NA

I thought i wun have to envy people again. I though i'll be able to spend that day the way that i've been dreaming ever since i was in a sec sch student. I envy people and always wondering when would be my turn. Months ago, i have so much on my mind about that day. I've always been looking forward to it. For finally, for once, my wish is going to come true. But now, everything has changed. I'm following the norm. I'm not going to fulfill my wish. It's the 1st time that's special to me.

What was said make me so useless. Yet again this year, i could only have the share of envying people again. I said before, if only one could be happy, i rather it be her. So everything shall go according to her wish. I dunno whether it will be a happy day for me, but i'll try. But at least for now, i'm sad, i'm disappointed. She meant well, i knew it. But that's really not what i want.

She has been telling what she expects from that day. I got that in my head and also planned. I been wanting to make a huge surprise. For all that express how far i would go just to make that day a special for both of us. Even to the extent of taking half day leave.

But it seems everything is pointless. The things that i have been thinking for the past few days especially, all are unnecessary. All gone down the drain. I won't pursue this matter any loner. For it's going to be endless. This time round, i have no choice. A day that's supposed to make both happy could only make one happy. It might even not let both be happy on that day.

How i really wish that day never come. I don't look forward to it anymore. I don't want that day to come. I shall cancelled my leave. I'll do what i promised...