Boss or Dross?

Being in the working world for near 9 years accumulatively, I won’t say I’m very experienced but definitely, I know what it is like working. Looking at the intern just sitting behind me at work, as he is, being just a 19 year old boy, it wasn’t hard to feel how far I’ve come. I was taken aback when he told me being an intern in UOB Travel was the first time he actually worked. But the shock was dismissed as soon as I realize the reason behind it – he grew with a golden spoon.

Counting off hand, I have worked in at least 8 different jobs, with differing environments, I can safely say, I’ve seen most, in the aspect of how a boss/superior can behave, should behave and have behaved. I’ve definitely seen the worst (until someone else told me of their shit story back at work) and too, the best to me as well. To me, bosses are there to assist, empower his or her employees and getting involved in literally everything that is being done under his or her care. That way, respect is garnered, trust is built and naturally, the team will work in its utmost effectiveness.

Based on my experience, I would love to share some of the worst bosses I’ve ever seen, where I could really pin point their common ‘rubbish’ and of course, some of the best I’ve worked with. Based on my definition of boss, the worst one is definitely way off course to that, especially the one I am working for and under right now. All I see from this one is nothing but ‘blow cow (吹牛)’. A boss needs to give proper direction and follow it, but instead, this boss did the former but twist the latter. What’s the point of getting someone to do what you want when you are even unsure of it. Secondly, I’ve not seen a boss who behaves so pathetically. This boss of mine does and only DOES things that interest him. It’s like ‘I choose work to do as and when I want, not work choose me as and when it wants’. Oh crap. Imagine there are 10 responsibilities falling under your job scope, but because you prefer 2 out of the 10, you simply push the other 8 conveniently to your employees, who indeed feel empowered but ‘headless’ without direction. From this, I’ve seen the irresponsible side of him which utterly disgusted me. To me, a good boss praise when a job or task is done well, and correct when an error or mistake is made. It’s worse if a boss just pin point your mistakes and not praise you for your work well done, but it’s even WORSE when a boss doesn’t even bother to correct you. He even spit it right out from his mouth that he DOESN'T see or read what we did or sent him because it simply means nothing to him. Oh great! I foresee myself deteriorating under him, definitely.

To me, working is not just working. It's learning, gaining experience and exposure so as to better contribute to the company to get job satisfaction in return as well as self-grooming, bringing up your own value so as to move on with a better career prospects. But that is totally impossible if you find yourself stuck in a rut under one useless boss who, whole day does nothing but trying his luck on his 'experiments' in hope of success and there I am, one of the guinea pigs.

But then again, I always put myself in perspectives. Like many said, 做的好就留，做不好就走. I rather have myself seeking better opportunities than stuck in that rut. But on the contrary, I have been really fortunate enough to have work under good Boss.

Back in my army days, there is this superior, as much as her rank is many tiers higher than mine, she doesn't make you feel like she's your boss. Instead, she makes you feel you have to appreciate her every intention and instruction, making you feel WANT TO work harder not only for her, but myself too.

Until now, I cannot forget her motherly care as a boss, the patience she rendered while guiding me effortlessly and not forgetting her willingness to acknowledge mistakes and let me learn in my own way and my own pace.

Perhaps, it could be because she's a female boss. But in any case, our harsh and fast working society needs good boss. Bosses who really leads, guides and motivates, not for the better of the staff but more so for themselves and the company. Afterall, a sense of belonging and bond is what keeps employees and employers alike going. No one is superior in fact than another, one should act as though we can't do without anyone at all, that way, probably, working can be a wonderful joy

Injury

My knee's injured for more than a month now. I just wish I could recover as soon as possible so that I can really start to burn my fats away/off. I badly need to do so, if not, I can foresee one additional Buddha at home.

How now brown cow?!?!?

Happy 'Meng Kwek' Festival

Happy Mid Autumn Festival to all my friends. The subject might struck a question mark on you. So allow me to let the cat out of the bag. I was shopping for Mooncakes with the girl one day and I have no idea why I said 'Meng Kwek' instead of mooncake and there you go, the girl keep on 'suaning' me, non stop of course (it's not as though she gets alot of chance to do so).

Nice enough, I went to re-structure my knowledge on this particular festival and found out various adaptation. But in any case, this festival isn’t just about Mooncakes and lanterns, but also the jade rabbit (which I came to understand its existence only recently). Till today, it wasn’t a festival that my family celebrated but rather we appreciated it. Since young (only when we are young), my dad would open the entrance door wide, so we would stayed up till slightly later and watch the moon.

Traditionally, MR also has the tradition of playing lanterns (or playing with fire by two arsonists) but as age and time gradually passed, this tradition no longer exist too. Last year was my first Mid Autumn Festival with the girl. I have no idea why, although we did not deliberately celebrate, my fond memories of those photo-taking along the river of Clarke Quay cast a great impression on me.

Perhaps, if Mid-Autumn Festival is a Public Holiday like what they had back in Taiwan, there will be more people appreciating this festival, gathering with loved ones, eating mooncakes, playing lantern and appreciating the beautiful full moon while remembering the story of Chang Er.

The Time Has Come

Now that the busy period is gone, I’ve finally put myself back to the crossroads, one where I was 5 months ago. This busy period made me learnt a lot, at the same time, it make me realize the unfeeling nature of people as well. I don’t deny the steep learning curve was tough, but I’m glad I made it, with much hindrance and difficulties. The nature of the job was demanding, it’s not the work that is tough, but more often than not, it’s the dealing with people that is tough. And just when you are trying to get your work done, you get people who doesn’t put themselves in your shoes and going around barking and interfering, which gets really annoying at times. Nevertheless, being where I am, I’ve pretty much learnt all that is required of me, afterall, NATAS is the only big thing of my current job, other than that, it’s repetitive.

The fact that the Human Resource back in the headquarters overpromising has led to the disappointment of many. To be frank, those accolades and awards given to them, are a vast difference and opposite of what are they capable (or rather incapable) of doing. The way they work, the way the function, doesn’t seems to tally with their objective, which of course, led to high turnovers, as always. Perhaps if this aspect is better, I would have give this position another positive go, but time has come for me to realize that, the clock ticks even though you’re unhappy. I have to move on, for the sake of myself and future.

Being where I am now, doesn’t equip me with sufficient skills and knowledge, especially not when I have very limited exposure. Imagine this – I’m my own manager, I’m my own employee and I’m my own middleman. How to learn this way?!??! The only time you know you’re wrong is when someone spotted the mistakes. The only time you know you’re right is when no one complains about anything (which doesn’t necessary equates to you being correct at all as well). Given this limitation, and the vast potential of the outside world, I’ve come to terms with myself to move on from here. 3 years++ in this company is not short, I’m glad to have been able to partake two roles operationally – being at the counter as a sales consultant with great colleagues and being back at the backroom doing marketing with boring and difficult people. I’m glad to have known and work with two different groups of people. Afterall, in this real world, you get to see all sorts of people. I won’t consider UOB Travel a fantastic company, but the culture here is different being outside at the frontline versus being on the backroom at the support stand.

My stint here is definitely memorable and fun-filled, despite the turmoil I’ve faced in recent weeks as well as during the beginning of it. Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the chances I get to travel and see the world (which I doubt I’ll have the chance to do so ever again), travelling to so many countries which is definitely the envy of others. Of course, not forgetting the great job satisfaction that I’ve gotten and this job here definitely helped carve out my direction as to what I want to do from now. As mentioned to many before, UOB Travel is just a stepping stone to me, and probably, I feel that it’s high time I step out of here, learn more and expose myself to more opportunities elsewhere.

Girl's '18th' Birthday Celebration

It was a plan not meant. The entire idea to celebrate the girl’s 25th birthday was a different one to the end result. Nevertheless, it’s definitely one of the most memorable moments I had in my life, so memorable, it sucked me back to my own 25th celebration with the girl. I felt as though it was my very own birthday. In fact, the entire planning and celebration was a risk – a risk that would not be as surprising as I expected it to be.


I started off merely with a facebook page and nothing more. Each time updating in little by little, yet expecting her to check back to the page every Monday as I’ll revealed more. The whole “Macau Fishball” was even a nastier hoax. She got tricked of course. Never did I expect myself to be SO tight-lipped this time round. Seriously, not even a hardware tool could pry over that tight lips of mine.

Image planning a celebration as early as 3 months prior, it sure is no easy feat. However, as I strongly believe, it really takes efforts to express and show, even deep down inside, we know how the other half is feeling. Afterall, actions speaks louder than words. The sweet bouquet kickstarted everything. The ordering of them is as easy as 1,2,3. The executing it is the difficult part. I had to fake a tummy upset in order to deliver a surprise. Trust me, the best way to surprise someone is to caught that person off guard and suddenly spring an unexpected surprise.

I’m rather impressed with my “Macau Fishball”. Throughout the entire next day, her mind must be hovering around those two words. All I did was to get her to follow me as I uncover more along the way. Brought her to brunch first to satisfy her liking for eggs. Where else but Epicurious to help me do the job. My simple phrase of “you’ve eaten before but you’ve not been here before” puzzled here. For a simple reason of Epicurious having two outlets, one of which we went before and she’s aware while the one I’m leading her to in the very first surprise of the day. There, I present to her the very first present. After several guesses, she failed. The trick is, remembering what she has said, even if it’s something she said 1 year ago, because you never know when it might come in handy. And for me, it came at the perfect moment. Trust me, that expression gave her away. She totally did not expect that present and there I thought, I DID IT.

After that, I continued getting her to followed me, eventually making our way to Sentosa. Blame it on 963 who gave this part a boohoo. But nevertheless, the weapon is still hidden. Pushing her aside at the sales counter, I produce a confirmation letter to obtain the complimentary tickets to Sentosa, just so she has entirely no idea what am I up to. Indeed, she remains easy to be tricked that day. We got off and I brought her to Amara Saunctuary Resort. She was told that we’re going there for Hi-Tea. Pretending to lost my way, I make my way to the reception and kept her waiting at bay. In actual fact, I was panicky sorting the confirmation letter and there I went producing it to the receptionist without her knowledge. Deep in my mind, I am still pondering how to present this surprise to her in the best way possible. Thankfully, it’s in my blood, that’s why she called me her Doraemon. As she closed in on me, she was mentioning having our future wedding here. I replied how would she know it’s a nice place to wed without knowing how nice the rooms. And there I went, presenting the card key to her. OMG! Her expression is priceless. She gave me the most shocking look I’ve ever seen from her before. Of course, smiles follow suit and I knew, she will be a happy girl today.

Throughout the rest of the day, we spent it lazing around Sentosa like tourists and make use of the facilities of the hotel. Unfortunately, my request for the staff to come up with a special décor of the room was discovered by her. Nevertheless, I’m sure it’s a pleasant discovery. My mission there and then is to make sure she thinks I have nothing else up my sleeves. Somehow, I think I achieved that.

We went Seafood Paradise for dinner and trust us, we found one of the best Chinese restaurant in Singapore. Their seafood soup impressed us most. Of course, not forgetting the freshness of the seafood, tastefully use of the ingredients and the sweetness of the desserts. It just aids me in making the day even better as the day goes on. Just like that, we indulge in the comfort of the luxurious room and caught our favourite shows.

DING DONG! Timecheck, it was 11.45pm. The cake I ordered arrives without her knowledge. Unfortunately, she somehow guessed it would happened. But, still a nice and sweet way to wish her a very happy birthday. Of course, just before the clock strikes 12, I sent her a sms. In the sms, I ordered her to use the last application (QR Reader) to decode the last photo in her mobile phone (I sent that photo to her without her knowledge) and in there lies a message to wish her a very happy birthday.

Of course, what a better way to wake up with breakfast for bed and I’m pretty sure it’s definitely one of the happiest day of my life and for her as well. Indeed, it’s not a easy task to plan and execute a celebration like that but I believe I need to because after that, the word birthday always comes with the word happy, and I know, I achieved that.

To you: Happy ‘18’th Birthday to you. May you continue to be as pretty, sweet and wonderful as you are now and be happy always.

The Rainbow After Nightmares

Near two months into my job, I am indeed starting to get the hang of it, though the main bulk remains a short distance away. Being a marketer in UOB Travel, NATAS is seemed as a real test. Everyone in the company said, “You go through NATAS, you can handle everything”. As such, I can actually feel the pressure as NATAS starts drawing closer. Like each and every event I’ve known, the ‘behind the scene’ behind these events were never an easy job. It’s like a ‘台上十分钟, 台下十年工’ thing. You prepare months in advance, just waiting for that 3 days to be smooth sailing and over. Needless to say, the fruit of the seed is what I’m working towards, but the planting of the seed, growing of it through sweat and ‘blood’ is what I have to go through. Given the same ‘me’ few years ago, I would dread it happening. But the ‘me’ now is entirely different, I look forward to the stuff I get to learn, look forward to meeting more people along the course of this rough road.

I like what I’m exposed to and am actually happy to know what I’m in for. Never mind those possible sleepless nights, hectic days and what-nots. Doing what I’m doing now is never what I thought I will be doing when I’m young. Yet, this pursuance of this industry I called it, made me feel that the word ‘impossible’ is really never impossible. In where I am, I encounter lots of first times. My first time doing advertising, in print, online and even on radio. More interestingly, I’m even exposed to below the line advertising such as ATMs screens, SMS, mailers etc. Just take ATMs for example, it used to be just a plain machine where I draw my cash, something I wouldn’t want to visit so often (each time I visit, money is gone). But now, after learning what a ATM can actually do, from drawing cash, offering advertising at its most customized way, through the interactive screens we always see at the top of a ATM, I found myself in a amazed state. I was amazed to what marketing can do to people through even the most unexpected ways.

What’s a better learning tool than someone who is so experienced in the field itself. Meeting different people make me feel more absorbed in my work, allowing ideas to flow endlessly. I am not supposed to have my brain stuck in a jam, instead, given the environment, I am considered the soul of the department. I like how I am not restricted to a chair, a computer and a desk and off you work. I like how I can influence and be influenced by people in the most creative ways and learn through the craziest ideas I’ve ever encounter. I like how meetings can be so bombastic and insane that at the end of it, I turned inspired.

With NATAS just weeks ago, my role this time round is an entirely different side of the coin as compared to the previous ones. I left my shell of being the top sales person with a high job satisfaction to being a totally newbie in what I’m tasked for. This event means the world to me. It’s like my baby. Imagine you single-handedly plan for this event, with absolute no assistance. From booth design, to booth layout, to advertising, to co-ordination etc. I must say I look forward to my nightmares because I know after these nightmares lies a rainbow so colourful that I’ve been waiting for. =)

Club Med Phuket

Blame it on Club Med Bali for not having a very wonderful first impression of Club Med Phuket. Oh well. Nonetheless, it didn’t fall short much from our expectation as we progressively realize this short getaway was a much needed one, much due to the fact that we know we had been and will be piled up with work. Let’s start off with my clever ‘strategy’ of making full use of Club Med NATAS offer of offering Adult 1-1 promotion. Bought the land package (without the air ticket) and book budget air tickets (with only one check in luggage) ourselves, in the end, it was a great deal. For your information (benefit of my readers), NATAS is having a 2nd Adults stay free again promotion this coming August, therefore, find out more from me if you’re interested.

My first time taking Air Asia. I must say I was actually looking forward to it because other than the shitty Tiger Airways, no other budget airline can be worse, as so I thought. Indeed, it exceeded my expectations. The procedures, the web check in, the stewardess, the menu, the seats, the food, the in flight shopping and last but not least, the experience. All in all, Air Asia became my favourite and most preferred budget airline in one instance of travel one way with them. Definitely a feat for them, and a budget airline that I would recommend it to all my friends.

But in any case, we hoped and prayed for good weather. It turned out God opposed us. DAMN!!! We were greeted silently. It was an unexpected type of reception we received as compared to back in Club Med Bali. It informed us that we had to lower our expectation for the days to come for sure. Imagine a bad weather topped with a cold reception, we thought it’s near over until the room arrives. Comfy bed with a rather nice room with lots of space. So much space, we turned the sofa bed into our ‘wardrobe/cupboard/hanger’. Its toilet, as compact as usual with their usual fragrant shampoo and body wash. We wasted no time in getting our stomachs filled and oh well, the food was rather disappointing, except for the nuggets. It turned out to be a further let down when we realize supper wasn’t available in the resort, and there’s only one restaurant serving all three meals unlike the two restaurants we dined back in Club Med Bali (alright, I know I shouldn’t compare). Rained continued mercilessly. We simply rest and relax in our cosy new ‘home’ before dining dinner and enjoyed their show. Of course, who could have missed the bar. With all inclusive as their main highlight, we spared nothing. It’s only a pity we could no longer drink as well as our hey-days.

Rain continued to greet us early in the morning. Even thought we REMEMEBERED to bring our sports shoes this time round (finally something worth mentioning in comparison with Club Med Bali when we forgotten to bring track shoes), the weather did not support us. Rubbish indeed. The entire day, the rain turned into showers and coming on and off. Nevertheless, we decided to make full use of our time and money – swimming and gym. This may sound common to most but trust me when I said it feels as though I lost 30 kg out of them. That will show you how ‘often’ I exercise.

What we looked forward most is the next day where we head out to play. Patong! Shit the rain of course. We managed to get ourselves a transfer (100 baht cheaper) and head to Patong. We departed earlier than agreed previously because the girl can’t wait to shop. Oh, you know, GIRLS! Jungceylon – she makes me feel that’s a shopping paradise. In the end, it’s the supermarket that we shopped the most. We almost squeezed burst my backpack and yet, we still had to carry three big bags of tidbits. What to do what you have a shopping queen as a girlfriend. I have resigned to my lovely fate long ago, which is why I’m loving it.
Let’s Relax Spa was next. Our nightmare arrived while we’re happy dining in Swensens happy. RAIN AGAIN! Trust me, I hate walking in the rain in flip flops. Imagine getting dirty, sandy, yucky water seeped into your flip flop, polluting that ‘supposed to smell nice’ foot. Oh my. That few minutes of walk felt like years to me. My cursing and swearing finally came to a stop upon reaching the spa. Inside, tranquility filled the atmosphere which kind of soothes my previous angst emotions. Trust me, the next time I hit Thailand again, I will visit Let’s Relax. Their treatments are so heavenly that it entirely re-energized me, except for the facial one which to me, is kind of a waste of money.

We had for some seafood. Walking down along Patong Beach invites recollections when we both were in the exact same route separately years back. Coincidentally, we went to the exact same shop we dined the last time we visited Phuket. We ordered like a total of 6 dishes. It was awesome, except for the dishes she ordered (=p), somehow. LOL. We continued to explore the route and it wasn’t long before we got boring and brought some supper back ‘home’ in our ‘mission’ to get fat!


It was snorkeling the next day. We managed to get our lazy bums out of the bed and signed up for the snorkeling lessons. I am very sorry for perhaps, spoiling my girl’s trip but I simply can’t stand having those rude and couth Chinese in the group. Each time they speak, I feel like slapping or punching them. Grrr!! Nonetheless, our first snorkeling trip together and it was fun. They brought us to Chalong Bay where we took a ferry out to a nearby island, probably 40 minutes away. We snorkeling for approximately 40 minutes and it was definitely not enough. However, the total experience of snorkeling with the girl was a very fun and memorable one.

By the time we headed back, it was noon and we finally played some sports, many sports of course and just in case you thought we’re very fit, no, you are wrong. We played Tennis, Basketball, Golf and Soccer. Each not lasting more than 15 minutes. LOL. Yes, our ‘mission’ is to get fat, so what do you expect. The entire experience was brought to an end just like that. Like they always say, time flies when you are enjoying, and I cannot help but agree with it totally. The night shows with the funny music and sounds like ‘Push! Push!’ and ‘In Phuket!! In Phuket!!’, that definitely got the girl laughing. Plus the cute little young ones from Mini Club, oh how we love this place actually, plus the nightly slacking and watching of Nat Geo, awesome. Now that we’re back to reality, we really dread because we really done nothing but enjoyed the entire Club Med Phuket totally. Till our next holiday…..

Guide to a Better Life

Chanced upon this through an email sent to me. Found it rather meaningful with huge depth of truth.

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
23. Do the right things
24. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
25. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
26. The best is yet to come
27. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

You Don't Please Anyone

As the title suggest, it applies especially more so in work context. However, generally in life, we got to acknowledge and if possible, embrace that fact. We got to really understand that not only we don’t please just about anyone and everyone, the fact is, we CAN’T. How many times in your life do you feel bad about not being able to do your best to please that someone you want to? How many times in your life do you feel you’re being sandwiched in between people and no one seems to understand? How many times in your life do you get misunderstood over things you did or did not? Countless I supposed.

The fact is we can’t please everyone. A simple analogy is that, no matter how nicely and wonderfully tasteful dish is cooked with high amount of good reviews, there bound to be someone who dislikes it. To each its own – how people have different preferences, perception, interpretation over so many things in life, be it major or minor. Frankly speaking, we live for our own, we fend ourselves and so we really got to open our eyes big enough to know and see what’s best for ourselves. I can confidently tell you when you’re out there slogging out guts off to earn that mere sum, ultimately, it’s your own rice bowl you have to look after. Don’t ever expect people to shield your rice bowl in times of desperation.

I stood to my belief of this particular quote I find it very meaningful – those who matter won’t mind, those who mind don’t matter. Those who really understand you won’t land you into such awkward situation. I’m blessed with which nice people whom do put themselves before me which makes me feel lucky, yet at the same time, I’m cursed with people who conveniently put their self interest before your kindest intentions, which is how I always remind myself not to commit the same mistake.

At work, it’s a war zone. It feels like ‘infernal affairs’ to me. You never know who your friend is and who your foe is. The reality comes about in times of desperation. The thing is, people tend to show their very true colors in tough and hard times. When the good times are there, everyone seems to be your friend, laughing and working happily with you. When the bad times arrives, that is when you see people pushing the blame here and there, shoving responsibility like never before where the ugly sides of people start appearing on themselves. However, having said that, it’s is naturally important we acknowledge that we can’t please just about everyone. If I were to take in all the unhappiness caused just by the fact that someone is not pleased with me, I’ll probably be burst into a whole new world of horrifying negativity. Sometimes, it’s not what we do that people are unhappy about, it’s what we do that cannot be perceived rightly to them. What may be a sweet round orange may be seen as a spiky and ugly durian. If simple words that were meant to be a joke can end a friendship abruptly, it tells and shows a lot about that friendship. If your work got criticized when it was awfully done and yet when the work was wonderfully done, you hear no praises at all, that tells you a lot about your boss.

What’s essentially more and most important to me is that taking things at my own stride which has definitely helped me in dealing with daily affairs. You lose some, you gain some. You learn through mistake and grow through achievements. As a special analogy goes, imagine your life as a theater with exclusive front row seats which offers the best view to the show. Nobody can possibly fit everyone in your life in that front row seats, you bound to make some happy, make some angry, make some jealous and make some sad. It’s all about whom you invite to the front row seats. Do you?

Getting Married: More Than It Seems

Many might think of it as too soon, but come to really sit down and put your minds together and do your math, there’s actually isn’t much time anyway. An average couple spent approx 1-2 years saving for marriage, that’s provided if the both of them has been saving a decent amount monthly and not living a ‘there’s no rainy days’ kind of life. It’s only both me and the girl sat down and we had a chat that last several hours only then we realize getting married is not as easy and simple as its seems.

Living in where we are now, the increase living cost of Singapore with competition for almost everything all around, housing included, it has naturally been a culture for couples to get a flat together first before even getting married. Weird and no sense at all, but oh well, that’s the thing in Singapore. There is NO CHOICE, alright, perhaps the better and more appropriate word would be not much choice. Imagine the numbers of things involved simply in just getting married, not even to mention what’s going to come right after that which is marriage. To be frank, since young, I dream of getting married. From a naïve thinking of ‘I love you, you love me, let’s get married’ to how I start to see a clearer and more realistic picture of getting married isn’t just about love, it consist of a whole lot of components never heard or seen before, not forgetting the culture and tradition we Chinese have to stick to. And after that mere few hours chat, my mindset changed. Somehow, looking at those figures involved and the processes of it, it kind of harshly impacted me. I feel like everything is so troublesome and it’s so costly to get married, so much so that I’m not looking forward to it as much as before, not that I do not want to get married, it’s just that the figures and processes involved were overwhelming. Nevertheless, it remained my sweet little wish and dream of mine, to be married to the love of my life.

Imagine the efforts and numbers involved – getting a flat, proposal, buying proposal ring, choosing wedding bands, photo shoot, honeymoon, wedding dinner, ROM, trying your bridal suits and gowns etc. So much work involved. No wonder there’s a job known as wedding planner. But I reckon these are what make it memorable. I often heard, bickering and arguments are common among couples while they are preparing for their marriage, but that is in fact really part and parcel of life. Like what I’ve mentioned previously, the waiting time for a flat you called your own, there’s so much to do. Applying for a flat is in fact the very first thing the couple do together towards their marriage, even with uncertainty up ahead. But once again, that’s the way things works now in Singapore.

Money is the largest concern of them all. Wedding dinner alone can cost you approx $30 to $40k, of course, not including the red packets that you will be getting back. However, after doing our maths, we realize, the harshest killer turns out to be the HDB flat you applied few years back. Imagine getting a flat with nothing on or in it. Getting renovation done to your flat is like injecting drugs into your blood. It can kill you. No wonder interior design firms and revonators are coming out with special packages to ‘lure’ couples in and even banks are here to make your day ‘better or worse’ (you decide) by coming out with renovation loans. When banks come out with loans, it means it is generally beyond the capability of many to afford. Aircon costing $3k, bed costing $1k, flooring costing a five digit figure etc, the list goes on. It’s nothing but money. Government has been ‘pushing’ people to find love, get married and bear kids, but with such a high expense living, who would have dared.

Having said the above, I believed everything that has been put in place has its reason. To either lighten the burden of the couple, or to make it memorable for the couple. Many think of it as unnecessary. For example, I’ve heard of some people who bought proposal ring that are deliberately bought cheap because they think it’s only worn ONCE, what for do they need to get a proposal ring that can even be a downpayment for a brand new car. There’s even people who wants to do away with wedding dinners because that’s simply a whole lot of chores from food tasting to choose your guest list to rushing here and ensuring your guests are hosted well. But I personally believe it is an once in a lifetime event and either we make it worthwhile and memorable, going through the happiness, troubles, spending painstakingly earned money and the entire process or we don’t do it at all. For that, I definitely look forward to my dream come true…

Universal Studios Singapore, Finally...

It was a rather last minute plan. Previously, there’s tons of reason why we didn’t visit Universal Studios Singapore – the closure of the highlight roller-coaster, the expensively deemed not value for money admission ticket etc. The good thing is, we got the tickets cheap. Real cheap, in fact, it was around half of the usual price. At $30, we happily look forward to this very day.

Unfortunately, the bad thing is the weather. Despite us praying for good weather one week before continuously for several days thereafter, our prayers went unheard. Drizzling rain welcomed the girl’s sleep. Even the girl was so excited that she woke up earlier than agreed to keep check of the weather. It turned out to be a rather disappointment for her.

Nevertheless, we went ahead, praying that this drizzling rain will not evolved into a huge thunderstorm with heavy rain. As if the humid weather caused by the rain under the sunny skies wasn’t turned off enough, we had to brave the hot weather getting wet. The bus, with a ‘R’ (goes straight to Resorts World Sentosa) took quite some time to arrive. Our day definitely did not start well, as much as we wanted it to.

Smooth-sailing as the day passed. Rain stopped, however, dark skies still looms. We ignore the uncertainty and off we go to have our breakfast (everyone needs to replenish before play isn’t it?). It’s only then I realized F&B in RWS is really expensive. I’m trying to compare a mere Toastbox in RWS against the one in neighborhood. Oh well, I should have guess just as much I supposed. By the time we entered into Universal Studios, it was raining again. By then, it’s too late to turn back. We just have to move on. The opening of Madagascar gave us ONE more reason to continue on. And so, we made that our first stop.

Crate Adventure. Our first ride of the day. 70 minutes wait, the first we encountered. Heard that it is the longest we have to queue therefore, it’s quite a relief that eventually it did not took us that long to enjoy our first ride. Nothing much on the first ride. Photo-taking was difficult because of the moving “crates” plus the lack of brightness. However, it did helped kickstart the entire playtime that day. Coincidentally, we chanced upon ZhiQin through Facebook and learnt that both him and Jia Jia is in USS too. We met them for a stunt show later in the day – Underwater World.


It’s quite lame how the ‘stuntman’ gets everything started – by pouring and shooting water through their water-tubes on those who is on the Blue Zone, harshly known as the WET zone. We sitting at the Green Zone, gently known as splash zone didn’t even get ourselves dripped throughout the entire show. Nevertheless, certain scenes of this show were quite an eye-opener to me. By then, the damn headache has already hit my head. Perhaps the ride before which is Revenge of the Mummy, worsened it. The throbbing of the head was heartlessly caused by the stupid weather prior to this anticipated outing. ANGRY! Speaking of Revenge of the Mummy, it’s probably one of our favorite. Imagine a roller-coaster in a dark, not knowing when it’s going to move forward or backward, up or down, with the addition of the visual and audio effect, it definitely add points to the satisfaction. Not forgetting the shortest queue for such exciting ride – a mere 5 minutes. Oh man, I only regret not sitting it twice.

We split way with the other lovebirds and went for our ultimate challenge after visiting the Lost World. We got turned off by the longest queue of 2 hours for the Rapids which WILL get ourselves drenched. We couldn’t figured out where was Cylon and off we went to Human (Battleship Galatica was divided into two, Human and Cylon). The 70 minute wait was not long, considering the amount of anxiety the girl was facing. When it is our turn, we were all ready, or at least, we APPEAR ready. Off her slippers and on our butts onto the seats, we were all ready to kill the ‘Cylons’. The uncertainty was what makes everything thrilling. The highest 14th floor drop at 80++ km/hr was totally breathtaking. It literally took away my soul for a moment. The entire ride, I reckon, lasted less than 5 minutes. I never failed to be thrilled by such rides.

Due to time constraints, we did not go on and try anymore ride. The queues there are definitely time killer. That’s not the main turning off point. What’s worse it I felt as though the whole India is in USS. I can literally see Indians everywhere I go, from rides to queue, from F&B outlets to toilets. Oh gosh, never mind, I shan’t continue before I turned even more racist. Instead, we turned to food. The girl had her large slice of pizza while I had my honey chicken wings. Not bad from a hungry yet ‘having headache’ person point of view, those food feels like medicine. Hollywood street, though simple, looks hell lot of fun. Photo snapping all around of building, with characters such as Joker, Betty Boop etc before we finally got ourselves into Light Camera Action! A show created by Steven Spielberg which spells out how visual and audio visual can turn a something so simple and tangible into an awesome masterpiece that we see on the screens.
Again, we met up with the other two lovebirds and off we went for dinner at Resorts World Sentosa, only to return for the fireworks back in USS again. Dinner @ Mulligans was a normal fare. Nothing much to be expected from the so called Irish cuisine. What’s next was more interesting. The fireworks somewhat differs from the usual ones I see elsewhere in MBS or RWS. A short few minutes of fireworks to conclude the night before we had our slow stroll back to the Carpark where ZhiQin parked the car.

I must say, weather did us proud ultimately, though not at the start and it was a day well spent. It’s been quite some time since we both last had such a wonderful full day date together (Singapore is BORING, so what do you expect). Would go back there again the next time to try the “Cylon” as well as the Rapids Adventure in The Lost World. Till then…

Touch with the Right Language

The journey of love comes with its ups and downs. There are moments when a relationship can feel like it has reached its brink or plateau. It could be that you and your date are simply unaware of each other's primary love language - expressions which we interpret as love and which could fill our individual "love tank".

Physical Touch
One of the most tell-tale signs that two people have decided to take their relationship seriously is when he holds her band. Doting and caring for each other in a physical way sends loving impulses to our brains, it tells us: you are loved.

For example a guy named Winston, discovered his love language is Physical Touch when he got to know Angel. He grew up with a passion for dancing. When he met Angel at a Lindy Hop dance class, the two clicked right away.

Maybe this is because, like Winston, Angel shares the same love language. Angel, in her 20s, works in the legal service and has a hectic schedule, but there's nothing more she looks forward to than meeting Winston at the end of the work week. "At the end of a long hard work week, what I need most is someone's shoulder to lie on and chat the night away. When Winston gives me a good rub on my shoulders, it makes me feel loved."

In another example, Jeremy and Lynn have known each other since university days. They still remember the day their mutual relationship took a step further to the next orbit - Jeremy had complained to Lynn of a neck pain he was suffering from, having worked out too much in the gym. Lynn, instinctively reached out to him and gave his neck a gentle rub while looking into his eyes. Without saying a word, she had effectively communicated to him, "I Love You".

She says:" I guess I've grown fond of Jeremy over the years and wanted to go further than being just friends. It was something that came quite naturally because I care for him, and touching someone brings you closer together."

Show You Care
Daniel, in his 40s, knows that his girlfriend values the physical "touch and hugs". Whenever he returns from his fortnightly overseas trip, he makes it a point to give Julie a big bear hug, a loving touch on the nose and two big kisses on her cheeks.

"It has become almost a routine, we will always walk hand in hand across the carpark and when we get into the car, I will give her another kiss."

If your partner's love language is Physical Touch, don't say "hello" without a peck on the cheek and don't say "goodby" without a sweet goodnight kiss. Hold his or her hand more often, and give each other loving touches when least expected.

Death Tourism

Being in Tourism Studies for years, though not a lot, I have how tourism comes in numerous form. You name it – Wine Tourism, Gourmet Tourism, Eco-Tourism, Space Tourism, Volunteerism, Music Tourism, Sex Tourism so on and so forth. But amazingly, I chanced upon a very unique form of tourism, but definitely not one that a person would want. We have heard of Medical Tourism, on how people travel all over the world to seek medical help, for example, a terminally ill patient travelling to the States to try and find a cure. But allow me to share a special form of tourism, ‘Death Tourism’.

This term may be new to many, but in actual fact, I’m sure some have heard of it before. Death Tourism in this case means a person travelling outside of his or her country to other country to seek suicide, assisted suicide. For example, I was reading the news on this particular guy who was a rugby player. Due to an accident, he was paralysed and it has caused tremendous suffering to himself as a result of it. He then flew from London (his home) to Zurich, Switzerland to get an organization there to perform Euthanasia (the practice of ending a life in a manner which relieves pain and suffering). He was 23 years old when he died.

Such practice is illegal in most countries, Singapore included. It’s of no wonder why it is illegal in most countries. Assisted suicide is a complicated issue in overseas. Euthanasia to me, should only be performed when it is under the will of the logical-minded person. It should only be decided by the person himself or herself. But in such incident, there are cases where one can’t speak due to certain imparity to his or her body. It’s a tricky process I feel. Yet I feel so much for those who had to make that decision.

I put myself in that shoes but I feel I wouldn’t even have the courage to think about it. Knowing you are going to die. How does that feel. Knowing your life is going to end. It doesn’t seem normal at all. Yet, I can terribly feel some victims are left with literally no choice at all. When pain conquers it all, perhaps it’s really time to say goodbye to the world. Perhaps when all hopes are gone, it’s time to end the suffering. No matter what, there is always a 50-50 perception on such. I personally feel it should be legal under very strict conditions because there bound to be people out there who requires it, but it would be going against human nature of 生老病死. As I type, I feel a terrible ache. Such decision is left with no return. What if that person decides to change his or her mind, all because he rather endure the pain and still see his or her loved ones?

Aside to that, I wonder what lethal poison did they use on those who decided to opt for assisted suicide. And for those who assisted the suicide, doesn’t that make them murderer somehow, indirectly? Oh, I feel a whirlpool of contradiction. Really, what is this world coming to?

Acts of Love Speak Louder than Words

Previously, I had a post on the exploration of love languages between couples - Say It With Love, Make Time (http://embryonisk.blogspot.com/2011/05/say-it-with-love-make-time.html). Words may mean alot, but like they always say, action always speaks louder than words.

Thoughtful Gifts
The age-old habit of showering your date with gifts is not without its grain of truth - it's an expression of genuine affection.

Don't mistake this love language for materialism though. Those who feel loved through Thoughtful Gifts thrive on thoughfulness.

Whether it is walking down the entire stretch of Orchard Road to find specific gift your date desires, patiently joining a long queue at the food court for her favourite takeaway fried bee hoon, or going through the hassle of hopping from one outlet to the next to get that jersey he would die for - the process is seen more valuable than the gift itself. People always say it is the thought that counts and it is true. If you really love someone, giving is a joy no matter how much trouble is involved. In fact, you will smile when you think back on all these little anecdotes of what you've gone through to win his or her hear.

An expert says girls are usually shy. She expects the guy to take the initiative to show his love. At most, she will drop hints but may find it meaningless if she has to keep reminding the guy about it. You will be surprised to know that men want to have gifts too, and giving when it is least expected can have a magical effect.

A scenario of a guy named Daniel, he does not have luxury of time for gift exchange, especially on festive occasions. While everyone else celebrates, he can only wait for his day off to celebrate the occasion belatedly with his girlfriend. He says:"Although I don't say it, if my girlfriend gives me something out of the blue, it means the world to me."

Acts of Service
In a scenario which involved a lady named Rachel, she was hoping her boyfriend would help pack her belongings when she was moving, but he did not offer to help and she was sorely disappointed.

In another scenario, Sara was tasked to bring good to a BBQ party and her boyfriend drove her around to pick up the items before dropping her off at the venue, without getting out of the car to help her carry. She felt unloved.

Why did the girls feel hurt. The answer is simple: instead of lending a helping hand, the guys were 'sitting around' and this signalled to them that the guys didn't care enough to help.

Act of service if a love language that speaks dearly to us in the same way our mother and father would have shown their love for us.

He cooks porridge and soup for you when you fall sick;she washes your dirty landry, irons your clothes and polishes your shoes without realising it. These are acts of commitment.

If your partner identifies with this type of love language, you should let your actions do the talking. If you really love someone, doing things for him or her will not feel like a chore at all. Do it out of love and even the smallest actions will spell: I care.

True?

The Real Hard Truth

Chanced upon a note/message at Nicole Seah Facebook page. The below mentioned note was unbiasedly written by a journalist in training. Awesome and I must say, it's a perfect piece of work, along with his photo work. Check the links for it:-
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150176728402867.328152.524682866
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150185813247867.331484.524682866

My dear friends,

During these 9 days of hustings, I have been asked many times: "Who are you covering this for?" At first, I was at a loss for words. On paper, I am officially representing the IHT. I have been asked by the nice folks from IHT to do a pre-election story on Tin Pei Ling in mid April. But that was the only General Elections assignment I had.

Hard truth #1: Singapore elections don't figure very much in the international news. Hard truth #2: Singapore Elections is important to Singaporeans (not foreigners!) So, all the rallies and walkabouts I have covered after the Tin story were not assigned. In other words, no one actually pays me to do this.

So why do I do this? As I left the house yesterday for the final WP rally, my mum asked me the same question. I told her, in little tongue-in-cheek manner: "So that your grandchildren and great grandchildren will know what happened today!"

The history that we record today is important for our children. The past that we define for them today, will define who they are in the future. The government has always said that the new generation is "soft". Why? Because we subscribe to a version of history that pats ourselves on the shoulders and say "we have made it". We are told that we should be grateful to a few important people, for getting us from a Third World fishing village to a First World cosmopolitan state. So much has been said about the leader(s), that the rest of our forefathers: the trishaw riders, the factory workers, the hawkers... basically the man-in-the-street, don't seem to matter any more. The opposition politicians of the past, worst of all, seem to deserve the proverbial gallows of history, and be condemned as negative elements upsetting us glorious past.

Such a record of history must stop. We cannot allow anyone to have a monopoly on truth. We cannot forget that Singapore was built on the sweat and toil of EVERY Singaporean son and daughter. Even Chee Soon Juan, whose past antics have cast much negativity on the opposition, deserves credit for showing the new opposition of today, what NOT to do.

In the course of recording this election, I strived in vain for "balance" - a tall order that was laid upon me when someone commented: "Why do you only have pictures of opposition?" So I started taking pictures of ordinary people, pictures of men in white, pictures of everything that helps me, a Singaporean son, make sense of what was happening around me. At first, I thought I should stick to the Marine Parade GRC, where I NOW live (although I never moved house). But as the elections unfolded, I realized that although the narrative had to be personal, I couldn't ignore the larger picture. I am, after all, a journalist by training.

Coming back to journalism, I felt a little hurt when a supporter made a snide remark about my colleagues and our craft. He said, quite audibly: "You see all these photographers, take so many pictures, but next day only use so few! All these are SPH people, only help the PAP!" I was within earshot, and I wanted to rebutt. But I held my tongue, because there is grain of truth in it. I was from the national newspapers for 5 years. Apart from space constraints, the newspapers are indeed servants to two masters: the advertisers, and more importantly, the government (aka PAP). I have had my fair share of frustrations having my best pictures canned, or cropped beyond recognition.

Which is why I am glad we have social media today.

Because we have Facebook today, we can finally look at the uncensored truth. We can finally know how many people really attended the opposition rallies, and what transpired during the rallies and walkabouts. We finally have unlimited space to play our pictures, and no blind editors to tell us this picture is "not fit to print".

Yes, it doesn't pay me a single cent - covering the GE 2011 this way. But somethings cannot be measure in dollars and cents. We need to understand this. The ruling party today wants us to believe that everything has a price tag - from becoming a minister, to your family nest, to the efficiency of public transport. We cannot buy this ideology. I don't want my children to grow up in a country that measures them for everything they do. I don't want my children to have someone tell them: "You are less of a Singaporean, because you don't pay enough income tax." I don't want my children to grow up in a environment of fear, in which voting against the ruling party carries all kinds of phantom threats and repercussions.

No, enough is enough. Today, the history we write for our children will become their future. Do the right thing. Read up, debate with you friends, look at the truth.

Vote wisely.

From:
A fellow Singaporean,
whose only gift to you are pictures that strive to tell the truth.

My Virgin Ad

It’s amazing how doing things you like or love can make such a vast difference, even though if it’s tough or difficult. I’m comparing it against my previous job of course. Perhaps, the experience I had prior to what I’m doing now attribute to this as well. Job satisfaction arrives at a higher frequency. Typically, it’s not an easy job, to put it simply, no job out there is easy. But behind what I’m doing now, there lies a truth totally opposite of the appearance. A lot of people think marketing is such a cool job, some even say it’s glamorous. I see and understand why this is so. You get to attend functions, you get hosted, you get to meet people, you make decisions, you impress (that is if you had a job well done)..and the list goes on. Basically, the business is on you, largely on you to be specific. The mechanics of sales lies in the way you garner the necessary response, reaction and most importantly impression.

I must insist that money makes the business go round, without that, business could significantly drop. Marketing to me is rolling gold into a gold mountain. Few weeks into my job now, I wouldn’t say I’m good at it. In fact, I’m far from good. I still have much to learn (yea, like young Padawan). I thank myself for being at the very least, positive about things, followed by the support I get from a lot of people. It is still a very tough period – being all alone in the marketing department with no one to guide you, instruct you or even correct you. Literally, I’m left on a No Man’s Land. But I accepted this long and steep learning curve and I must say it has been serving me well so far. People I’ve met so far are very helpful, suppliers and colleagues alike. Most importantly, I could never do it without the support and encouragement by girl. I’m being put in a spot similar to hers few months back. Therefore, it’s much easier to self talk as well.

I’ve learnt two important things in what I’m doing now – being meticulous as well as being pro-active. Without these two essential traits, you wouldn't succeed as a marketer I realize. Creativity is one, but failing to take caution in what you do could literally bust up your own project, campaign or advertising so to speak. Being pro-active is part of being creative I realized and it take a lot for me to jump out of my previous job shadow. Frankly speaking, I’m underpaid. But I believe by compromising now, I’m taking a decisive step to step forth my future career path and plan.

Slowly and slowly, my interests and love in what I’m doing increase, along with the workload as well as stress. Come what may, I’ll take it one step at a time for nothing comes easy, it’s how you deal with it basically. Proudly, I would like to share the very first advertisement I did on Straits Times Classified, 11 May. It just feel different having your work to be seen by public. To some, it may mean peanuts, but to me, it means the world.

Wrath of Social Media?

I remember how I succumb to the thought joining Facebook. I failed to recall who (more than one person I think) influence me to do so. The good (or bad) thing is, Facebook had made it difficult for you to find out when did you join them (either you dig your email for the verification email or you will have to scroll through ages to find that very first post in Facebook). I remembered how I find Facebook a nuisance, when everyone starts talking about it when it first ‘arrives’ into Singapore. I simply ignore the topic of ‘Facebook’ each time it was brought up amongst my friends. It pretty much got my turned off, especially when I don’t even know what it was. In my mind, simply, I thought “Facebook? Face + Book?! Who the hell thought of such weird website!?” Little did I know about the infamous and rich history behind it. Having said that, I wasn’t totally clueless about it, all thanks to Friendster back then. Friendster ‘was’ the competitor back then. Perhaps my perceived mind back then made me feel stupid to own two accounts, two social media accounts to be specific. There and then, it’s obvious Friendster is still the in thing. Proof here -> (http://www.rockyfu.com/blog/social-networking-singapore/).

I remembered before all the ‘Fs’ (Facebook, Friendster), a very popular social medium has already existed, popularly known as either blogger or blogspot, which then came livejournal etc. Those were seen a having a private or public diary to share your thoughts openly or privately. It connects you to unspecified people in that case. Somehow, it was a popular thing back then. Long gone were the days where you wrote your daily entry or secret love notes on that hard covered, scented book with handwriting nicer than those appearing on computer screens. I began blogging back in 2003. It was more like an input of daily happenings which even till now, I can be seen disgusted by and at my writing when I look back at past entries.

That’s not the point. We have seen how social media impact our life and as I’m writing, it has already impacted on us so much that it intrudes privacy. Remember how social media warn us of its dangers when virus starts appearing on the so call ‘walls’ of Friendster and one click will send malwares, spyware and whatever wares into your CPU, causing significant damages. As technology speed up, we saw the dangers still looming around, evolving day after day. From minor issues such as writing unprofessionally (usage of Singlish or broken English) to spamming to major issues such as invasion of personal privacy to fraud involving credit cards or money.

No one can deny how social media has caused us to disappoint our English teachers. From ‘ur’ to wassup’, from ‘tml’ to ‘luv’, I couldn’t go on any further. Who would know what the hell if ROFL? And can anyone tell me what ‘casa’ means? LOL. Oops. Perhaps that’s the language that made social media distinctive. Afterall, it makes the whole atmosphere casual and comfortable. It’s funny how we communicate as well. Connection between people was made easier than before. A click and you’ll be connected with friends you lost contact for decades. A click and you’ll find yourself some hot date (at least some thought to be so). Hidden behind this convenience are the dangers some would probably not know.

Stealing becomes easier than ever. If we can trace name, family history, home address, mobile number from anywhere and everywhere from the web, what makes you think stealing credit card details or important private passwords is going to be more difficult than any of those?

Also, if you think social media are fun, wait till you see how it was used against you. I personally was a victim based on my previous entry on being stalked. Imagine a scenario of your photo being taken without your knowledge and posted online, shared among hundreds or thousands other and you became the infamous person overnight. Heard of stories how new-born celebrities often get their history digged and literally ruin their stardom as soon as it rise. Be careful what you write on that net, be it political, religion, sexual preference etc. More often than not, we are not aware what others can find about us. Check this website (www.123people.com) which actually runs a conclusive search on the net of the possible person you might be searching for, if not for the privacy settings of the social media now, I probably would have hundreds of my photos appearing on that website.

Even though there exist the privacy barrier than stands in the way between us and whoever, we literally have no control on our data or personal information. Ever wondered how you received weird SMS or email from companies or advertisers you’ve never seen or contacted before? There you go, the wonders of sharing. Undisputedly, everything becomes very social over these social medium, which is if you allow it. We can friends hundreds or even thousands of friends. Strangers can become friends, friends can become good friends, and not surprisingly, good friends can become enemies. ‘Friending’ became dead simple and encouraged. It has become a thing of quantity over quality. I’ve seen people or friend’s profile that has 5 digit numbers of friends. Impressive. Back in my mind, I pondered ‘do you really have that many friends?’

Social Media consumed so much time per day from many people nowadays, even I’m a victim of it. As we people, young teens and adults especially, became frequent internet users, social media wasn’t spared, up till a point where it became part and parcel of our everyday lives (http://www.viralvideomy.com/?p=430). I remembered how I tell myself not to get addicted to it, fearing that I would treat that as the world to me, I fear so much so that I almost joined the Anti-Facebook campaign which forces Facebook users to quit Facebook due to its invasion of privacy, Let’s put in simply, social media has reach to a point of ‘The World is Watching You’. We’ve seen how a 12 year old girl known strangers over Friendster and had sex with each and every one of the guys she met at least once (http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_625794.html). At such a young and tender age, social media are seen as a ‘knife’ to end their life earlier to many parents out there. To young Adults like me, it’s more of connecting myself with some of my closer friends and to kill time. Unfortunately, I had my unlucky share of being ‘abuse’ due to some unnecessary people around. Social media has been so popularly used by companies and advertisers to connect themselves to the world that it serve a good purpose for them.

I’m pretty sure when social media such as Facebook and Twitter started out, it’s never their intention to harm the community or society but instead to engage people around, making more friends. However, it works the same as Casino. When it serves as a beneficial purpose, there bound to be backfire and subsequence undesirable consequences. In my opinion, there’s no right or wrong way to express ourselves socially and associate such social media to our lives and work, but we ought to do it adequately, depending on our time and tolerance, privacy and most important, the image we want to project to whoever we want to. For better or for worse, though, we have to accept that we all exist in this new world of communications and most of us will have to learn this new language.

Say it with love, make time

Got this article from Sunday Times. Find it rather meaningful as unknowingly, many couples like me fall into this 'crime' at times. Hope by sharing this, I can not only remind myself as well as my fellow readers.

Everyone has his or her type of love language that will trigger and satisfy the most deep-seated emotional needs - a love language that makes you feel loved in the most direct way.

Affirmative Words
You show her that you are proud of her when he or she gets promoted at work. When he goes on a new exercise regime to shed a few extra pounds, you shower him with daily encouragement through the phone, sms and email.

Love needs to be expressed. If your date needs affirmative words to feel loved, be generous with your compliments and encouragement. Affirm your relationship and love for each other frequently.

Even for the most reticent, getting started with encouraging words is simple. You can surprise your loved one or show your appreciation with a handwritten card, email or sms.

If your loved one needs you telling him or her "I love you", say it often and mean it with all your heart. To affirm your love, you have to be sincere - go beyond sweet talk and your date can tell the difference.

Example would be a case where the guy, Danny, in his 30s, was not so vocal with expressing his love, while his date Lynn in her 20s, wondered why Danny did not profess his love for her. Lynn, whose love language is Affirmative Words, needed her date to provide assurance as their relationship progressed. They were both simply not speaking the same language of love and had different ideas on what they thought the other needed. After they were aware of their own and each other's preferences, their relationship improved.

Quality Time
Quality time does not mean you and your partner need to stick together all day.

Example would be Jacob and Emma only have weekends together due to hectic working hours, but each time they meet, they have so much fun experimenting with a new recipe in her kitchen. It doesn't bother them if the meal turns out to be a 'disaster'. They simply love how much fun they are getting, laughing over the experiment and doing something new each time they are together.

Another example would be Carl and Kathy, quality time is that precious hour at the end of the day when she calls him for a bedtime chat. They are too busy with work to meet up, but hearing each other's voice and knowing the other is someone they could always turn to, makes them feel loved.

If your date needs to have quality time to feel loved, think of new experiences and new places to explore together. Five you undivided attention to each other; be there for her when she needs you and let her know she can always count on you.

An expert says "A relationship is about providing what other person wants and not providing what you think they need, so once the couple understands that, they are able to get past their differences and come to a compromise to match each other's expectations.

True?

Beware the Mighty Stalker

Perhaps some of you might have already learnt how I was pestered by someone one year plus ago. Not that I leave it until now to talk about it, instead, this entire ‘nightmare’ I called it has been ‘dragged’ for over one year. Throughout the entire period, I’ve been put up with weird unnecessary reactions and questions, thrown to me by many people, especially my colleagues. Never in my life would I expect myself to be involved in and with such person.

My impression of this person, a MALE (just in case you wonder), wasn’t good. Subsequently, we turned out to be rather good colleagues. However, things changed. Trust me it’s damn true when your teachers or your parents impart this saying to you “Never Judge a Book by Its Cover”. He turned out to be a rather desperate person in disguise. He has a huge and emotional history behind him, but I will just leave that out.

The turning point began when I got attached one year plus ago. My absence from work (Long long leave) kind of made him feel weird I reckon. He began throwing weird messages to me, splurging accusations from his mouth freely. I did not know what gotten into him. There and then, he was still a colleague and friend to me. We tried to talk but I find it hard to communicate with him. He became sensitive. On social networking media, he turned stalker. He kept track of my whereabouts. On the outside, he appeared a very normal person, however, on the inside, he seems like a rather desperate attention seeker.

Because of that, I removed him off my social network. Somehow, it worked and everything subsides. Just when things seems to be normal (no longer does he invades my private life and during work, we were normal colleagues), he returned as a weirdo. Knowing how I perceive him already, he shamelessly asked me to add him back before he childishly removes me himself thereafter. It’s sort of a relief for me because no longer will he be able to know my whereabouts and stalk me like some psychopath.

His persistence every now and then had let to me feeling disgusted and irritated. He will do things and ask things that my parents or girlfriend doesn’t even do. That’s what makes everything creepy. Imagine this, I off my mobile phone at the airport for my tour leading trip and by the time I on my mobile phone at Seoul airport, the message I received was from him, asking why I did not inform him that I’ve reached Seoul safely. For goodness sake, I didn’t even inform my parents LAH!

By then, I’ve already shared my creepy yet funny experience with my friends. They gave me their piece of opinion, saying that I might have thought a little bit too much. It wasn’t until I mentioned to them certain stuff that made they changed their mindset yet again. Now imagine this, if you treat someone as friend, or perhaps say very good friend, would you buy him disposable underwear before his trip? Would you tell him you want to give me a supplementary credit card? Would you start being touchy all over him? Seriously, if your answer to any of those questions is a firm yes, please let me know.

His dark side I called it, is unknown to many working around us. Initially, I’m afraid that it’ll cause inconvenience to me, but eventually, that wasn’t too much a concern. My conscience is as clear as water. For someone who talks behind people back, I won’t entertain. He may come and tell me bad things about others, but aren’t he that stupid not to know that who knows one day, he might do the same to me? But anyway, he did do that to me. I proved a point to many. His side of story cast many doubts among other, which was eventually cleared. Like I said, you can never distinguish a fire with a piece of paper. What you do shows a lot about yourself. Eventually, it was what he did that tells the truth, I don’t even have to do anything.

It got to a point where I’ve warned him with the thought of reporting him to the police. I’ve called Telco Company to block the number even, unfortunately, a police report is required. Finally, I realized he’s afraid of two things – ignorance and police. Now that he has stopped his nonsense with me, my other colleagues became his prey. We all finally came to know what kind of person he is, how he can twist the words you said, how he can put words into your mouth etc.

To date, he still goes around telling everyone how much he dotes of me (puke), how he treats me as brother for one moment, then son for another moment, then suddenly becomes best friend. But working with him then turned into a mild chore because I’m disgusted with what I had to face. He stills pretend as though he's a very good friend of mine, but frankly speaking, he's merely a colleague, nothing more than that. Come what may, my next step is clearly to report to the authorities should he breach the line once again. And hopefully, this post shall and can serve as a piece of my unwanted life should anything happen to me, even.

My 'Virgin' Vote

As much as possible, I tried to write this in an unbiased way, that is you believe me of course. I had to document this post down, to remind myself the decision I could possibly make come this Saturday and do a comparison 5 years later if people's lives had really improve, been good or the other way round, worsen.

I grew up knowing nuts about the political scene in Singapore. Frankly speaking, I did not even know about the existence of opposition. I must say and give thumbs up to the well-crafted propaganda planned by PAP. Now imagine this, you have your brother going to PCF (PAP Community Foundation) in your early 'milk drinking years', you get to see one PAP branch in every neighborhood whenever you step out of your house or you go visiting in other neighborhood, you grew up watching news of grassroots leaders and ministers who are all from PAP, you get walkovers every elections from a tender young age until to an age when you actually know how to spell the word 'Opposition' and knowing what it means. All these can be properly concised into one word as mentioned earlier: Propaganda.

It was job well done for them (PAP). I mean, I truly mean it, all because as an growing up child, along with my brother, we had no worries i our daily lives or anything against that. My living expenses were literally provided by the sole breadwinner of my household, my dad. He brought some bread and butter just to ensure we did not had anything to worry. Of course, a worry-free life is assumingly good. Imagine this yet again, just before each start to a brand new year, you get new school shoes, you get new textbooks (but poor brother of mine had to take 2nd hand textbook), you get new uniforms. During Chinese New Year, you get new clothings to flaunt to your cousins, alongside with red packets (to really show the economy is doing real well, even though it's only a mere $2 in it). On birthdays, special occasions, you get nice presents and nice yummy food which of course can easily make a pure and innocent child then contented. Christmas seasons, you get presents once again, making you feel as though your living world is the literal Santa Claus. Not forgetting the 'rewarding' of school holidays after each exams or terms to make you feel that life is not that tough afterall.

It wasn't until 1999 that I feel that crunch. Secondary studies was a continuing propaganda. Everything that I had mentioned earlier still exist. The only difficulty is reality is starting to show. Recession arrived twice in a span of 3-4 years, both in 1999 and 2001-2003. My dad had difficulty supporting the entire family back then. He had to change jobs after jobs in order to survive. Now picture this scenario. You get your dad having sleepless nights for months (and i don't mean just one or two months, living off savings with uncertainty. You start to see dishes appearing on dinner table becoming simpler and greener. You don't get to go out during weekend, visiting nice places for dinner. Your dad stopped buying what you asked for. Trust me when I said, a 45-year old, with hardly any qualifications is definitely not something alot of companies would want to hire. With that, my dad managed to tied the whole family through the crisis and trust me when I say, my dad ALONE did it, without the help of anybody (PAP included). That is probably the main and most important why your parents keep insisting you study well.

Still, I did not attribute this crisis and overcoming of it to anything or anybody specifically. It was until when I turned completed my studies, that I realized life out there wasn't that colorful like a rainbow after all. I started filling up my own rice bowl. I had my taste on working life. I started to feel the pinch whenever I took public transport and topping up my farecard as though it's on 50% discount each time I do. I started to feel that money was hard earned, yet easily spent. All because prices are all higher than the past. Of course, I don't mean it's not supposed to be like that, but the increase are actually quite hard to handle at times, especially, to new entrants to the society like me.

As life continues, I fought my way through. National Service made it all worse for me. That mere sum are not even sufficient to tide me through. Throughout my National Service, it was a complete waste of time. Do I feel like a MAN after I enter as a boy? HELL NO. Not because I had purposely made life simpler for myself, but because I had to do it. Deaths were caused prior to my entry to National Service and it in turn made all the boys feel so much protected that officers alike would not dare to instill strict punishments or training on you.That year I entered National Service, Bukit Panjang saw its very first opposition. Back then, I wasn't able to vote. It was only then that I realized what the society are thinking.

In between the years, more incidents happening with more hands pointing towards the ruling party, citing unjustifiable non-transparency, unjustifiable increase of living costs and unjustifiable defense. The Generation Y has now grown to be Adults and we know what we and our parents went through. It's not to no avail that our parents insistence to keep us educated as it proved useful. We get to see what the past generations couldn't. We do and dare to do things the past generations dared not. We see things in a different perspective because we are willing to step out of that comfort zone, with the influence of the very much timely technology - internet. We see the reason why propaganda was so widely used and that could possibly be used as a bribery to Gen Y to believe come 2011, we will know whose side to stand for.

Like I said again, it's the first time I get to vote, therefore, I dare not choose to ignore it. I attended rallies, think through my options and observe the 'patterns'. All parties alike, they will come up with so many 'patterns' to confuse you, to influence you. On our part, we had to really see whose 'patterns' are more justifiable.

We've seen how the ruling party has grew over the years when it all started out as opposition party. Yet it had since decided to keep it that way, leaving alot of others with no choice but to listen and follow. How many of us complain each time we were unhappy with some of the policies came up yet lived with it eventually? To them (PAP), complaints are peanuts. We will eventually live with it because back in the Parliaments, those ministers (some even dozing off) have no say. The one who gets to say are the rulers of the Party. Opposition stood small amongst the white clothing. To be frank, we need alternate voice to logically handle and provide alternatives to policies. It has nothing to being against the ruling party, instead, it's all for the well being of the future of us as well as our children.

This is the first time the seats are so fiercely contested, and it literally brought hope to everyone. Frankly speaking, if there's even anyone who's comfortable with the current 'One Party Parliament', do you think they would be so happy when they found out opposition is coming?? I think besides looking at that the current party has done for your constituency for the last 5 years, we should also look at the policies introduced for that same duration and ask ourselves if we had been living way better off or can there be any improvements to those policies introduced. It's probably high time we as Gen Y start making a difference, providing a frontal approach with the older ones as our support. Now think through it all and cast your holy votes wisely.