touched her heart totally. I became teary when she told me how much she wanted me to burn it for her when she 'moved to heaven'. That was when, i reassured myself that my mother is the best person and dearest to me on earth. Her love to me was unique in its way and unconditional.
- To Touch
- To Taste
- To Feel
- To Laugh
- To Love
It's my first time i touched my mum as well when i celebrated her birthday. That letter, which she eventually decided to frame it up, definitely touched her heart totally. I became teary when she told me how much she wanted me to burn it for her when she 'moved to heaven'. That was when, i reassured myself that my mother is the best person and dearest to me on earth. Her love to me was unique in its way and unconditional.
NATAS fair was at it again and although tired, it was fun and fun and still fun. It's great to see how business is picking up and how we managed to survive this tough year. From a stage whereby everyone is fearing the sacking to a stage whereby everyone was working hard to make money for the company, it's rewarding to know everything eventually turned out well and was a huge success, which makes me feel, i can always do better.
I stepped foot into the land of Hong Kong and Macau finally. It was like a small little dream come true since young. The food and the shopping especially, tempted me. Macau and Hong Kong were a different destinations at its own end. One is a normal city in the day and dazzling sight at night, the other is a busy city on the day and buzzling destination at night. I would love to go back there again, definitely for the food i missed.
Not forgetting Hokkaido as well but this time round, it's autumn. Its yellow, red, orange maple leaves makes many jealous. Its cold weather was the first time i experience such temperature which was memorable for me. Something i wouldn't forget for my life and for the first time, i made some really good tour members which eventually became my friends.
First time MR celebrated my birthday. Not forgetting the rest as well. I'm showerd with nothing but presents, love and happiness filled that day even though the actual day happen to be my last day of my Hokkaido tour.
Halloween was indeed crazy as it can be. First time celebrated it and never did i expectmyself to be doing something like that. It used to be so far-fetched. And poof, i became some crazy serial killer which eventually, everyone had fun.
I must say, December got to be the best month of this year. Xmas lightings, Johore trips, intensive suppers trip, shopping, clubbing, whatever you can think of. I did the most courageous thing this year, partied at last, went to my first zoukout, ate my Johore bat kut teh, worked the least number of days in a month.
Eventually, everything ended on a good note. It was a vast difference between the start of the year and the end the year. Seriously, i hope 2010 would be a good year. There's more for me to look forward. I realise it's no longer how a day is meant to be by itself, but how i worked my way out to make my own day. Whatever happens, i hope i can end everyday on a good note like how i ended 2009. I will still miss the suppers, the jokes, the pourouts which makes up the bulk of what i can think of year 2009.....
-THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
-THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
Interestingly, i loved this quote. Obviously, i'm at stage two. Somehow, i never believe in Santa Claus until this year.....i think i already have the best gift
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I'm Happy
I realise this long ago, but today, this feeling is so strong.
Sometimes, i'm happy not because of myself, but i'm happy because someone else is happy.
Sometimes, i'm happy not because of myself, but i'm happy because someone else is happy.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
It's wonderful
to have someone to talk to over the phone when you are feeling so tired on your way home
to have someone to dream about
to have someone to cook for you
to have someone to share your woes, happiness
to have someone to whine
to have someone to worry for and be vexed about
to have someone to laugh about, laugh at and laugh with
to have someone to make you realise you are important
to have someone to make you do things you don't normally do
to have someone to feel jealous over
to have someone to make your day
to have someone to make you feel strong
to have someone to make you feel it's a state of bliss
to have someone to make you want to believe
to have someone to wake you up
to have someone to care for you
to have that someone.....
to have someone to dream about
to have someone to cook for you
to have someone to share your woes, happiness
to have someone to whine
to have someone to worry for and be vexed about
to have someone to laugh about, laugh at and laugh with
to have someone to make you realise you are important
to have someone to make you do things you don't normally do
to have someone to feel jealous over
to have someone to make your day
to have someone to make you feel strong
to have someone to make you feel it's a state of bliss
to have someone to make you want to believe
to have someone to wake you up
to have someone to care for you
to have that someone.....
Sunday, December 27, 2009
It has become a highway..
It's like a road you travel on
It's like one moment you are here, the next you are gone
It's like there are no U-turn at all
It's like at the speed you are driving at, it doesn't allow any hesitance
It can be rough sometimes, it can be smooth at times as well
It's like no matter how fast or slow you drive, you start noticing what's around you
It can be dangerous, yet it can be safeest route
It can be travelled fast or slow
In the end, you realise it's a highway to a better destination where no shortcuts will take you to...
It's like one moment you are here, the next you are gone
It's like there are no U-turn at all
It's like at the speed you are driving at, it doesn't allow any hesitance
It can be rough sometimes, it can be smooth at times as well
It's like no matter how fast or slow you drive, you start noticing what's around you
It can be dangerous, yet it can be safeest route
It can be travelled fast or slow
In the end, you realise it's a highway to a better destination where no shortcuts will take you to...
If i...let you go....
WestLife - If I Let You Go
Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? How will I know
If I let you go?
Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you)
You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go ?
If I let you go ooooh baby
Ooooooooohhhhh
Once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
Ooooooooohhhhh
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
But if I let you go I will never know
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go ?
Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? How will I know
If I let you go?
Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you)
You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go ?
If I let you go ooooh baby
Ooooooooohhhhh
Once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
Ooooooooohhhhh
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
But if I let you go I will never know
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go ?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
Yet again, it's this time of the year. Festive seasons with happy bells ringing. All year long, many have been waiting for this day. I remembered how i both look forward and dread Xmas. This year, is probably just different, yea, somehow, it's different.
Spread the joy. Enjoy the everything that comes with it. Merry Xmas.!
Spread the joy. Enjoy the everything that comes with it. Merry Xmas.!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
It's a Rollercoaster Ride
It is like a rollercoaster ride.
You know where you are going.
You know there bound to be ups and down.
You know the thrill and fear that comes with it.
You know there's no turning back.
You know you just got to ride it.
You know the risk involved even though nothing has happened before.
You know it makes you feel like flying sometimes.
You know after this ride, you will missed it.
You know that this ride will be a memorable one.
You know i love this ride.
You know where you are going.
You know there bound to be ups and down.
You know the thrill and fear that comes with it.
You know there's no turning back.
You know you just got to ride it.
You know the risk involved even though nothing has happened before.
You know it makes you feel like flying sometimes.
You know after this ride, you will missed it.
You know that this ride will be a memorable one.
You know i love this ride.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friends....
Friends. What is friends? Who can be considered my friends? Who deserve or do not deserve to be my friends? My entire life, much thanks to friends, i grew up, to be the person i am now. Also because of friends, i continue to learn and grow with them. Friends play an important part of my life. I'm sure those reading this knows that. Every single one of you, i want to let you know, you are my friend, true real friend.
It's sometimes very mysterious why we choose who we do as friend. Often we like a person right away based on some intuitive thought or feeling. When asked, we say that it just "felt" right. Other times we may observe someone for a while with admiration, and build up to a formal introduction. Friendship is a wonderful thing and is vitally important for personal growth and success.
Friendship itself is can be sparked by some kind of strange and electric power of attraction. This is what gives it such a terrific and seemingly magical power to tie people together so closely. All the same, our first impressions can often be mistaken. We've all made mistakes before in the friends we've chosen. Often, we'd like to ignore, forget, or believe that we had anything to do with the selection, but we shouldn't. It's these lessons that remind us that we are human and make mistakes, as-well-as the fact that not everyone we meet will enter into a relationship (whether business, personal, etc.), for the same reasons that we do. It's not right or wrong - good or bad. It's just life.
There's really no way to be 100% certain that everyone, or anyone, you choose as a friend will turn out to be a very good friends. Therefore, i am actually contented that i have two very close group of friends, both of which i regarded to be one of the few priorities of my life.
We human tend to look for people who share the same basic values that you do. Honesty, respect, individuality - these are all good qualities that a lot of people share. Having friends with these qualities will make it a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and at ease when you're with them. You want to develop friendships that will be both fun and rewarding - mutually beneficial to all parties involved. One person should never carry the burden of trying to make a relationship "work." It's a two way commmunication
Friends definitely will have different tastes than you do. Sometimes you may feel that a friend is not making a positive choice and discussing it is probably the best solution and choice.. Nothing is more important to friendship than communication and honesty. Friends are people who are willing to stick by you through thick and thin, who will be there when you need them, and will show you the understanding that you in turn give back. A friend you know you can depend on is one you will probably have for life.
There will be times when you feel that a friend of yours is consistently making bad choices, or is not treating you with respect. It is naturally important to see where your friend is coming from, and try to resolve any differences you might have. There are very few things as precious as having good friends, and you should not let them go easily. Hold onto your friendships; let them know you value them and do your best to solve problems as quickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and follow your heart!
For all of that, i really treasure all my friends and i'm thankful to them for what i am today as well.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Till We Part...
I held him in my own hands. I realised he is slightly bigger. His breathing still as fast. I can still remember how fondly everything was then i made him our pet, which eventually became my pet. He was one of the three i've picked. His partner, sadly, died one year before him. It brought great amount of grief and sadness to my mother and me.
I still remember how when i first held him in my hands, he was tiny. His eyes could barely open then. He was prominent out of the two, because of his grey colour fur. He was the better pet as well, because he doesn't bite, but he's always bullying Miu Miu in the initial stages of his life, before he was being bullied after that, few months before Miu Miu passed away.
He was fatter in some sense, because of his greediness. Though not as clever (he can never figure his own way home). Now that he's old (more than 2 years, or rather, 26 months old to be exact come next week), the fear is there. I didn't managed to send Miu Miu off well, and i don't want it to happen to ShooBing as well. He seems to be getting weaker day by day. No longer can i see his 'glorious' days whereby he would spinned his wheels, fast and loud, to make himself known in some sense.
He used to bite at strangers. He used to grine his teeth onto the cage grills. He used to run around actively. But now, everything slows down. He still sleep at his favourite spot with his favourite position. Which i'll fondly remember for the rest of my life. His furs began dropping, the concern exists, the fear arrives. Whatever it is, i really hope to spend some time with him, whom did meant something to me, before he left this very world.
I still remember how when i first held him in my hands, he was tiny. His eyes could barely open then. He was prominent out of the two, because of his grey colour fur. He was the better pet as well, because he doesn't bite, but he's always bullying Miu Miu in the initial stages of his life, before he was being bullied after that, few months before Miu Miu passed away.
He was fatter in some sense, because of his greediness. Though not as clever (he can never figure his own way home). Now that he's old (more than 2 years, or rather, 26 months old to be exact come next week), the fear is there. I didn't managed to send Miu Miu off well, and i don't want it to happen to ShooBing as well. He seems to be getting weaker day by day. No longer can i see his 'glorious' days whereby he would spinned his wheels, fast and loud, to make himself known in some sense.
He used to bite at strangers. He used to grine his teeth onto the cage grills. He used to run around actively. But now, everything slows down. He still sleep at his favourite spot with his favourite position. Which i'll fondly remember for the rest of my life. His furs began dropping, the concern exists, the fear arrives. Whatever it is, i really hope to spend some time with him, whom did meant something to me, before he left this very world.
Walk Your Own Journey
Never compare your journey with someone else’s. It’s a marathon with no finish line. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you, but every runner has his own pace. Your journey is your journey, not a competition. You will never “arrive”. No one ever does.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What Is Love?
What is love
Love is joy
Love is pain
Love is a feeling that cannot be explained
Love is what make one feel for another
So powerful
So true
-from Joe Barker-
Until it's actually, bittersweet.
Love is joy
Love is pain
Love is a feeling that cannot be explained
Love is what make one feel for another
So powerful
So true
-from Joe Barker-
Until it's actually, bittersweet.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
-Continued-
Loving someone could be so wonderful yet so painful. It is because with the greatest love, comes the deepest hurt. Thus, we should always be cautious in love so that we will not be encountering same heartaches. We love, get hurt, and learn before giving our heart again to someone. However, we should never be afraid to love again.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
What Hurts The Most?
The feeling right now, feel like bring in a coma state. It's like being in a 50-50 comatose in a hospital. There you are, comfortably lying on the bed, but yet, unconsciously bleeding. There you are, sleeping so softly and peacefully, but yet, silently hurting. There you are, continuously breathing but yet, slowly coping with everything else.
If only I’ve a time machine, I would rather be single up to the present moment, the old says it is better to have loved and lost then to never have love at all, and I found that it’s partially true because if you ever found someone you really love and at the end of the day, they changed and leave for better, what is left was just a bitten memory. It may seem to be nice and so lucky to have someone at the corner of the world still care and think of them everyday, but what it is sometimes nil, null and near impossible. Sometimes, it's just sinking the deep ocean, where sunshine hardly remain in touch and what surrounds is just dark and cold water.
-to be continued....-
If only I’ve a time machine, I would rather be single up to the present moment, the old says it is better to have loved and lost then to never have love at all, and I found that it’s partially true because if you ever found someone you really love and at the end of the day, they changed and leave for better, what is left was just a bitten memory. It may seem to be nice and so lucky to have someone at the corner of the world still care and think of them everyday, but what it is sometimes nil, null and near impossible. Sometimes, it's just sinking the deep ocean, where sunshine hardly remain in touch and what surrounds is just dark and cold water.
-to be continued....-
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
What If?
What if today was your last daY?
What if tomorrow is too late?
Could you have said goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live your moment like your last?
Leave the old memories in the past?
What if tomorrow is too late?
Could you have said goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live your moment like your last?
Leave the old memories in the past?
Monday, December 07, 2009
怎么说呢？
突然之间，好想把最近的东西都一一地写下来。
工作方面，简直是吃尽了酸甜苦辣。刚刚才换了个位子。总觉得还不错，但是很冷，真的很冷。对一个很怕冷的我来说，也是一点点的折磨。工作缓慢了下来，也慢慢地开始能喘口气。同事们一个一个地走，来应征的人，也一个一个地出现。拒绝了三个出国的机会，好以让自己能好好地专注在学业上以及跟朋友一起疯狂的玩。
学业方面是个好沉重的压力。这次的学业好像退步了不少，令我感到许多的失望。要在工作和学业上找到一个平衡点真的很不容易。但我觉得我已经在努力了。希望这次的考试，我不会搞得一塌糊涂。自从决定再次打开书本的那天，我就告诉自己我得把书念好。很庆幸的，我做到了。但对于这次的学业，我没有信心而只有无比的压力。
十二月终于来临。期待已久的十二月真的终于来了。这个月也是在这一年里最好玩的一天。购物，疯狂，大吃大喝，拍照，还有许多我好想做的东西，一时也想不起来。
现在的我放长假，心情也跟着愉快起来。希望那飘浮不定的情绪再也不会回来了。
噢！还有！好喜欢我现在的部落格。谢谢你。=）
工作方面，简直是吃尽了酸甜苦辣。刚刚才换了个位子。总觉得还不错，但是很冷，真的很冷。对一个很怕冷的我来说，也是一点点的折磨。工作缓慢了下来，也慢慢地开始能喘口气。同事们一个一个地走，来应征的人，也一个一个地出现。拒绝了三个出国的机会，好以让自己能好好地专注在学业上以及跟朋友一起疯狂的玩。
学业方面是个好沉重的压力。这次的学业好像退步了不少，令我感到许多的失望。要在工作和学业上找到一个平衡点真的很不容易。但我觉得我已经在努力了。希望这次的考试，我不会搞得一塌糊涂。自从决定再次打开书本的那天，我就告诉自己我得把书念好。很庆幸的，我做到了。但对于这次的学业，我没有信心而只有无比的压力。
十二月终于来临。期待已久的十二月真的终于来了。这个月也是在这一年里最好玩的一天。购物，疯狂，大吃大喝，拍照，还有许多我好想做的东西，一时也想不起来。
现在的我放长假，心情也跟着愉快起来。希望那飘浮不定的情绪再也不会回来了。
噢！还有！好喜欢我现在的部落格。谢谢你。=）
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Know What's BesT?
What you think is not good for you might eventually turn out to be the only best thing for you.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Never Give Up
(http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ap/20091124/twl-eu-belgium-coma-recovery-c8e2916.html)
BRUSSELS – For 23 torturous years, Rom Houben says he lay trapped in his paralyzed body, aware of what was going on around him but unable to tell anyone or even cry out.
The car-crash victim had been diagnosed as being in a vegetative state but appears to have been conscious the whole time. An expert using a specialized type of brain scan that was not available in the 1980s finally realized it, and unlocked Houben's mind again.
The 46-year-old Houben is now communicating with one finger and a special touchscreen on his wheelchair.
"Powerlessness. Utter powerlessness. At first I was angry, then I learned to live with it," he said, punching the message into the screen during an interview with the Belgian RTBF network, aired Monday. He has called his rescue his "renaissance."
Over the years, Houben's family refused to accept the word of his doctors, firmly believing their son knew what was happening around him, and gave no thought to letting him die, said his mother, Fina. She was vindicated when the breakthrough came.
"At that moment, you think, `Oh, my God. See, now you know.' I was always convinced," she said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.
The discovery took place three years ago but only recently came to light, after publication of a study on the misdiagnosis of people with consciousness disorders.
While a 23-year error is highly unusual, the wrong diagnosis of patients with consciousness disorders is far too common, according to the study, led by Steven Laureys of Belgium's Coma Science Group.
"Despite the importance of diagnostic accuracy, the rate of misdiagnosis of vegetative state has not substantially changed in the past 15 years," the study said. Back then, studies found that "up to 43 percent of patients with disorders of consciousness are erroneously assigned a diagnosis of vegetative state."
The issue is fraught with difficult medical and ethical questions. Patients diagnosed as being in a vegetative state with no hope of recovery are sometimes allowed to die, as was done in 2005 with Terri Schiavo, the severely brain-damaged Florida woman at the center of the biggest right-to-die case in U.S. history. Her feeding tube was removed.
"It makes you think. There is still a lot of work to be done" to better diagnose such disorders, said Caroline Schnakers of the Coma Science Group.
Houben was injured in an auto accident in 1983 when he was 20. Doctors said he fell into a coma at first, then went into a vegetative state.
A coma is a state of unconsciousness in which the eyes are closed and the patient cannot be roused. A vegetative state is a condition in which the eyes are open and can move, and the patient has periods of sleep and periods of wakefulness, but remains unconscious and cannot reason or respond.
During Houben's two lost decades, his eyesight was poor, but the experts say he could hear doctors, nurses and visitors to his bedside, and feel the touch of a relative. He says that during that time, he heard his father had died, but he was unable to show any emotion.
Over the years, Houben's skeptical mother took him to the United States five times for tests. More searching got her in touch with Laureys, who put Houben through a PET scan.
"We saw his brain was almost normal," said neuropsychologist Audrey Vanhaudenhuyse, who has worked with Houben for three years.
The family and doctors then began trying to establish communication. A breakthrough came when he was able to indicate yes or no by slightly moving his foot to push a computer device placed there by Laureys' team. Then came the spelling of words using the touchscreen.
Houben's condition has since been diagnosed as a form of "locked-in syndrome," in which people are unable to speak or move but can think and reason.
"You have to imagine yourself lying in bed wanting to speak and move but unable to do so _ while in your head you are OK," Vanhaudenhuyse said. "It was extremely difficult for him and he showed a lot of anger, which is normal since he was very frustrated."
With so much to say after suffering for so long in silence, Houben has started writing a book.
"He lives from day to day," his 73-year-old mother said. "He can be funny and happy," but is also given to black humor.
Recently he went to his father's grave for the planting of a tree.
"A letter he wrote was lowered into the grave through a tube," his mother said. "He closed his eyes for half an hour, because he cannot cry."
There is little hope that Houben's physical condition will get better, but his mother said she refuses to give up: "We continue to search and search. For 26 years already."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was touched by the above article. It wasn't what happened in terms of the medical technology that i'm focusing on, but the admiration on how much his parents always believed in him. The strong belief eventually paid off. Sadly, his dad wasn't around to see that very date he could express himself, but definitely something his mum would be overjoyed about...
That's about it. Belief. How many of us hold of to a certain belief that one day, something will happen? We get easily disheartened at moments of failures that often, we do not see how we could have hold on and then stay firm.
'When you reach the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on'
How true can the above quote get? Giving up is easily..but it's always holding on that makes life more fulfilling, although it's tough.
BRUSSELS – For 23 torturous years, Rom Houben says he lay trapped in his paralyzed body, aware of what was going on around him but unable to tell anyone or even cry out.
The car-crash victim had been diagnosed as being in a vegetative state but appears to have been conscious the whole time. An expert using a specialized type of brain scan that was not available in the 1980s finally realized it, and unlocked Houben's mind again.
The 46-year-old Houben is now communicating with one finger and a special touchscreen on his wheelchair.
"Powerlessness. Utter powerlessness. At first I was angry, then I learned to live with it," he said, punching the message into the screen during an interview with the Belgian RTBF network, aired Monday. He has called his rescue his "renaissance."
Over the years, Houben's family refused to accept the word of his doctors, firmly believing their son knew what was happening around him, and gave no thought to letting him die, said his mother, Fina. She was vindicated when the breakthrough came.
"At that moment, you think, `Oh, my God. See, now you know.' I was always convinced," she said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.
The discovery took place three years ago but only recently came to light, after publication of a study on the misdiagnosis of people with consciousness disorders.
While a 23-year error is highly unusual, the wrong diagnosis of patients with consciousness disorders is far too common, according to the study, led by Steven Laureys of Belgium's Coma Science Group.
"Despite the importance of diagnostic accuracy, the rate of misdiagnosis of vegetative state has not substantially changed in the past 15 years," the study said. Back then, studies found that "up to 43 percent of patients with disorders of consciousness are erroneously assigned a diagnosis of vegetative state."
The issue is fraught with difficult medical and ethical questions. Patients diagnosed as being in a vegetative state with no hope of recovery are sometimes allowed to die, as was done in 2005 with Terri Schiavo, the severely brain-damaged Florida woman at the center of the biggest right-to-die case in U.S. history. Her feeding tube was removed.
"It makes you think. There is still a lot of work to be done" to better diagnose such disorders, said Caroline Schnakers of the Coma Science Group.
Houben was injured in an auto accident in 1983 when he was 20. Doctors said he fell into a coma at first, then went into a vegetative state.
A coma is a state of unconsciousness in which the eyes are closed and the patient cannot be roused. A vegetative state is a condition in which the eyes are open and can move, and the patient has periods of sleep and periods of wakefulness, but remains unconscious and cannot reason or respond.
During Houben's two lost decades, his eyesight was poor, but the experts say he could hear doctors, nurses and visitors to his bedside, and feel the touch of a relative. He says that during that time, he heard his father had died, but he was unable to show any emotion.
Over the years, Houben's skeptical mother took him to the United States five times for tests. More searching got her in touch with Laureys, who put Houben through a PET scan.
"We saw his brain was almost normal," said neuropsychologist Audrey Vanhaudenhuyse, who has worked with Houben for three years.
The family and doctors then began trying to establish communication. A breakthrough came when he was able to indicate yes or no by slightly moving his foot to push a computer device placed there by Laureys' team. Then came the spelling of words using the touchscreen.
Houben's condition has since been diagnosed as a form of "locked-in syndrome," in which people are unable to speak or move but can think and reason.
"You have to imagine yourself lying in bed wanting to speak and move but unable to do so _ while in your head you are OK," Vanhaudenhuyse said. "It was extremely difficult for him and he showed a lot of anger, which is normal since he was very frustrated."
With so much to say after suffering for so long in silence, Houben has started writing a book.
"He lives from day to day," his 73-year-old mother said. "He can be funny and happy," but is also given to black humor.
Recently he went to his father's grave for the planting of a tree.
"A letter he wrote was lowered into the grave through a tube," his mother said. "He closed his eyes for half an hour, because he cannot cry."
There is little hope that Houben's physical condition will get better, but his mother said she refuses to give up: "We continue to search and search. For 26 years already."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was touched by the above article. It wasn't what happened in terms of the medical technology that i'm focusing on, but the admiration on how much his parents always believed in him. The strong belief eventually paid off. Sadly, his dad wasn't around to see that very date he could express himself, but definitely something his mum would be overjoyed about...
That's about it. Belief. How many of us hold of to a certain belief that one day, something will happen? We get easily disheartened at moments of failures that often, we do not see how we could have hold on and then stay firm.
'When you reach the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on'
How true can the above quote get? Giving up is easily..but it's always holding on that makes life more fulfilling, although it's tough.
Friday, November 20, 2009
一年就这样过了。。。
Just like that, one year has passed. So much has changed. My lifestyle, my feelings, my habits, my thinking, my mindset, my social circle, my room, my likings, my dislikes and my desktop has all changed either gradually or still in the process of changing since exactly one year ago.
Singlehood
Singlehood was hard initially. It was like a 'Welcome To The End Of The World' feeling. Besides, i've was attached for 30 months, not something i would considered short. I have fully come to terms with it, and i felt that i've moved on. Feelings fade along with time, and it certainly does. Although memories still lingers, it doesn't stay long enough for that 'once so strong feelings' to stay on. As time passes, it brings those feelings away, bit by bit, slowly and slowly, until at a certain point in time, some strong urge struck you and you felt a single, sour and aching feelingwhich makes you feel very weird. A feeling i can't explain, as though it's reminding me i lost someone whom i regard or rather, once regarded as my everything, a very part of my life. Few months back, it's like out of the sudden, when my ipod plays 'Close Your Eyes' by Westlife, i can be brought back into those memories out of the sudden and unknowingly, teary eyes follows.
Lessons Learnt
I must say how wonderful this one year has been. Firstly, this failed relationship made me learnt alot. Not only that, it made me realised things i probably never will if i remained in that relationship. I have her to thank, myself to thank and of course, all those who cared, loved and stand by me when it's considerably one of the toughest part of my life. This failed relationship taught me lots. 'Nothing come as a gift, treasure whatever you have' - I realise the harder meaning of this phrase. Never once will we human not take things for granted so we got to constantly remind ourselves. It's something so simple to be said yet extremely hard to carry it out. I learnt my faults, i learnt how i could have make things better than how it was, i learnt how much i've missed all because i wasn't sure of what i should be doing.
Love Turned Hatred
I could clearly remember how i used to blame her for everything. I just felt so unfair. I just felt so angry. I just felt totally hopeless. It felt like nearly end of the world, partly because i was so wrong, so wrong to treat her as my everything, my world. The love turned hatred was scary. Looking back, it was definitely scary, nevertheless, shocking. Someone whom you hold so dearly, someone whom you whisper speeches of sweet-nothings, someone whom you effortlessly give your love to, within a short span of time, turned into someone whom you hated and loved at the same time, turned into someone you felt out of the sudden turned into a complete stranger. I really never thought it would ever happen, and of course when it finally did, i least expect it to happen as well, but somehow, it just happened.
Just Never Want To Be
The hatred level got into a stage whereby i was so pissed at everything that i had to bear with. The pain of losing someone, the smashing of my very dream i held dearly and closely with me, the tremendous ordeal i had to endure...that affectionally earned her the title 'bitch'. Seriously, looking back, that was caused by my anger. It's like a bomb of guilt, shame and anguish has exploded into your world and the immediate reaction, afterwhich, became snowed under by despair and confusion over what actions should be taken. I never want to be the person to be in that situation in an otherwise perfectly good relationship, because that person immediately becomes the bad egg. Seriously, right now, i would rip her off that title, simply because i've moved on. Sometimes, it's so hard to see certain things when you are bearing grudges. It's so hard to look at things in another perspective. Right or wrong, it's not me to judge. But definitely, what she has done to me, isn't something i'm very proud of or happy with anyway.
Not Doing The Stupidest Thing
Initial period was so tough. If not for those people who was there for me, i wouldn't think i had the courage to even move on. I'm glad i didn't do things that would have made me regret should i have done it. The unbearable scene i've seen umpteen times, i could still recall. I nearly quitted my job. But wisely and luckily, i didn't. I hold on the that belief that if i ever do that, that would probably been one of the stupidest thing i've ever done in my entire life.
Moving On
Seriously, moving on is just a phase or rather a process. What happens after i've moved on is another part which i'm still having difficulty coping. Everything has changed so much. But thankfully, i have all the friends i loved as well as doing things i'll never be able to do should i still remain in that very relationship. Thinking back, i remember not so fondly of the suffering involved with getting over it. During this time, nothing seems to ease the pain. Life seems to be over and you just can't imagine being happy again. You can't even imagine not being miserable again. But gladly i accepted it. And probably that's who i moved on.
Happy Memories Are Meant To Be Kept
The acceptance came thankfully, fast although tough. No matter how much one wants to disassociate all those good memories, he or she can't. Same goes for me. I used to think it was those good memories which is making me harder to move on but slowly, i realise these memories are the memories which once made my life great and happy. That shouldn't be why i should forget it, instead, i'm even looking forward to creating more happy memories with people around me. Remembering the bad is even tougher but to really move on, one just got to accept it. I'm glad i did. I understand how important it is and thankfully that i am able to free myself of those unhappiness.
好马不吃回头草
Sometimes, i get questions like 'Do you still love her?' or 'If she comes back to you, will you patch back with her?'. Clearly, my answer would be no. Certain point of time early this year, my answer could have been a yes, but as time passes, it eventually turned into a no. Time to time again in between this very weird year, i reminded myself. It was so hard for me to say an indirect no to her, all because i want to be loved by her again. All good memories i had with her, stays with me throughout my whole life. However, i constantly tell myself how much i've overcome to be what i am today. It's a reminder i got to abide by, moreover, the idiom '好马不吃回头草' was so commonly mentioned by my mum and friends that it stays in my head all the time. One don't return to his nest all because it once provide him with that warmth he enjoyed so much. Now that the nest is destroyed, it's not easy to build another exact same one.
Letting Go
Letting go is probably one of the hardest thing i've ever done. It's probably one of the most painful realisation one ever has to make as well. Many thinks that holding on is what makes one stronger, but sometimes, letting go is what makes one stronger. To me, moving on doesn't equate to letting go. Moving on simply just means i've move out of that zone which has caused me so much unhappiness, however, letting go in this case to me means not holding anymore grudges, not having any feelings or hopes and sincerely wishing all the best to her. Come to think of all the emotional resources depleting just by dwelling alone, it's not worth it. It's took me only barely 2-3 months to move but took me a near to a year to really let go. Many people make pretend to understand it, but until you have gone through the transition yourself, you can never comprehend the pain one might feel.
Live With Faith
I habour the thoughts that we could be friends but things are made difficult. Let nature takes its course seems to be the only path. One story ending allows another story to takes over. I admitted how i dread singlehood initially, and seriously even till now, i'm still dreading it. It just feels so nice to love and be loved. If i can choose between the two though, i'll glady go for the former. That aside, i'm still having faith in myself, somehow, even if it's a little. That is probably what can keep me going on. Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life and letting your heart guide you alone the way like how a lantern in the dark.
Lies Persist
I'm still seeing lies on and off. It kind of numbs my nerve already. But usually now, i will just smile it off. I doubt i will be seeing any lies anymore anyway. It's seriously high time that it has to end, unfortunately, on a lower note.
Dwelling leads to More Pain
Time is too valuable in life to waste it on dwelling or harping onto the past. There are new things to be discover and of course, the courage must be there to risk it. I reckon i rather risk it rather than lose it. I always thought to myself, i've been through worse, what could have been even worse? It's not easy not to go back to what i was again. Repeatedly then, i fell back to my mistakes, and each time i do, it's a repeated painful cycle i have to go through. Thankfully, i didn't waste a huge chunk of my life. Much thanks to those who cared.
What Lies Ahead
Past one year, i shared alot, to those who cared and to those whom i care. I've been there and i know it's like. I faced so many failed relationship along the way of moving on and it made me realise how vulnerable relatonship can be. There's a quote i received from Bloms 'No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice'.
It's always better to concentrate on what you have rather than what you don't have. Ironic as it can be, i'm still trying to convince myself. It's beautiful to have that little belief in you, which i'll secretly keep it to myself. I had my fair share of friendships during this past one year, which even made me realise the importance of friendship, some close ones, some in the process of making it even better.
I remember and believe love will come around again. Whenever i look back right now, it's not those dark shadows and gloomy clouds i see, but it's those beautiful memories which once rainbow-ed my life and i definitely miss it. I'm still looking forward and someday, who knows, i'll find that 'her' again.
Singlehood
Singlehood was hard initially. It was like a 'Welcome To The End Of The World' feeling. Besides, i've was attached for 30 months, not something i would considered short. I have fully come to terms with it, and i felt that i've moved on. Feelings fade along with time, and it certainly does. Although memories still lingers, it doesn't stay long enough for that 'once so strong feelings' to stay on. As time passes, it brings those feelings away, bit by bit, slowly and slowly, until at a certain point in time, some strong urge struck you and you felt a single, sour and aching feelingwhich makes you feel very weird. A feeling i can't explain, as though it's reminding me i lost someone whom i regard or rather, once regarded as my everything, a very part of my life. Few months back, it's like out of the sudden, when my ipod plays 'Close Your Eyes' by Westlife, i can be brought back into those memories out of the sudden and unknowingly, teary eyes follows.
Lessons Learnt
I must say how wonderful this one year has been. Firstly, this failed relationship made me learnt alot. Not only that, it made me realised things i probably never will if i remained in that relationship. I have her to thank, myself to thank and of course, all those who cared, loved and stand by me when it's considerably one of the toughest part of my life. This failed relationship taught me lots. 'Nothing come as a gift, treasure whatever you have' - I realise the harder meaning of this phrase. Never once will we human not take things for granted so we got to constantly remind ourselves. It's something so simple to be said yet extremely hard to carry it out. I learnt my faults, i learnt how i could have make things better than how it was, i learnt how much i've missed all because i wasn't sure of what i should be doing.
Love Turned Hatred
I could clearly remember how i used to blame her for everything. I just felt so unfair. I just felt so angry. I just felt totally hopeless. It felt like nearly end of the world, partly because i was so wrong, so wrong to treat her as my everything, my world. The love turned hatred was scary. Looking back, it was definitely scary, nevertheless, shocking. Someone whom you hold so dearly, someone whom you whisper speeches of sweet-nothings, someone whom you effortlessly give your love to, within a short span of time, turned into someone whom you hated and loved at the same time, turned into someone you felt out of the sudden turned into a complete stranger. I really never thought it would ever happen, and of course when it finally did, i least expect it to happen as well, but somehow, it just happened.
Just Never Want To Be
The hatred level got into a stage whereby i was so pissed at everything that i had to bear with. The pain of losing someone, the smashing of my very dream i held dearly and closely with me, the tremendous ordeal i had to endure...that affectionally earned her the title 'bitch'. Seriously, looking back, that was caused by my anger. It's like a bomb of guilt, shame and anguish has exploded into your world and the immediate reaction, afterwhich, became snowed under by despair and confusion over what actions should be taken. I never want to be the person to be in that situation in an otherwise perfectly good relationship, because that person immediately becomes the bad egg. Seriously, right now, i would rip her off that title, simply because i've moved on. Sometimes, it's so hard to see certain things when you are bearing grudges. It's so hard to look at things in another perspective. Right or wrong, it's not me to judge. But definitely, what she has done to me, isn't something i'm very proud of or happy with anyway.
Not Doing The Stupidest Thing
Initial period was so tough. If not for those people who was there for me, i wouldn't think i had the courage to even move on. I'm glad i didn't do things that would have made me regret should i have done it. The unbearable scene i've seen umpteen times, i could still recall. I nearly quitted my job. But wisely and luckily, i didn't. I hold on the that belief that if i ever do that, that would probably been one of the stupidest thing i've ever done in my entire life.
Moving On
Seriously, moving on is just a phase or rather a process. What happens after i've moved on is another part which i'm still having difficulty coping. Everything has changed so much. But thankfully, i have all the friends i loved as well as doing things i'll never be able to do should i still remain in that very relationship. Thinking back, i remember not so fondly of the suffering involved with getting over it. During this time, nothing seems to ease the pain. Life seems to be over and you just can't imagine being happy again. You can't even imagine not being miserable again. But gladly i accepted it. And probably that's who i moved on.
Happy Memories Are Meant To Be Kept
The acceptance came thankfully, fast although tough. No matter how much one wants to disassociate all those good memories, he or she can't. Same goes for me. I used to think it was those good memories which is making me harder to move on but slowly, i realise these memories are the memories which once made my life great and happy. That shouldn't be why i should forget it, instead, i'm even looking forward to creating more happy memories with people around me. Remembering the bad is even tougher but to really move on, one just got to accept it. I'm glad i did. I understand how important it is and thankfully that i am able to free myself of those unhappiness.
好马不吃回头草
Sometimes, i get questions like 'Do you still love her?' or 'If she comes back to you, will you patch back with her?'. Clearly, my answer would be no. Certain point of time early this year, my answer could have been a yes, but as time passes, it eventually turned into a no. Time to time again in between this very weird year, i reminded myself. It was so hard for me to say an indirect no to her, all because i want to be loved by her again. All good memories i had with her, stays with me throughout my whole life. However, i constantly tell myself how much i've overcome to be what i am today. It's a reminder i got to abide by, moreover, the idiom '好马不吃回头草' was so commonly mentioned by my mum and friends that it stays in my head all the time. One don't return to his nest all because it once provide him with that warmth he enjoyed so much. Now that the nest is destroyed, it's not easy to build another exact same one.
Letting Go
Letting go is probably one of the hardest thing i've ever done. It's probably one of the most painful realisation one ever has to make as well. Many thinks that holding on is what makes one stronger, but sometimes, letting go is what makes one stronger. To me, moving on doesn't equate to letting go. Moving on simply just means i've move out of that zone which has caused me so much unhappiness, however, letting go in this case to me means not holding anymore grudges, not having any feelings or hopes and sincerely wishing all the best to her. Come to think of all the emotional resources depleting just by dwelling alone, it's not worth it. It's took me only barely 2-3 months to move but took me a near to a year to really let go. Many people make pretend to understand it, but until you have gone through the transition yourself, you can never comprehend the pain one might feel.
Live With Faith
I habour the thoughts that we could be friends but things are made difficult. Let nature takes its course seems to be the only path. One story ending allows another story to takes over. I admitted how i dread singlehood initially, and seriously even till now, i'm still dreading it. It just feels so nice to love and be loved. If i can choose between the two though, i'll glady go for the former. That aside, i'm still having faith in myself, somehow, even if it's a little. That is probably what can keep me going on. Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life and letting your heart guide you alone the way like how a lantern in the dark.
Lies Persist
I'm still seeing lies on and off. It kind of numbs my nerve already. But usually now, i will just smile it off. I doubt i will be seeing any lies anymore anyway. It's seriously high time that it has to end, unfortunately, on a lower note.
Dwelling leads to More Pain
Time is too valuable in life to waste it on dwelling or harping onto the past. There are new things to be discover and of course, the courage must be there to risk it. I reckon i rather risk it rather than lose it. I always thought to myself, i've been through worse, what could have been even worse? It's not easy not to go back to what i was again. Repeatedly then, i fell back to my mistakes, and each time i do, it's a repeated painful cycle i have to go through. Thankfully, i didn't waste a huge chunk of my life. Much thanks to those who cared.
What Lies Ahead
Past one year, i shared alot, to those who cared and to those whom i care. I've been there and i know it's like. I faced so many failed relationship along the way of moving on and it made me realise how vulnerable relatonship can be. There's a quote i received from Bloms 'No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice'.
It's always better to concentrate on what you have rather than what you don't have. Ironic as it can be, i'm still trying to convince myself. It's beautiful to have that little belief in you, which i'll secretly keep it to myself. I had my fair share of friendships during this past one year, which even made me realise the importance of friendship, some close ones, some in the process of making it even better.
I remember and believe love will come around again. Whenever i look back right now, it's not those dark shadows and gloomy clouds i see, but it's those beautiful memories which once rainbow-ed my life and i definitely miss it. I'm still looking forward and someday, who knows, i'll find that 'her' again.
