I miss you, MiuMiu

Some would think, what the hell in crying over the death of just a mere small little hamster. But seriously, it wasn't easy. If you think it's absurd, then you are wrong. Especially after 1 years and 4 months, prematurely approx 6 months away from hiss expected life expectancy, he left us just like that. To me, i never once regard him as an 'it'. Instead, he remain as someone who is a 'him' to me, and more so dearly to my mum.

The night before, my mum and i were still talking about him - how toturing is it for him to be alive, with his sickness and illness - his head swells to a terrible state, his lumps grew bigger than ever, despite visits to the vet. My mum turned in after that conversation, briefly after that, i got myself ready to turn in. I walked through the living hall to the toilet, on my way, i passed by the cage, ever so familiar with him inside, he was nibbling, certainly not his usual self at this hour of the night. Without noticing much, also aware that he indeed is getting sicker, i presume he must have been tired. Though worried, since months ago, i got myself mentally prepared for the worse scenario, but despite that, it hit me hard.

The next day, i woke up to a bad news, a terrible one. I got out of my bed and went out. There squatting down was my mum. In front of her is a plastic bag, inside was a wrapped newspaper. Immediately i knew what happened. But i was too shocked that i stayed still, till i heard the expected from my mother. There she is, teary eye, delivering the bad news to my ears. Without saying much, i went to do my usual washup. That was one of the worst mornings of my entire life. Memories of how i made him my pet, till how he accompanied me and my mum as companion, till the days whereby i stood by him when he was sick, till my mum tireless care for it. I felt an ache in my heart. I was hurt emotionally. I directed my sadness, somehow it turned into anger when i thought of the ultimate reason i became their owner.

For the first time, my mum cried over a death of a pet. He wasn't just a pet. My mum treated him like nearly his own. She would chat with him. I remembered the days i played with him. Never mind the biting on both our fingers. It was seriously nothing as compare to what he had suffered. I cried as well. Never once we once so attached to him. From two, we are left with one. I couldn't bear to take care of him when he was still alive, leaving the responsiblity to my mum. I always felt bad, because i thought i brought it upon him. Although the vet claimed it's due to his bad genes, i still felt bad. I'm glad the night before, i was with him.

One week plus after his death, my mum was still upset. I went to check out the video of him, which i uploaded long ago on youtube. I cried. He was so cute, so clever. I really missed him. I wished i could care for him more. But it's all too late. I seriously hope we have been good owners to him, because he's really a good companion for us.

Hope you rest in peace, Miu Miu.

Thanks for all you've done

I've missed you for so long

I can't believe you're gone

You still live in me

I feel you in the wind

You were always there for me

You were always there waiting

And now I come home and I miss your face so

I close my eyes to see

I carry the things that remind me of you

In loving memory of you