Love?

Many of us have or had been in love. The definition of love is often a debate. The feeling of love is often sweet. However, there's also a downside of love, it will bring pain and hurt to those whose love has failed. There's several stages in love. This involves from falling in love, till getting together, to maintaining this relationship, to getting married, to having a family and then eventually growing old.

Often the most important part is the part where you have to maintain the relationship. At this stage, parties often consider their half as either just boyfriend or girlfriend. All the saying of 'i will marry you in x years time, all because i love you, forever and ever.' RUBBISH and BULLSHIT. How sure is he that he will sees himself wearing the groomsuit in x years time? The only time he's sure will be the day he not only treats you as his girlfriend but also as a kin. Let me question this paragraph with another questio - will there be any possiblity of leaving your girlfriend? I'll ask another question - will there be any possibility of you leaving your kin? Imagine i ask you to sever ties with your mother. Would you bear to do it? Almost certainly not, all because she's your kin.

I've seen how old couples have grown old together and at their age, still as loving as any other young couples on the street. I've seen how married couples have ended up as enemies fighting over custody of their children and over fortune. I've seen how young couples break up and leaving either one party feeling the world is coming to an end. So what is love? There's a quotes i used to chance upon, if love causes hurt, then why go for it? Aren't you hurting yourself?

There's this article i came across. I'm not a love guru, but my relationship with my own girlfriend and relationships of my friends has made me learned alot. Enjoy this article written by someone....I'll name this someone Edward (fake name)

When a couple decide to tie a knot after dating for just four months, are they madly in love - or just mad? Edward takes another look at quickie marriages.

[I've recently found out that two friends of mine are getting hitched to each other. This called up for celebration - so i met up with one of them for a lychee martini. The customary ritual between girlfriends went something like this: "Congratulations, let me see your rock...Wow, nice one, you lucky girl!"

But after the alcohol wore off, i couldn't help but feel a little sceptical. After all, Jess was marrying John four months after finding each other on a dating website. Why the hurry to get married? How can you possibly get to know a person inside and out within a span of four quick months? Then i checked myself: For a moment there, i forgot that i too had been there and done that, tying the knot with something i'd known for just six months.

Sure, it's easy to be on the outside saying: "What are they thinking?" But for the people in the whirlwind couplings who are madly in love and attached at the hip, there's probably no better way to profess your love quickly than to seal it with an "I do", especially in this age of instant gratification.

That's because when you are in love, it's very difficult to escape the trappings of romance. They don't call it being "Madly in lovE" for nothing. And when Cupid strikes, the intensity of love is so strong that most lovebirds don't even know what hit them. Loves makes you go against all things rational because falling in love is the most addictive drug in the universe.

From the medical point of view, there's a rational explanation for all this. Feeling tight-headed and giddy, with butterflies floating in your gut, can be all blamed on the spike in your hormones. That's why for the "newly in lovE", it's no sweat staying up all night chatting on the phone or waking up at 6am to watch the sunrise together, hand-in-hand at East Coast Park. Love makes you feel bright as a button, bold and fearless, and like you're on top of the world.

Why so soon?
But while it's perfect to vask in love and enjoy it, do couples absolutely need to get hitched so soon? If you decide that you're going to spend the rest of your love together anyway, why not hold off on the decision to visit the Registry of Marriage for a eyar or two. It shouldn't make any difference to your existing relationship.

Here's why you should wait a little longer. Researchers from Italy's Pavia University found that "love molecules" in the blood - which heighten the euphoric feeling new lovers get - decrease after one year then level off to match the blood level of couples who have been in long term relationships. It simply means that the exhilaration during the honeymoon period doesn't last, and that life gets back to normal after the first 12 months.

Even relationship counsellors strongly urge couples to date for at least a year before getting engaged, because it takes that long to know each other - about three months to discover their partner's "real side". and six to nine months for each other's flaws to surface. This is the time when most couples usually start questioning where their relationship is headed, deciding if they can live with each other imperfections or not.

So it really doesn't hurt to take your time and get to know each other's good and bad sides. For one, think of the problems that would follow if your quickie marriage fails for some reason. It's isn't like being in a relationship where you can just breal up. Legally, you'd have to be separated for three years before you can file a divorce. Factor childen in and it's double the legal trouble. Not to mention the amount of money spent on earplugs after listening to relatives and friends all waiting to say "I told you so".

If you need more convincing, Hollywood celebrities make a pretty good case-in-point on whirlwind-romance-crash-and-burn scenarios. Britney Spears was married to Jason Alexander for a good 55 hours. Nichiolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley faried only slightly better, lasting three months. As for Tom Green and Drew Barrymore, they bid farewell to each other after five months of wedded bliss. How many of these quickie relationships ended up happily ever after? I can't think of any, going by Tinseltown standards.

The recipes for staying in love
But to be fair, i know of couples in Singapore who met and married three months after meeting each otherm and are still stuck like glue after 15 years. On the other hand, friends who married their childhood sweetheart of 10 years have also separated within just a year of their nuptials.

As for my own marriage, the truth is that it ended as quickly as it started. Six months after tying the knot, we went our own seperate ways. I've learnt that the hard way that my heart or gut isn't the best organ to decide it if i should walk down the aisle. I've learnt to trust my grey matter instead. Like the experts say, couples put their best behaviour in the first few months of courtship. When you are wrapped up in love, of course your gut is going to assume he or she is The One.

Falling in love is the easy hit, judging by how frequently it occurs. But in the end, relationships are really keeping the flame burning when the thrill of the chase is overm when reality sets in a year or two after marriage. Try feeling the euphoria of love for your husband after you've cleaned the apartment and he doesn't notice it at all.

Still, i'm not giving up on finding my "real" soulmate. I asked some happily married couples on what's their secret recipe to living happily ever afterr is. While there is no magiv formula, most of them said you need to be both best friend and lovers. Like Tina and Mike, married 12 years, who helpfully point out that trust can't be earned overnight or in just four months, but instead grows stronger after weatherinn the hard knocks of life. Compromise is another factor, as is never taking each other for granted. Another friend, Justin, says he and his wife have a pact: "Never yell at one another unless the house is on fire."

I'm inspired. Whether it's a tumultous romance or a five-year relationship, the fact is that we all want to same end result - a happy and vlissful marriage. And while it's really up to you to decide what's best for yourself, it's better to play it safe.

Get to know each other for at least a year before taking the plunge. Because you know what they say: The best things come to those who wait.]

The above article is really interesting and sets me thinking. It's so true of what is mentioned and i've learnt abit or two from it...Hope you guys have the same sentiments after reading it as well...