Getting Married: More Than It Seems

Many might think of it as too soon, but come to really sit down and put your minds together and do your math, there’s actually isn’t much time anyway. An average couple spent approx 1-2 years saving for marriage, that’s provided if the both of them has been saving a decent amount monthly and not living a ‘there’s no rainy days’ kind of life. It’s only both me and the girl sat down and we had a chat that last several hours only then we realize getting married is not as easy and simple as its seems.

Living in where we are now, the increase living cost of Singapore with competition for almost everything all around, housing included, it has naturally been a culture for couples to get a flat together first before even getting married. Weird and no sense at all, but oh well, that’s the thing in Singapore. There is NO CHOICE, alright, perhaps the better and more appropriate word would be not much choice. Imagine the numbers of things involved simply in just getting married, not even to mention what’s going to come right after that which is marriage. To be frank, since young, I dream of getting married. From a naïve thinking of ‘I love you, you love me, let’s get married’ to how I start to see a clearer and more realistic picture of getting married isn’t just about love, it consist of a whole lot of components never heard or seen before, not forgetting the culture and tradition we Chinese have to stick to. And after that mere few hours chat, my mindset changed. Somehow, looking at those figures involved and the processes of it, it kind of harshly impacted me. I feel like everything is so troublesome and it’s so costly to get married, so much so that I’m not looking forward to it as much as before, not that I do not want to get married, it’s just that the figures and processes involved were overwhelming. Nevertheless, it remained my sweet little wish and dream of mine, to be married to the love of my life.

Imagine the efforts and numbers involved – getting a flat, proposal, buying proposal ring, choosing wedding bands, photo shoot, honeymoon, wedding dinner, ROM, trying your bridal suits and gowns etc. So much work involved. No wonder there’s a job known as wedding planner. But I reckon these are what make it memorable. I often heard, bickering and arguments are common among couples while they are preparing for their marriage, but that is in fact really part and parcel of life. Like what I’ve mentioned previously, the waiting time for a flat you called your own, there’s so much to do. Applying for a flat is in fact the very first thing the couple do together towards their marriage, even with uncertainty up ahead. But once again, that’s the way things works now in Singapore.

Money is the largest concern of them all. Wedding dinner alone can cost you approx $30 to $40k, of course, not including the red packets that you will be getting back. However, after doing our maths, we realize, the harshest killer turns out to be the HDB flat you applied few years back. Imagine getting a flat with nothing on or in it. Getting renovation done to your flat is like injecting drugs into your blood. It can kill you. No wonder interior design firms and revonators are coming out with special packages to ‘lure’ couples in and even banks are here to make your day ‘better or worse’ (you decide) by coming out with renovation loans. When banks come out with loans, it means it is generally beyond the capability of many to afford. Aircon costing $3k, bed costing $1k, flooring costing a five digit figure etc, the list goes on. It’s nothing but money. Government has been ‘pushing’ people to find love, get married and bear kids, but with such a high expense living, who would have dared.

Having said the above, I believed everything that has been put in place has its reason. To either lighten the burden of the couple, or to make it memorable for the couple. Many think of it as unnecessary. For example, I’ve heard of some people who bought proposal ring that are deliberately bought cheap because they think it’s only worn ONCE, what for do they need to get a proposal ring that can even be a downpayment for a brand new car. There’s even people who wants to do away with wedding dinners because that’s simply a whole lot of chores from food tasting to choose your guest list to rushing here and ensuring your guests are hosted well. But I personally believe it is an once in a lifetime event and either we make it worthwhile and memorable, going through the happiness, troubles, spending painstakingly earned money and the entire process or we don’t do it at all. For that, I definitely look forward to my dream come true…